Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Wow, Jane...I think Hannah missed your (very duly noted and appreciated by me) sarcasm. I completely agree with your review of the book.

Wow, I find your review ironic and comical. I actually loved the book, and would love to go on an adventure with an adventerous woman like the one Stasi speaks of, and not the male dominated female you speak of in your review. Your review almost seems to argue against the celebration of feminine beauty, which doesn't undercut a woman's capabilities but enhances them. Stasi divulges her own past in an honest and real way, and it didn't feel like her husband was standing over her with a club forcing her to write the material. At least they're attempting to understand what identity God has given them in creating man and woman, and not throwing up their hands saying, "welp I'm never really going to get it, so why try?" Is their attempt perfect, nope, but I appreciate the truths and application they gave me.

One of the things I liked best about this book is it managed to talk about beauty and romance without being chauvinistic. Although, I agree the part about women needing a spiritual "head" did come across that way.

There's still a lot in this book that spoke to me, though. It's not very P.C., but it's real.

I accidently voted I liked Jane's review of the book, because the vote at the bottom of her review is misleading, but I could not disagree with what she said more. Obviously, I am offering a male perspective on the book, but I found the book to offer insight on how men could better relate to women. A person will only find what he or she is looking for in a book. Truth is absolute and facts cannot be disputed. As for your quote, "I am tired of pop culture being repackaged as Christian truth." The view of the world God describes in the Bible is completely at odds with the "world view" and pop culture. Whenever you read something you should consider the source. If you do not believe in the Judeo-Christian God or the word of God, The Bible, why would you read a book written by an author who writes a book from this perspective.

Jane,

How unfortunate that you seem to have missed the point in this eloquent, affirming and very validating book - in fact; Elderidge is quite specific and very clear about the misinformed notion that we women need to wait 'for a man to rescue us from our sad-sack, self-esteemless lives' (Jane) by stating, amongst many other comments contradictory to your assertions; that, "You cannot take your Question [Am I beautiful etc] to Adam. You cannot look to him for the validation of your soul" (p. 375)

Further, Elderidge makes clear the mistake that most women make by saying "But so many women do" (p375) [take their need for validation to Adam (their partners)]. He also states very clearly that and man cannot do this by telling us that we are beautiful but that the supporting role that he plays in affirming God's spirit and grace in women. Elderidge highlights god's exultation, regard, respect and love for women as well as his continual romancing of their hearts and gently points them toward God for their ultimate validation - Not their male partners as you suggest - I am astomished that the grace message was apparently missed in your review and I truley hope other readers have the decernment to read the other contradictory comments here and read Captivating for themselves.

Elderidge has written a highly accessible and current account of God's message about his love for us and our need for him which exhualts both his awesome creation and our place in His heart as beautiful creatures of God.

We, as men and women, by Elderige's account, are praise and worship to God in our love for Him, while our love and prasie for and of each other, acts to affirm and validate the spirit of God in us: Man in righteousness in strength, protection and provision and woman's righteousness in beauty, passion, seduction 9as elderidge defines it). the coupling of men and women in their respective roles, mirrors those qualities of God, His unity as represented by our polarities an unity in togetherness: Holy matrimony.

I do hope you have another read Jane, the grace message is loud and clear - listen with your heart; the rationalism of the mind is the stronghold of fear that Elderidge is speaking to - the fear that prevents the heart from hearing God's everlasting courtship of us.

Dare to love and be loved.

God Blass,

Anna

The very first thing that struck me about this review is the misunderstanding of what "beauty" is. John and Stasi are pretty clear that the beauty they are speaking of comes from within. It is not about societal norms or men's perception of physical attractiveness - that would undermine the whole point of the book.

I would not want another book that tells me I have to fix the outside (lose weight, get a face lift...more makeup - less makeup, etc) to become beautiful. There is plenty of that around as it is.

Others here have addressed further issues much more eloquently than I ever could.

oops. accidently voted for Jane's review. haven't read the book yet but very interested, especially since people seem to disagree so strongly. uh, well, it's on my to-read list..

And here you've managed to highlight the difference between being asked to review something, and reviewing it by choice.

Everyone brings something to a book when they read it. I think because of your pre-concieved notions, this was not the book for you.

You seemed to have missed the sailient points of the book.

