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When you're young, every part of life seems big and monumental. Once older, you can see it for what it is: smaller pieces of a larger game you have no choice but to play.

The description doesn't do this novel justice, if you ask me. It presents the story as a contemporary, set in Silicon Valley, that deals with depression and a toxic workplace... and while this isn't untrue, it doesn't capture what Ripe actually does.

It is books like this that get under my skin. I can read about gore, abuse, war, horrific tragedy and, while I am moved, I don't feel depressed. This book is depressing. And I feel it should come with a warning to those struggling with depression precisely because it is so good at capturing the darkness of that feeling, that head place where everything in the world takes on an ugliness.

Ripe uses elements of magical realism-- namely, a black hole that follows Cassie around, waxing and waning with her mood --and the writing itself is sometimes dreamy and poetic. At times, it feels slightly satirical. It is certainly not what I would describe as a regular contemporary novel. But I did find the short, hard-hitting chapters really compelling and effective.

You wake up one day and realise what you've become, what you allow, and you have to stare down into the pit at yourself, at your own choices, at the ways in which you have been cunning and stupid and false and wretched to keep up with the world around you.
How does anyone bear themselves?

Cassie attempts to survive in a job that constantly demands more from her than she can physically give. She attempts to have a relationship with a man who, no matter how appealing, will never be truly available to her. She attempts to keep going, get up, go to work, keep smiling, as the homeless sleep on the streets around her, as the company she works for exploits another eager young worker. She feels herself playing the game, shitting on others to keep her job, and hates herself for it. To cope, she imagines she is two people-- the real her, and her fake self.

The ending felt a little unfinished to me, but I have no clue how you should end a story like this.

Warning for depression, abuse, substance abuse and (view spoiler)[abortion. (hide spoiler)]