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Let's start off by saing that Winter can write! For a topic that is generally shrouded in secrecy, Winter wrote in a compulsive way that had me turing the pages faster than I could process what I was reading! It was eye-opening, jaw-dropping honesty and vulnerability that is hard to find! I appreciate how much of herself she put out on the page, and I learned a lot about a lifestyle that is, admittedly, pretty uncomfortable for me.

I don't mean this to be judgmental when I say that this lifestyle would absolutely not work for me or my husband. We also don't live in a bigger, more open city like NYC...so after reading this, it is obvious that I live in very sheltered, vanilla community.

But, wow! I think that's also what made this such a fascinating read for me...it pushed my comfort zone, made me evaluate the thoughts and feelings I have around Winter's and her husband's decisions, and confirmed my feelings on what is comfortable and acceptable for my marriage.

While there is a fair amount of shocking sexual details, there is also a lot of therapy sessions and attempts at growth (I say attempts because by the end, it still felt like Winters was missing something - more on that in a second). I thought her therapist seemed incredible...I really loved how he communicated and supported her without inserting his thoughts or opinions at all.

Maybe this is an unfair critique, but after finishing the book and sitting with it for a few days, I felt frustrated with Winters overall arc throughout the ten years (more?) she wrote about. I kept thinking it was a shame her and her husband didn't put the same effort into the marriage that they put into pursuing dates and other partners. I couldn't help but feel (maybe unfairly) that they were (un)intentionally spinning their own wheels because they introduced outsiders inside their marriage when the problem very much felt like a problem with herself (Winter's lack of confidence and confusion seemed to be a motivating factor in her side of the open marriage). It seemed like she thought the men would fix the holes in her bucket when only she could. And when she'd break up with a man, she would be so distraught and have to deal with devastating feelings for awhile afterwards. It all just seemed self-destructive and counterproductive to her end goals.

It was obvious how much Winters and her husband loved each other. They somehow continued to put each other first over other partners, and even attempted couples therapy together. I don't know where they stand now - if their marriage is open or closed - but this will be a standout memoir for me this year. It's very well written, extremely thought-provoking (great book club fodder), and so outside my personal comfort zone that it stretched me to think outside my boundaraies.