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In this memoir, Jacob Tobia details their journey of understanding and embracing their non-binary gender identity. The book explores Tobia's experiences growing up in a society that demands and is comforted by rigid adherence to expected gender norms. But Tobia liked Barbies and toy soldiers, dresses and cargo shorts. What is a confused, gender-fluid boy from North Carolina to do? Tobia takes the reader on a journey from their Methodist upbringing, to Duke University (which leaves them with mixed feelings), and, incredibly, to the White House to tell their story. For Tobia, the journey included a lot of bullying and misdirected rage before they came to accept their entire, authentic self. Fortunately for Tobia and the reader, they're able to write about it with dignity as well as self-deprecating humor.

The book delves into Tobia's struggles with identity, societal expectations, and the path to self-acceptance. Their writing style is breezy, engaging and, dare I say it, sassy; the content is candid and tackles the rather complex issues of being non-binary with a wisdom that belies their youth. It's rare that a memoir manages successfully to be so many things: funny, poignant, a call to action, accessible, and wise. Indeed, one of the book's main strengths is its accessibility; Tobia writes in a way that is relatable and easy to understand, making the concepts of gender fluidity and non-binary identity approachable for a wide audience. The memoir's structure, organized around key moments and themes in Tobia's life, allows for a cohesive and immersive reading experience. Tobia's vulnerability in sharing their journey allows outsiders to empathize and learn, fostering a greater understanding of what it means to live authentically in a world that often demands conformity. And failing that, Tobia would like to see drag queens tearing down Confederate monuments. I'm on board!