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I'm glad you shared these feelings re: Lucy. I thought I was being cold because I couldn't feel any pity for her, either. She was just so self-centered and, as you said, a user.

The book is so fascinating for the very reasons you mention. In your opinion Lucy comes off as someone you feel couldn't possibly inspire the kind of friendship in Ann that she does. Yet Ann loves her deeply, and their friendship is powerful and moving for them both. Obviously there was something between them that was very profound, and I felt in reading this story that the relationship is sacred. I understand that there are times that Lucy comes off as unlikable, but people are complex-not black and white. Saying that Ann did not properly justify that fact that Lucy "had friends" seems odd to me. Is it Ann's job to justify that? Ann is very honest about Lucy's faults, and clearly loved her despite them.

Yes, with a memoir, I suppose the author's job is to "tell it like it is" vs. justifying something.

To Charlotte's point, I'm not sure all the relationships in the book are sacred. The relationship between Ann & Lucy might be, but I don't see sacredness in her other friends who come and go in various scenes.

Can you see any codependency between Lucy & Ann? That could explain such a lopsided relationship. We discussed this in our book group, too.

Maybe "justify" isn't the right word. Ann kept saying how Lucy would bring "truth & beauty" to things - but I felt it was never adequately illustrated how she did that. All of Lucy's letters did not reveal any sort of truth or beauty to me, except the instability of Lucy's emotional state. I did want deeper understanding of certain personal attributes within Lucy, and also within Ann - who is the most mysterious character in the book it seemed. Obviously Lucy had charisma, but I think there may have been something else about her that Ann had a hard time conveying in the written word. It did seem like Lucy used people, but it also seemed like these people didn't feel like they were being used. Maybe somehow Lucy's friendship was repayment enough. I was disappointed in how her life ended though. That was no "triumph of the human spirit."

Well put, Sandra. I too never saw how Lucy brought out the truth and beauty in things. Instead, she seemed to suck the life out o fhtose around her with her constant neediness and selfishness.

I agree that Lucy probably had some type of charisma that you just can't convey in words. Still, I just became more and more confused as I read. I kept waiting to see all the wonderful traits in Lucy that made Ann love her so much, but I never did see them.

I agree with Kelly, and had similar comments in my review. But I don't know that I believe Ann really loved Lucy; rather that she just was attracted by her charisma (or whatever Lucy's hold on her was). I think Ann just capitalized on Grealy's (much better written) memoir after Lucy died and couldn't speak for herself. I thought both of them needy, self-absorbed, quite horrible, really, and apparently incapable of making good decisions in regard to any of their relationships.

I think this book was written very one sided and felt like if she was a true friend she would not have put her in such a bad light while never really revealing herself.

I'm glad to see this thread. I can hardly stand how Lucy's super-needy portrayal.

Just so you know, "Autobiography of a Face" will NOT make you like Lucy Grealy any better. I read that one first, and found her self-pitying, arrogant, and stagnant as a character. She shows no growth as a person by the end of her autobiography, and I found all 200 pages absolutely exhausting.