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I can’t read this book. I homeschool my kids, and we’re a secular, pro-science family who tries to allow our kids the freedom to learn in an environment that connects them to their community and allows them to be themselves and learn at their own pace. I often feel shamed by people when I say we homeschool, because they equate it to what this book covers. I’ve heard such good things, but it sounds painful to read.

This is nothing like the homeschooling that is done by many parents I know. My kids went to public schools but after the disastrous education policies of the pandemic I think it likely I’d home school. There are tons of great online resources, field trips and even sports leagues for home school kids these days. This author’s parents simply left her on her own.

Great book!

Not 5 stars?!

I thought this memoir was so incredibly well-written and a testament to Ms Westover’s survival and recovery from unimaginable trauma. I find that the topic of homeschooling can be a hot button, with lots of strong opinions. I don’t believe that what Ms. Westover’s parents did to their children was a legitimate form of “schooling.�� It had no purpose other than to further the narcissistic drives of a man who was untreated for severe mental illness and his wife who was both complicit and victimized herself.

“It’s a shame that survival is demanded of so many�� is so painfully true.

I didn’t consider this to be a book about homeschooling. I was amazed this girl made it to adulthood still alive. I think the takeaway is more mental health services are needed.

I think all of these defensive comments are quite interesting. She never said in her review homeschooling was bad. She said she wondered how many parents hide indoctrination and abuse under the umbrella of homeschooling. As a public school teacher for 22 years in the town next to Camden NJ, I can attest to how we as teachers are often the only bridge for abused kids between the abuse and getting out of an abusive situation. When you take the element of the world and others out of the picture it is a perfect storm to keep terrible things a secret. I completely agree that the public school system in our country can be quite broken. But it can also be quite amazing and allows kids to see views on their world other than just what is inside their homes. I read this book when it came out and it immediately made me think of how easy it is to hide abuse when no one else is watching. The part where she has her first experience learning about the Nazi party in college is horrifying enough all by itself.

I appreciated the author's note in the beginning of the memoir that this was not a book about religion or the Morman faith but about family estrangement. Where does our obligation begin and end with our family, dysfunctional or not. To me that is the universal appeal of this well-written book, to witness the journey and the struggle of the author and how she survives. Most people in this situation would not be able to exit such abuse and dysfunction, nor would they be able to get or navigate the academic education that was her ticket to another kind of living. Her education, as suggested in the title, was her odyssey, her heroine's quest, taking everything she learned in her family to determine a new life. Bravo!

Sarah wrote: "I can’t read this book. I homeschool my kids, and we’re a secular, pro-science family who tries to allow our kids the freedom to learn in an environment that connects them to their community and al..."

There is no reason to feel "shamed" about homeschooling. Whether for moral/spiritual or intellectual reasons (hopefully both) many kids come out the other side better for the experience. This book is NOT an indictment of homeschooling. It's about surviving a toxic household. The best reason to read this book is to understand the dynamics of situations in which you might not have the experience to see what is really going on. Several times Westover explains situations where her behaviors were misread by people who honestly meant well. Case in point, she didn't need to find a husband as much as she needed a dentist. Once people understood what she was too ashamed to articulate up front there were helpers who did not hesitate.
Sometimes a story is painful to read, but it's her story. Those of us who have had somewhat less dysfunctional lives can't be too uncomfortable to understand how others survive awful circumstances or what abuse looks like.

I was one of those children and this book was difficult to read but also hard to put down because of the similarities between our two lives. For me and my siblings, “homeschooled�� meant mom did teach her two oldest children to read, but after that it was up to us to learn on our own, and take over teaching even those basics to the younger ones. The irony is that my mother was a teacher, working for years as a substitute along with other odd jobs to pay all of our bills, while enabling my father’s belief that public school = government control. Just like the author, in my case there was extreme religious beliefs, undiagnosed mental illness, herbal “remedies�� when a hospital should have been visited, stocking up for the end days, and physical and emotional abuse. The result is me and my other grown siblings are mostly estranged from each other, building up chosen families of our own, keeping the family we are still in contact with at arms length. I know there are many homeschooled families where there is true education happening (I became friends with people from our homeschool group to verify this) but the lack of accountability being “homeschooled�� by my parents left me and my siblings with levels of psychological damage that we can only try to erase, even decades later.