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The truth is patriarchy forces conformity. It relies on hierarchy and oppression to survive. The men at the top benefit, and everyone else is left trying to get close to power. The enablers are often girls and women who unknowingly believe their safety relies on obeying the rules that a society made by men has created for them, rules of behavior and clothing, of outward appearances. We teach each other how to behave.

The biblical or Christian patriarchy movement is connected with Quiverfull teaching, homeschooling, and family-integrated worship. These beliefs were taught at my church as if they were God’s commands. So anyone who used birth control, who sent their kids to public school, or who wanted to have age-segregated Sunday school was looked down on and called sinful. Spiritual abuse was the air we breathed. Powerful men used the Bible as a tool to control our behavior, telling us they knew the only way to God.


ugh. it's hard to read this without considering all the children that are currently being indoctrinated with this toxic theology (view spoiler)[many who will later become politically active christian nationalists. (hide spoiler)]. this memoir could be read as a public service announcement indicating the dangers of isolating children from the outside world. cait west writes about how her understanding of the world included one religion and one political viewpoint. anyone who shared ideas or views that did not align with her father's beliefs was cut off. she did not attend public school; her sole reason & purpose in life was to become a submissive wife and mother. it is remarkable how considered and generous this account is given the spiritual abuse cait suffered. she somehow manages to humanize her father which is hard to understand. her father was not deeply misguided with his extreme vision; it was the point. (view spoiler)[when he refers to a woman newscaster as a pig i was sickened. this fundamentalist movement of christian patriarchy now enjoys political success & is part of minority rule. they want to impose this BS on others. shivers. but, also, fuck that. (hide spoiler)]

it was encouraging to see cait embrace agency and find a supportive community. i loved that for her.