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i wanted to love this tbh i really loved Win in both books and i was lowkey upset his book was cornville. Lars was good too, but god this was hard to choke down. it wasn't even bad exactly, i just struggled to get through it.

the book opens in a flashback to when Win, the brother of Wes and Max, meets Lars, the swedish swimmer who was reluctant to be an american's exchange student-buddy-thing. Lars immediately dislikes him for reasons initially undisclosed and also because he's attracted to him and doesn't want to be. since Win's presence is a disruption to Lars' preferences and is everything he dislikes in life, it isn't shocking at all when they become friends with benefits after Lars has a near-death experience due to a nut allergy. none of the relationship, aside from their first impressions, is in this part of the book. so going into it, we know how they met and that they've slept together. i wasn't a big fan of that because a lot of things had to be told to us instead of shown and that kind of narration just drags on, especially when it's shown in thoughts or flashbacks.

at some point, Win leaves Sweden and Lars, but they cross paths again when Lars transfers to Westbrook, the American college that Win attends. Win doesn't want to come out as bi and Lars won't admit he came to Westbrook because he needed to be close to Win again.

Lars and Win have undeniable chemistry, but they're both closed off and pining in silence for different reasons. Lars still wants and feels most safe with Win, but he is recovering from a previous relationship with his abusive partner, Oskar. Oskar shows in the first flashback, but very little is revealed about the nature of his proximity to Lars. he's still out for Lars with a vengeance but Win doesn't know how much there is to the story. for Win's part, he also wants Lars and loves him too, but the existence of that love has him in a grip of fear due to losing his parents and seeing his baby brother Wes have two nearly-fatal experiences. he doesn't want to love because he doesn't want to lose it.

eventually, Win gets over his worries and the two end up together in a sickeningly sweet relationship. seriously these two are so cute and Win calling Lars "Angel" was borderline too much for me. that is the main thing i liked about this book and the other too: the mmcs are feral for each other and that's the shit i do like.

Lars' past comes back to haunt him and once again, it's a little OTT and dramatic but i'm in this genre to have an experience so i won't complain when they deliver. Win and Lars together 4 ever.

if i had read this out of order and read it before Wish, i might have a higher opinion of this one and lower opinions of Wish. i think the dialogue and the overall way the author tends to write her characters was just too much too soon from book to book and it started wearing on me. seriously, the amount of times they referenced "Win's sun" was agonizing. and if we did a word count for how often they say "bro" i bet i wouldn't even believe it because it feels like even MORE. i wasn't unhappy with this book. the things that stuck out to me in the wrong way just tallied too high.