1. Women and men are supposed to work as a team.

2. Women don't want to be the end result of the adventure (be rescued by men), they want to be part of the adventure.

3. Women don't need men to tell them that they are beautiful, they have a creator to tell them that.

4. Women are hated by satan because they are a beautiful creation. Thus their self-esteem is constantly undermined.

If you had come to the book with an open mind, you would probably not have missed this.

I completely agree with Anna on this one!

Where does it tell us to wait to be rescued? From what I understand after reading both Captivating and Wild at Heart, men love adventure and so do women. But more than that, women love to be invited to adventure. I'm not waiting to be rescued. I'm living my own adventure, and I am excited for the man who will one day invite me into an entirely different adventure. You did read the whole book, right? What about the part that talks about woman as an ezer kenegdo, a lifesaver in a time of desperate need? As a woman, doesn't that excite you, make you feel like you have an important purpose and a great strength? Not only does that show the immense amount of strength women were created for, but it does imply that there are times when men need rescued too. The reason that there are two genders is that both are needed. We have different strengths and different weaknesses and we are made to work as a team. This in no way diminishes a woman's role or makes her inherently inferior. Just different. I think the world would be a better place if we could realize that differences (and not just gender differences) are good and necessary.

I believe the idea is not that we NEED some man to come sweep us off our feet, but that it's something we all, as women, desire. We want to be beautiful, we want to be loved and needed and cherished. Many girls are easily swept off their feet by men who simply call them beautiful.

Last paragraph beautifully put. This book scares me.

Ummmm I think this book is amazing! I was so ashamed of being a woman. I was a feminist in the wrong sense and this book tells me that Jesus will fight for me. He will captivate my heart. I don't hear anywhere, where it tells me a man does the action. Man at times may contend for me via prayer. But it's about me taking spiritual authority in Christ to contend for myself - he has fought and won the battle for me. Now I need to believe it and tackle those demons that tell me otherwise. It's not about making me more attractive to men - it's about me being more attractive to myself. Believing that I am enough in Jesus. Jesus is my hero and my knight in shining armour. He saved me. Did you know Jesus was a feminist? I've spent my life trying to be saved by others and I've ended up slaughtered and this book has got me close enough to Jesus (he is my husband) to believe I am loved. Brilliant. It's taken 41yrs!! And I'm still worth fighting for.

I started the book and couldn't relate at all to what the author was saying. I had heard it was a great book but I just couldn't finish it. However, I loved John Eldredge's book, "Waking the Dead."

I guess the bottom line is that it's best not to try to put people in the same box. Some just don't fit.

there is part in the book when john once thought something about how his wife being the lucky winner as the savior of his empty soul, and he meant it in a sarcastic way. what he meant is that, nobody can fill that empty part of us except God and so the same as to women. i wanted to point this out because the whole point of the book is not just about women being damsels in distress but women who could be beautiful by following what God wants her to do, her calling, or by simply being honest to herself. the book is not about women being saved my men but women saved by God.

Well, I got a whole different view from this book. Stasi isn't saying that we need a man to save us, she's saying that every little girl and women has a secret desire for this. She's also saying that we don't NEED a man, we complete a man, as a man completes us.

Nice review. Agree with you in some moments. Did you read books about spirituality without religion?

I agree with those saying "why would you even read this book if you don't believe in source and inspiration of why it was written." Kind of wrong on your part and makes your review invalid. Obviously you started the first page telling yourself this book is crap. To read and understand a book, you read it neutral, unbiased, and with the hopes of gaining knowledge. You can then begin to hate or like it along the way. The book was a great read to those who needed the reminder. It's not for someone trying to solve the world definition of beauty.

Padeedle wrote: "I agree with those saying "why would you even read this book if you don't believe in source and inspiration of why it was written." Kind of wrong on your part and makes your review invalid. Obvious..."

Hm... interesting opinion... Would like to ask did you read "a crossing or the drop's history" by Anatoliy Obraztsov?

Jane it sounds like you're not a Christian from your review. What lead you to read this if you're not?

It's clear from the first paragraph of your review that you didn't actually read this book properly, aside from the fact that you generally missed the point, you didn't even spell Stasi's name correctly!

