Addison's Reviews > X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga
X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga
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Addison's review
bookshelves: action-adventure, marvel-comics, crime-and-murder, read-in-2014, death-and-grief
Jul 03, 2014
bookshelves: action-adventure, marvel-comics, crime-and-murder, read-in-2014, death-and-grief
UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME: Fuck all y'all haters, I actually like Dazzler. I somehow forgot this was her debut. People are always like, "Haha Dazzler has the power of disco! How lame! Pfffft!"
Oh yeah, what's your mutation, bro? Fucking nothing? That's what I thought.
First off, THAT SHIT WOULD BE AWESOME. Damn, do you know how much joy you could bring people with that power? You are literally a walking ball of happiness and fun.
"Oh shit, you had a bad day? LET ME PUT ON A FANTASTIC LIGHT SHOW JUST FOR YOU, BRO."
Power outage? "FUCK THAT. LET'S PARTY. I'M THE GODDAMN DAZZLER."
Do you hate your neighbors? "THAT'S COOL, I'LL AIM MY AMAZING POWERS AT THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW WHILE THEY TRY TO SLEEP."
I feel like being able to summon my own fireworks would be a great treatment for my depression. You could even put on sunglasses and slowly walk away without looking backwards if you ever wanted to look cooler.
Secondly, her power is actually using sound and vibrations and turning them into various attacks (she even has a beam attack like Cyclops, except she can actually control her powers. Why do you never see people giving Cyclops shit?), WHICH MEANS IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SHE BLINDS YOUR ASS OR TURNS YOUR BRAIN IN JELLY VIA SONIC BLASTS.
Thirdly, does anyone else remember that kid in the Xmen movies (was it the third one? It was probably the third one because no one ever mentions that kid because we all tried to forget The Last Stand ever happened) who had the grand power of WRITING WITHOUT A PEN OR PENCIL? That motherfucker definitely has the most useless mutation ever but everybody has to rag on Dazzler cause she likes disco. Depending on your age, your Mom probably liked disco too, pal.
In short: COME AT ME.
Oh yeah, what's your mutation, bro? Fucking nothing? That's what I thought.
First off, THAT SHIT WOULD BE AWESOME. Damn, do you know how much joy you could bring people with that power? You are literally a walking ball of happiness and fun.
"Oh shit, you had a bad day? LET ME PUT ON A FANTASTIC LIGHT SHOW JUST FOR YOU, BRO."
Power outage? "FUCK THAT. LET'S PARTY. I'M THE GODDAMN DAZZLER."
Do you hate your neighbors? "THAT'S COOL, I'LL AIM MY AMAZING POWERS AT THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW WHILE THEY TRY TO SLEEP."
I feel like being able to summon my own fireworks would be a great treatment for my depression. You could even put on sunglasses and slowly walk away without looking backwards if you ever wanted to look cooler.
Secondly, her power is actually using sound and vibrations and turning them into various attacks (she even has a beam attack like Cyclops, except she can actually control her powers. Why do you never see people giving Cyclops shit?), WHICH MEANS IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SHE BLINDS YOUR ASS OR TURNS YOUR BRAIN IN JELLY VIA SONIC BLASTS.
Thirdly, does anyone else remember that kid in the Xmen movies (was it the third one? It was probably the third one because no one ever mentions that kid because we all tried to forget The Last Stand ever happened) who had the grand power of WRITING WITHOUT A PEN OR PENCIL? That motherfucker definitely has the most useless mutation ever but everybody has to rag on Dazzler cause she likes disco. Depending on your age, your Mom probably liked disco too, pal.
In short: COME AT ME.
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Reading Progress
July 3, 2014
– Shelved
July 3, 2014
– Shelved as:
to-read
August 12, 2014
– Shelved as:
action-adventure
August 12, 2014
– Shelved as:
marvel-comics
August 12, 2014
– Shelved as:
crime-and-murder
August 12, 2014
– Shelved as:
available-through-ill
August 26, 2014
–
Started Reading
August 27, 2014
– Shelved as:
death-and-grief
August 27, 2014
– Shelved as:
read-in-2014
August 27, 2014
–
Finished Reading
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message 1:
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Ryan
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rated it 2 stars
Feb 19, 2015 08:10PM

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