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3.5 stars

This was not a light read. The ending is somewhat hopeful, but up until 99% of the book, you are pretty much worried this terrible time will somehow get worse. It discusses some heavy topics like grief, internalized homophobia, sexual assault, grooming, child abuse, intimate partner violence, colorism, poverty, and ableism. I think it's a story many could learn something from, but it really made for a unhappy reading experience. So, be warned about that.

The writing style is quite succinct and not super florid. While the story is quite angsty, it didn't feel melodramatic. Honestly, there were some scenes that went south quickly that were unexpected because the writing style was pretty matter of fact in its description of what was happening. There was only one point where the story buried a lead about one of Francine's bad experiences in high school that I found a tiny bit cheap in presentation, but the overall meaning of it was understood. It's a bit insane how many awful things she experienced before turning 30, but it created something for Jeannette to "bond" with her over.

I appreciated Kenji as a character a lot. Surprisingly, even in the first meeting where I'm sure the reader was meant to dislike her, I found her interesting. She exists to be one of the few people around Francine that didn't bully her when she didn't act as desired. I liked that her and partner were in the story to sort of serve as a baseline for normal relationships. I actually liked and felt sorry for Aunt Liane. I understood where she was coming from with Francine and her sister, but her way of trying to force them into being okay wasn't the answer. Uncle CJ was great, as well.

Davie is the real standout here. He's the catalyst for most of the events in this book and he becomes someone that makes Francine look outside herself. I find it a bit concerning she went from spending most of her life taking care of her mother to immediately signing on to take care of a child not long after her mother's passing. I'm a little surprised if her therapist thought that was a good idea. However, I did tear up at the end of the book.

Francine is a mess. I'm glad the book showed her seeing a therapist to try to unpack some of her issues. I also appreciated that I didn't feel the narrative wanted her to let sympathy for Jeannette's trauma incite unearned forgiveness. Jeannette suffered a lot, but that doesn't excuse her behavior. The fact that her son is going down a very harmful, worrying path was also sad to read, but again, Francine wasn't the solution to all their problems. I truthfully didn't understand what Francine saw in Jeannette that was desirable, but I chalked it up to her having to learn that she deserved better treatment from people. That's a lesson I think a lot of people would appreciate.

Tentative recommend, but be mindful of the trigger warnings and that I wouldn't personally describe this as a hopeful book. Up to 99%, it's still quite heavy.