Roman Clodia's Reviews > Liars
Liars
by
This is a searing account of a toxic marriage, told in the first person by a narrator whose survival mechanism is to tell herself stories that things aren't so bad between her and her infuriating husband.
They're both liars but while he lies from ego, from convenience, by entitlement, her lies are more self-protective, a way of accommodating herself to the fantasies that culture still propagates to women: that we need a husband to be happy, that fulfillment comes from motherhood, wifehood and domesticity, that creative and artistic endeavours are some kind of selfish indulgence and that any woman who doesn't know and conform willingly to all this is psychologically sick and deserves to be institutionalized as 'crazy'.
Manguso's prose is restrained but can be shining-sharp, and she writes this in broken up fragments, a little like journal entries, the form of a woman who cannot even find the time and space to prioritize her own thoughts and feelings.
There's nothing radical in the way this book attests to the continued hierarchy of men's needs over women's; the ongoing power dynamic that comes from their superior earning power not least in the face of maternity; the struggle to control the narrative and whose story comes out on top. But Manguso doesn't bypass the complicity of women and the deep-seated desire to conform to the romantic fantasies with which we have been socialized.
One of the clever things about the narrative is the way, as readers, we're almost invited to blame Jane: the red flags are so obvious, so frequent; her husband's contempt so blatant, his power plays of withholding so clear - but one of the provocations here is to make us consider our own complacency and complicity, to empathize rather than to look on and ask why Jane puts up with this and why she doesn't leave him.
The important thing is that this is a frequently told tale and one that goes back through history: whatever progress has been made, there are disturbing continuities in the lives of women and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising living vicariously through Jane's married life!
One to file alongside A Room of One’s Own and Rachel Cusk's Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation.
by

In the beginning I was only myself. Everything that happened to me, I thought, was mine alone.
Then I married a man, as women do.
This is a searing account of a toxic marriage, told in the first person by a narrator whose survival mechanism is to tell herself stories that things aren't so bad between her and her infuriating husband.
They're both liars but while he lies from ego, from convenience, by entitlement, her lies are more self-protective, a way of accommodating herself to the fantasies that culture still propagates to women: that we need a husband to be happy, that fulfillment comes from motherhood, wifehood and domesticity, that creative and artistic endeavours are some kind of selfish indulgence and that any woman who doesn't know and conform willingly to all this is psychologically sick and deserves to be institutionalized as 'crazy'.
Manguso's prose is restrained but can be shining-sharp, and she writes this in broken up fragments, a little like journal entries, the form of a woman who cannot even find the time and space to prioritize her own thoughts and feelings.
There's nothing radical in the way this book attests to the continued hierarchy of men's needs over women's; the ongoing power dynamic that comes from their superior earning power not least in the face of maternity; the struggle to control the narrative and whose story comes out on top. But Manguso doesn't bypass the complicity of women and the deep-seated desire to conform to the romantic fantasies with which we have been socialized.
One of the clever things about the narrative is the way, as readers, we're almost invited to blame Jane: the red flags are so obvious, so frequent; her husband's contempt so blatant, his power plays of withholding so clear - but one of the provocations here is to make us consider our own complacency and complicity, to empathize rather than to look on and ask why Jane puts up with this and why she doesn't leave him.
The important thing is that this is a frequently told tale and one that goes back through history: whatever progress has been made, there are disturbing continuities in the lives of women and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising living vicariously through Jane's married life!
One to file alongside A Room of One’s Own and Rachel Cusk's Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation.
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Reading Progress
July 23, 2024
– Shelved
August 26, 2024
–
Started Reading
August 26, 2024
–
0.0%
"'In the beginning I was only myself. Everything that happened to me, I thought, was mine alone.
Then I married a man, as women do.'"
page
0
Then I married a man, as women do.'"
August 29, 2024
–
17.0%
"'He would decide whether I deserved relief. He would decide whether my pain even existed at all.'"
August 29, 2024
–
24.0%
"'My personality and life had been swallowed by motherhood, and every few days, my husband threw the fact that I didn't have a full-time job in my face. The work of caring for the baby was invisible to him.'"
August 31, 2024
–
47.0%
"'After bad things happen, it's good to hear from those who have survived them, but it's better if they don't say, You will get through this, too. That omission is the most comforting part. Don't ask me to take refuge in a lie.'"
August 31, 2024
–
50.0%
"'The only way to get the job is to be ten times better than the best man and likable, which means willing to absorb any amount of misogyny in any form from anyone with a smile on your face, forever.'"
August 31, 2024
–
83.0%
"'His energy was calm, and it had calmed me. But it wasn't the stillness of wisdom. It was the absence of empathy.'"
August 31, 2024
–
96.0%
"'Calling a woman crazy is a man's last resort when he's failed to control her.'"
August 31, 2024
–
99.0%
"'I remember how desperately I had to cling to the story of my happy marriage. It took effort. It felt so good to stop lying.'"
August 31, 2024
–
Finished Reading