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Shadib Bin's Reviews > Stay True
Stay True
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This was a rather difficult read. Only in the last page, does Hua really say something that I struggled with the books narration from the get go - Hua saying he is legendarily self-involved. I know the book is about coming of age, friendship, loss, grief, but unfortunately Hua self-involved approach can really take away the reader from having any meaningful engagement with this book. I recently have been looking into the concepts of self-critical and involved vs. self compassion, the former really can be all consuming (which this book suffers from - in its monotonous approach), vs. The latter that can acknowledge your own self, but also allows to look outward, with depth and clarity, this I felt only really happen near the end of the book.
This may be a difficult review but I’ll do it nonetheless to make sense of my own discomfort and why - Ken, the beloved friend who was murdered in a carjacking, felt like a passerby in Hua’s recollections. I wonder if this is intentional, and maybe it is, because of him acknowledging the self-involved notion, but I felt like Ken was not sketched out and was only given a very vague impression of his existence. Which is frustrating, because clearly they both admired each other, and I still don’t think I have much understanding of who Ken really was, only what he may have been to Hua - but in the self-involved way (where people just happen to drop / be in your story, that’s it).
My other theory, which feels plausible, is that, this is Hua quite literally putting himself back in to the space and mind he was back then (before the murder), in which case, these trite observations and understanding of the world, makes sense give the literal coming of age in the pages. This is extremely true, as after Ken’s brutal murder, we as readers see Hua’s growth and grapple with notions and ideas beyond the surface level understanding (e.g. what if it was his fault?).
The last 30 pages or so, the book really comes together to depict Hua as someone really diving outside himself, accepting different truths can exist, without his need to have the better truth vs. others.
I would like to reread this book sometime in the future, when I hope I’ll be ready to really see this rather fragmented story telling in a different light.
This may be a difficult review but I’ll do it nonetheless to make sense of my own discomfort and why - Ken, the beloved friend who was murdered in a carjacking, felt like a passerby in Hua’s recollections. I wonder if this is intentional, and maybe it is, because of him acknowledging the self-involved notion, but I felt like Ken was not sketched out and was only given a very vague impression of his existence. Which is frustrating, because clearly they both admired each other, and I still don’t think I have much understanding of who Ken really was, only what he may have been to Hua - but in the self-involved way (where people just happen to drop / be in your story, that’s it).
My other theory, which feels plausible, is that, this is Hua quite literally putting himself back in to the space and mind he was back then (before the murder), in which case, these trite observations and understanding of the world, makes sense give the literal coming of age in the pages. This is extremely true, as after Ken’s brutal murder, we as readers see Hua’s growth and grapple with notions and ideas beyond the surface level understanding (e.g. what if it was his fault?).
The last 30 pages or so, the book really comes together to depict Hua as someone really diving outside himself, accepting different truths can exist, without his need to have the better truth vs. others.
I would like to reread this book sometime in the future, when I hope I’ll be ready to really see this rather fragmented story telling in a different light.
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Reading Progress
November 21, 2022
– Shelved
November 21, 2022
– Shelved as:
to-read
December 4, 2022
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Started Reading
December 4, 2022
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Finished Reading
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Tallon
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rated it 2 stars
Dec 25, 2022 08:44AM
I was scrolling through the reviews to see if anyone felt the same way i did reading the book and was glad to come across your comments here. Your critiques that the focus was self-involved and that Ken seemed like a distant figure we never really grasp, rang true for my reading experience.
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Very clear review that helped me understand why I was uninvolved with the book. And, yes, it improved toward the end. Another GR reviewer listened to the audio - perhaps that would be better, but I'm not willing to find out!
I agree with your review. I wanted to like this, but I felt like this wasn't so much about the friendship as it was about how important it was for him to be different and non-mainstream. I expected more after hearing the author interviewed on NPR.
I listened to it and felt the same way, so I'm not sure that listening improves the fragmented experience of the book. Maybe it was me, but I struggled to stay interested because too often I was trying to figure out how what he was telling us related to his relationship with Kevin or even friendship in general.
I felt *exactly* the same way. I got nothing from this other than the fact that Hua depicts himself as incredibly tiresome. All the other “characters� (Ken included) were just name-salad with little-to-no development. A disappointment.
Agreed. The fragmented story is hard to follow. The story was just getting interesting when it ends.
While the book itself was an easy read, I really struggled with staying with this story; I was trying to figure out how Staying True was named one of the �10 Best Books of 2022 and won the 2023 Pulitzer Prize for Memoir or Autobiography. Although the story line is supposedly about grief and friendships, there was little character development, especially regarding Ken, and Hua seemed very self-centered. At one point, a friend asks him if he and Ken were really that close - my though exactly. Even his focus on music, etc. seemed very superficial. I also would have liked to see more familiar interpretations; I agree that the last 20-30 pages were more interesting. All in all, a literary disappointment.
Same. Thanks for putting this into words.
Couldn't finish because of my issues with the main character also. Insufferable
Had a hard time putting to words why I couldn’t love the book, well said . Also glad people don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty for not feeling forced to “get� a Pulitzer winner. And agreed where I thought there would be more emphasis on the relationship with Ken but half of it was just diary entries about high school shenanigans and trips to the music shop
Totally agree. Only the last chapter was somehow coherent.
I see your perspective, and I would argue that the self-involved approach was the author’s intent. He was 18, 19, 20 when these events took place. Every young, insecure person has a self-involved view. But Hua grows up and out of that mindset. As the title suggests, “Stay true,� the central theme is mainly Hua’s coming of age—him expanding his understanding of the world to include others by shaking off his need to prove himself through being obscure and “alt.� After Ken’s death, Hua opens himself, as you mention, in the last 30 pages/chapter. Hua feels everything is “his fault� or “his responsibility� until he goes through therapy. After, he learns that he is part of a bigger network, as shown through him questioning his memories and obsessively writing down his recollections of Ken’s existence. Yes, ken’s depiction is only an outline of a person in a lot of ways. Hua only knew him for 2 years. That was all he got of him. And it’s a pretty honoring tribute. It seems like Ken really took everyone in and brought them together. The small story of him giving the kid at the shoe store a balloon comes to mind. He was kind and didn’t deserve what he got.
Idk. This book really felt like growing up to me. I can relate to the content. That’s my take on it, anyway. Hard to criticize memoirs. Is there another way to tell the story? I’m not convinced there is.
^^ it’s nearly impossible to criticize memoirs. I don’t know what’s in his memories other than how they manifested on the page after countless revisions. Idk. Is there another way to have told this story? Ken is gone. Hua is the storyteller here and I think he really honors his friend and connects his story to readers in a really hopeful and vulnerable way.
