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Please take this content warning seriously: This is a New Adult fiction book with mature themes. It contains graphic sex and language and an explicit description of sexual violence.

Please take the content warning above seriously because this is a book about 18 year old high school kids and will therefore appeal to the Young Adult demographic but it does contain graphic sex and, most importantly, a shocking scene of sexual violence.

Warning aside �� this book is an incredibly good read. S. Walden is a new author to me but, after reading Going Under, I’ll definitely be seeking her out again. She’s taken the incredibly difficult and sensitive subject of rape and handled it beautifully. It’s never once sensationalised nor overly dramatic �� it is exactly what it is and that is horrific, terrifying, degrading and humiliating.

Besides the heavy subject of rape, the theme of guilt is at the centre of this novel. Brooke’s best friend Beth has committed suicide a few months after discovering her boyfriend going down on Brooke. Brooke and Beth have been best friends for years and have shared their darkest secrets and that includes the fact that Beth was raped in High School. After Beth’s suicide, Brooke is eaten away by the guilt that she feels and swears vengeance on the boys that brought Beth so low and will stop at nothing to achieve it. She attends Beth’s old high school determined to bring down those responsible but she doesn’t bank on meeting and falling in love with Ryan �� a mysterious and fairly reclusive teen.

This was all so well done. Right at the beginning, I really didn’t like Brooke at all. I mean she broke the girl code right? You do not ‘do�� your best friend’s man, whatever the situation, there are no excuses, but, as we get to know her better, I slowly began to warm up to her as she is consumed by her guilt as it almost takes over her entire life. Luckily, there are people around her that care enough about her to try to stop her and to be there for her when she hits rock bottom.

My desperate desire to do good came more from an overwhelming feeling of guilt for my past than from my moral compass. I knew eventually I would have to say something, do something, that made me uncomfortable because when you’re trying to be good, what choice do you have?

I fell in love with Ryan although he remained a fairly mysterious character for almost the entire book. He’s caring, thoughtful, a great lover but you just know that there’s something in his past �� a drop-dead, fit as gorgeous teenager should not be hiding away playing video games all day. He should be running with the popular crowd but he’s not �� what gives?

Brooke thinks she has it all planned out but things do not work out the way she planned which brings us to the scene of sexual violence. I think everyone knows, on embarking on this one, that this is going to happen, that the story is working slowly, inevitably towards a devastating conclusion and when it does happen, it is horrific and awful and you will want to put the book down but these situations really do happen and, even though it’s shocking to read, it’s beautifully handled and it brings into focus something that’s often kept in the shadows. It’s not gratuitous in any way at all and it’s not erotic not sensationalist �� it’s brutal, raw and it’s realistic and it’s just horrific.

I will say, in case you’re wondering, that there is a happy ending and this is a stand alone love story �� it’s just an angsty, difficult ride to get there but it’s a ride well worth taking. This is an exceptionally well-written and challenging piece of new adult fiction and it’s captivating and engrossing.

Highly recommended.

4 stars

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