Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Oh where to begin...


While reading...


Comparing this to the masterpiece that is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...um no sorry


I'm trying to think of a redeemable quality and I'm lost. I am shocked by the high average rating because this book was utter garbage. It feels like it was written by a kid not for a kid. I am a firm believer that children's books should be held to the same standard as adult books and the quality of this book is lacking, it feels empty and thrown together.

First there's the plot, which is boring. It seems like the author looked at a list of "Things Kids Like" and just threw a bunch of stuff into the hotel. What do kids like? ah sharks, got it! Ummm robots, ya totally! Gee, how about cakes? Yes, a whole cake room. Um rollercosters, ghosts, trains! Check, check, and check. As a result there is a complete lack of genuine creativity, imagination, and logic. Guess what, there was some method to Wonka's madness because at the end of the day he was churning out chocolate. How many rooms are booked at the Whippet...3....4? Even the basic details are off, um in what world do people hire 10 year-old children as bus boys?

The characters are incredibly flat, uninteresting, and cliche, in some cases even offensive. Our hero of the story, Leo is so boring and nothing like any 10-year-old boy I've ever met. Plus how can we look up to him or cheer him on when he really doesn't do anything. He never has to figure anything out for himself, he is constantly given step by step instructions and simply reacts to the events around him.

Then there are the women/girls in this story, they suck. All the living female characters are nasty, mean, selfish, and stupid. There are a few exceptions but they don't make this book any less sexist. Pillar the stereotypical Latina mother of Remy, Leo's idiot sidekick, could be considered an exception but she speaks in broken English, amounts to a nothing character, and doesn't exactly come across as a very loving or caring mother. The other exception would be the two dead mothers in this story who are of course elevated to saint status. Still they are dead and have no personalities, their main qualities include loving their sons and being sickly.

***Side note: The narrator for this audio book should never work again, all of his voices were horrendous, but especially the Spanish accents, Pillar sounded like an Indian with a speech impediment.***

Then there is Wonka Merganser who isn't a very likable character at all. (view spoiler)[ Aside from being very annoying and basically patronizing every single character in the book, I find the fact that he tricked Mrs. Pompadour extremely unethical. He knew that she was recently divorced and was left without a cent to her name and he still baited her by offering her money to sabotage the hotel. Um? What the hell? That isn't a very nice thing to do, and as for saying that her acceptance of the money was a betrayal of trust is outrageous. Hey Merganser, you disappeared, decided to play dress up, lied to Mrs. Pompadour and bribed her when you knew she was in desperate need of money. PLUS she is a fricken guest at the hotel why should she have any loyalty to you to begin with, you fricken nut. (hide spoiler)]

Basically, this whole book was a waste of time and that makes me very angry. I'll admit I picked it up because it was marketed as a Charlie and Chocolate Factory read-a-like, which it isn't. It is more like a bad reenactment where the places and names have been changed to protect the innocent. Yes there are similarities but no emotion or whimsy. Ready Player One did a great job taking Willy Wonka and making it new and fresh and different. This book however is one big FAIL.