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Folderless Writers > The Last Message

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message 1: by An (new)

An Gel | 3 comments It hit her like an icy breeze, like a slap in her face that took her breath away. Her eyes immediately filled up, and her heart was beating wildly. She could barely move or utter a word. It was a completely unexpected, unbearable shock. All she could do on the spot was breathe deeply nd pray for composure. While she shared the room with two of her sisters, nd at the time she was spoken to, she was fully absent-minded, unmistakably broken hearted, and quite unable to believe what had happened. Trying to keep her tears at bay did not help lick her wounds, but rather it further poured salt on them. She had always maintained to hide her very deep emotions of sadness nd despair at the sight of anyone belonging to the circle of her family, more particularly. She was mighty successful at it, either. This time, however, was so very hard for her to bear. Her strange quietness, brief answers as well as the unusual impression of loss you get after one glance at her, revealed a lot about how sad and sorrowful was her soul. She knew she was deliberately finding flaw with everything about herself and finding very little to celebrate. She was feeling far from being alive, and her self-belief was at an all-time low. Not having a work to engross herself in, and not having someone to listen or even notice her pain added even more chagrin nd melancholy to her soft , broken heart. Going to bed, therefore, was her sole relief. Nothing could fully get her cries but the stillness of night. She, then, could freely be herself. She never needed to fight the urge to cry nor was she obliged to unwillingly keep faking her smiles. She could simply be unveiled from her daily, tiresome acting. "It wasn't a dream, it was life in its cruelest phase", she repeatedly murmured to herself. It was incredibly agonising. She often suffered from a physical pain in her heart, which began with the thought of having to go. Leaving was her one track mind since that very day. Three years passed and none of her wounds got fully healed. However, she learned to cope with her hurts, to accept the fact that not everybody would necessarily possess a caring , innocent heart like hers, and to definitely never ever expect anything from anyone ever existed on earth.


message 2: by Deanna (new)

Deanna Q Hi, Angel! Very heartfelt. I love the opening line! It may be beneficial to break up the telling with some showing of action. I think after a while I got lost in all the adjectives and kept looking for what is about to happen. I'd love to know the story behind the feeling.


message 3: by An (last edited Jul 14, 2015 06:11PM) (new)

An Gel | 3 comments Deanna wrote: "Hi, Angel! Very heartfelt. I love the opening line! It may be beneficial to break up the telling with some showing of action. I think after a while I got lost in all the adjectives and kept looking..."

Hi, Deanna! I'm glad you took the time to read and comment on the note i posted few hours ago. The title ,"The Last Message",was actually the heart of the story. It caused so much damage and led those very deep emotions of chagrin and loss to come into this sort of effect. As a matter of fact, It was a very hard goodbye. Cheers!


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