I can't tell you how many times John and Staci repeated the premise look to God not men in the first three chapters, which is where I am at right now.
I can also tell you that I've started reading this book before. I didn't make it past chapter eight, it was too much for me to deal with emotionally at the time.
I am only three chapters into the book this time around and my first response is to ask, did you even read the book?
What chapter made you so angry that you viewed the entire book without really seeing it? I ask this because this is a pretty angry review.
If you think this is "repackaging" then make sure you are certain by using scripture (taken in context) to dispute it, and sorry the message version doesn't cut it. The message version of the bible is beautiful, but strongly paraphrased. That is repackaging. Sorry to be blunt, but my dad was a pastor and scriptural accuracy has been a big thing in my family since I was a kid.

I didn't like the book either. I though it was boring and repetitive and boring. I am more disturbed by the Christians assuming you didn't like the book because you aren't a Christian. A bad book is simply a bad book. I say to all the Non Christians, read all the Christian books you can get your hands on. Maybe somewhere along the way you will find one that you both enjoy and that speaks to your heart.

Jane (Jayne?) her name is Stasi not Staci. I had trouble working out if you got it wrong by mistake or for some other reason.

I very much enjoyed this book and John's 'Wild at Heart'.

Truthfully it sounds you didn't even read the Whole book, just the first chapter. Which is definitely not enough go on.

Wow. Jane you have missed the whole point of Captivating. Not sure I can rely on any of your other reviews since you seem to lack ability to review.

Self-knowledge, like all other forms of knowledge, is corrupted by our sinful nature. Our souls are a mystery to us. "Know thyself" comes from the Greeks. And the Bible? "Trust the Lord your God will all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding."

That part of your review got me. It's so true. I find the more I search on my own for these answers, the more questions I have. And then I wonder which author/pastor actually gets it completely correct. Not everything in this book is true and correct and good but many things are.

I thought the book was wonderful. I will not speak to your opinion, as we all have a right to have them. I totally get what you are saying in some regards. However, I do feel that it does speak to the souls of some. Not as a sad sack but as wanting the other half. Two whole souls finding each other. :)

Wondering if you even opened it at all.

"I'd much rather have my future husband save me with his salvific love than Jesus, with that whole death-on-the-cross-atoning-for-my-sin thing. What a bummer. And how violent! We women hate blood."

This is the most brilliant thing I've read on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. I have all the same complaints about this sorry excuse of a book that you do. I'm sorry for all the hate you got for this excellent and honest review. You're 110% right.

Hi! I've just started reading this book! I have no opinion cause I'm only on page 7. 😂

It's unclear to me if you are a Christ follower or not but I just want to put this out there. I just want to say that no book "get it right" other than scripture. Scripture is not just a book, it is truth. It's self-attesting. I recommend a book called Systematic Theology for a better understanding of what it means to be a Christian. It's more of a text book but has lots of answers to great questions about Christianity!

Most importantly I want you to know Jesus loves you dearly. The only way we all feel loved, appreciated, and valued is in Him and only Him. I am just entering a season of life where I am starting to revive this from Christ and it takes a lot of work, prayer, and grace from Him. It didn't happen over night! Ha!

I am praying for you Jane and I'm sorry if christians have hurt you or disappointed you some way. It will probably happen again cause we are sinners and can suck at times! 😂 I believe if you are truly searching for truth, it will come. 😘

Brooke wrote: "Hi! I've just started reading this book! I have no opinion cause I'm only on page 7. 😂

It's unclear to me if you are a Christ follower or not but I just want to put this out there. I just want to ..."

Hello, Brooke!

I can't speak for the OP, although her reference to the Saving Power of Christ Crucified makes me think she is. Anyway, I'm a Christian and I can explain why the book bothers some of us.

It deals very little with anything spiritual. It focuses much more on women's relationships with men and female friends than it does on God. Not that there's anything wrong with romance or friendship, but things must be in the right order. First God, then people. The book proports to put God first but spends a lot more time on hubby and the girl squad.

Also, not all women wanted to be princesses when they were little, and many who did have since moved on to more realistic goals. The Eldredges argue that not only do all women have the princess obsession deep down, but that those who claim they were never that girly are repressing memories of twirling in a tutu and singing "Someday My Prince Will Come" to Daddy.

