Okay, so I like this. I feel it has real potential as we are dropped into this rather bizarre and diverse mystery world. There is one thing though.
I feel the entrance into the fantasy world is too sudden. April finds the box and 'magical' orb far too soon. There should be more of an introduction of April maybe falling over boxes, finding stupid items which have no significance.
Otherwise I am really enjoying this story. I would love to read more. Keep the good work up and have a pleasant day!
I feel the entrance into the fantasy world is too sudden. April finds the box and 'magical' orb far too soon. There should be more of an introduction of April maybe falling over boxes, finding stupid items which have no significance.
Otherwise I am really enjoying this story. I would love to read more. Keep the good work up and have a pleasant day!