A broad assertion like this is both arrogant and untrue. When I was little, I made believe I was an archaeologist digging in the Valley of the Kings or Pompeii. Today I like cute guys, dresses, and makeup just like most other young women. But as a small child I was oblivious to those things. Plenty of other girls are like me. According to the Eldredges' logic, we're freaks.

They don't understand men much better. Some guys honestly do not enjoy inflicting violence or identify with William Wallace. Some guys are more Hawkeye from M*A*S*H than Hawkeye from Last of the Mohicans. But the Eldredges don't think a fellow is a real man unless he likes to strangle deer with his bare hands or something.

They completely forget that Jesus was the gentlest man who ever lived.

Anyway, sorry for that long-winded answer. I know you just started the book and I'm not trying to poison you against it, just showing how someone can be a Christian and find it unhelpful.

Should I even bother reading it? I keep reading such awful reviews...

Svetlana H. wrote: "Should I even bother reading it? I keep reading such awful reviews..."

That's up to you, Svetlana! Either way I'd be curious to hear your thoughts :-)

Read Captivating about 11 years ago to help me better understand women & how they think! Thankful for Stacie writing it!

I tried reading this book
For the sole purpose of the title, it intrigued me. Once I realized where they were going, I didn't like it. I didn't like that women were categorized as a whole into these three groups. Not all women are alike and we don't all want the same thing. And not all men are how they were described. I think it may be time to stop looking for answers in a book, and just get in touch with God and yourself to find these answers.

Jane, how disappointing it is to see someone miss the message of this book so entirely. I don't even know where to begin. Your review sounds less like a reveiw and more like feminist propaganda. The book says none of the things you stated in your "reveiw." I really hope you consider rereading the book and actually trying to grasp the messages behind it.

Wow did you even read it? Lol

I think this reviewer hasn't read the book carefully, preferring to get carried away by her own indignation. There are numerous and explicit places in the book where the definition of beauty is discussed (as in NOT being about the physical) and in relation to men (ie. it's NOT about having oneself validated by a man).

I think this reviewer hasn't read the book carefully, preferring to get carried away by her own indignation. There are numerous and explicit places in the book where the definition of beauty is discussed (as in NOT being about the physical) and in relation to men (ie. it's NOT about having oneself validated by a man).

Jane l think you are a little confused. The book is about a woman getting her self worth from not man but from God. But if you are confused about what that means, please reread that book with the understanding that God is talking about you. This book is about what you mean to your Heavenly Father! I hope you will read it again with that in mind.

This only made we want to read it even more 😊

I read this book when I was an impressionable 18yr old, and even then I was offended by the chauvinistic theme of the whole thing. Seeing that it somehow has a 4 star review makes me realize how easily people are fooled by a nice cover photo. This book is dangerous to women.

A little late to the game, but I want to say that I wish I could like this 1 Million times. This book is awful and would be laughable if it was not so scary that people still think this way.

It seems this reviewer missed the point of the book. Which is a good discussion point in and of itself: is every person who picks it up and reads it going to understand it, or will some decide in advance what they think the book is going to say, and regardless of its actual message, only see what they want to see. This is one of those books, I will say to fully grasp what the authors are actually saying, you have to go into it with no pre-judgements or closed heartedness. Those things will prevent you from a full understanding of the concepts... which sounds like is what happened to several reviewers who have commented here.

I am disappointed with the commenters who think the reviewer is wrong in her opinions. YOUR way is not the ONLY right way to take this book. It’s very arrogant to say she missed the point and had an agenda. We are all differently made by God. We have all had different experiences. Woman that think they know best are the worst type of woman. Maybe the detractors missed the point? 🙄

Wow. It’s my opinion you missed the whole book but again it’s my opinion. What I read didn’t at all validate what you said. As in reading your comments I almost felt we read 2 separate books!

But this just wasn’t the one for you and that’s ok. 🥰. I accept your review as your opinion. Happy reading and I hope you find your spiritual life questions. If you have something left unanswered.

This book helped and is helping my marriage and well me know I don’t need a man! I have God and I am complete and whole made in his image.

If I’m in a relationship which I’m called to nurture (wife, friend, mother, daughter.... any relationship) I feel I can confidently, as a whole/complete individual, with God living inside of her make positive contributions. I don’t need anybody to fill my bucket.

Of me*** not of her...

Must not be a pretty lady writing this 😂

This reviewer didn’t read the whole book.