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That's fucked up on so many levels.
Christa wrote: "That's fucked up on so many levels."Yeah.
The ending has the heroine's mom giving the hero some papers - showing that his mom and little brother had looked for him for the rest of their lives. The witch kept him for 150 years (until he and his friends escaped).
She also cursed the heroine with the "black widow curse" that forced her to kill any man she loved. If she killed 5 then she'd lose her soul.
Why? Because the witch wanted to create a super black widow curse that she would infect all women with. And she thought this was a good thing.
Witches always think up things they think are a great idea. Like wanting to be the 'fairest of them all.' It is much easier to just drug up the really hot guy instead of removing all the rest of the women. Seriously, think things through witches. Think things through.
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "Witches always think up things they think are a great idea. Like wanting to be the 'fairest of them all.' It is much easier to just drug up the really hot guy instead of removing all the rest of th..."lololol!! Maybe you should have wrote this book.
Wasn't there a Pratchett quote about not wanting witches to get bored and start thinking up their own amusements?
Christa wrote: "Wasn't there a Pratchett quote about not wanting witches to get bored and start thinking up their own amusements?"Well he sure would have wanted to talk to this one. This chick was more than a little batshit crazy.
There was just SO MUCH batshit crazy going on. O_O
Certainly lazy. Certainly lazy.From The Wee Free Men
“Witches are naturally nosy,� said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.�
“Will it cost me anything?�
“What? I just said it was free!� said Miss Tick.
“Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,� said Tiffany.
Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,� she said, “Are you listening?�
“Yes,� said Tiffany.
“Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...�
Ԩ?�
�...and believe in your dreams...�
Ԩ?�
�...and follow your star...� Miss Tick went on.
Ԩ?�
�...you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.�
The bored quote:“A witch who is bored might do ANYTHING.
People said things like 'we had to make our own amusements in those days' as if this signified some kind of moral worth, and perhaps it did, but the last thing you wanted a witch to do was get bored and start making her own amusements, because witches sometimes had famously erratic ideas about what was amusing.�
lolololol
LOL! Thanks for finding that! :)
Christa wrote: "LOL! Thanks for finding that! :)"^What she said.
Totally using it in my review!
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "The bored quote:“A witch who is bored might do ANYTHING.
People said things like 'we had to make our own amusements in those days' as if this signified some kind of moral worth, and perhaps it d..."
what book is this in? Wee free men?
From what I can tell it is from a short book THE SEA AND LITTLE FISHES .
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "From what I can tell it is from a short book THE SEA AND LITTLE FISHES .":D
I am honoured to be thought of as a friend. I liked the review. I don't know that you need to go into the ending. I would lose "The ending has..." paragraph as too much of a spoiler and I don't like the word basically. I'd rewrite the "The book is basically about..." paragraph. I just had to try to rewrite that paragraph. I don't think it's your style, but this is what I got out of it.
Executive summary: witch is madly in love with renowned-assassin husband who leaves her because, well, assassin groupies? Who would have thought? On this way out he accidentally kills his daughter and her husband.
Take home lesson: never marry fame.
I use colons way too much. Maybe I love mine.
Nice review! I do like Homey's phrase "assassin groupies". But I also like "got a bunch of bitches" because alliteration is badass.
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "I am honoured to be thought of as a friend. I liked the review. I don't know that you need to go into the ending. I would lose "The ending has..." paragraph as too much of a spoiler and I don't lik..."I <3 the words "basically" and "actually." And my friends basically and actually want to wring my neck when I use those words, lol.
So, basically you're going to ignore me. :)All is good.
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "So, basically you're going to ignore me. :)All is good."
Actually, I'm not. I just find it funny that almost everyone comments on that, lol.
How's this:The "bad guy" and plot catalyst in Kiss At Your Own Risk is a witch who is madly in love with her renowned-assassin husband who leaves her because, well, assassin groupies/basic bitches. And he accidentally killed his daughter & her husband on his way out.
The "bad guy" and plot catalyst in Kiss At Your Own Risk is a witch who is madly in love with her renowned-assassin husband who leaves her because, well, assassin groupies are basically a bunch of basic bitches. And he accidentally killed his daughter & her husband on his way out.I really liked the B B B alliteration.
I do, too.LOL!
I should tell you where i got it from. There's this rap song by this chick who dresses a bit like 1986 Madonna. She has a song named "Gucci, Gucci."
The hook:
Gucci, Gucci
Louie, Louie
Fendi, Fendi
Prada
Basic bitches wear that shit
So I don't even bother
My favorite part is:
Which means nobody getting over me
I got the swag and it's pumping out my ovaries
ROFL!!! I immediately googled. Catch song. :D
The lyric "pumping out my ovaries". O_o
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "The lyric "pumping out my ovaries". O_o":-D
lololol!
I know I'm too old for rap...but when they put out zingers like that...how can a girl resist??
Christa wrote: "ROFL!!! I immediately googled. Catch song. :D"It's all in your head, isn't it.
I know you'll be singing the hook later tonight...
Oooh, gosh! Another WTF did I just read. I need advice: I need to edit down the excerpt I have quoted here but I just can't figure out how to get it to a lower word count while still showing all the juicy W.T.F. that was happening.
(view spoiler)
**snort** I have nothing constructive to say, but thanks for the laugh! :D
lol!No way to trim that excerpt down any? It's a few pages long, lol.
But the writing. O_O Whole book is like that. I spent $1...but I was still a little PO'd...
Maybe snip out the part about holding up traffic and pulling off to the side of the road? Or replace the less WTFish parts with your own comments describing those bits. Or something.
Homeinmyshoes wrote: "I lost it at the name Clytie."hahahahah!! I hate that name, too. Hate.
When we talked about witches I thought about Ghosts in the House which we took out of the library for my son.The laughs he had when she put the ghosts into the washing machine and then dried them on the line and hung them up as curtains were awesome. This book gets a huge thumbs up for me.
That looks pretty adorable. I love the blurb.
I know I'm late to the party, but I just found this! Lol!! :D
lolI read the weirdest crap.
When is a good time to toss in the towel on a book you actually want to like?
When you find yourself distracted by the irritation / disappointment.
MrsJoseph wrote: "When is a good time to toss in the towel on a book you actually want to like?"As soon as you start skipping to get it over with..
Or if you find yourself avoiding reading because of it.
I generally think when you've read a quarter of a book and it's not caught your attention it might be time to stop reading.
Huh. Guess that I'm about there.I'm reading The Felig Chronicles and i really want to like it because the author is incredibly cool. From my interactions with her.
But I am not feeling the writing. It sorta feels like she's working from an outline that said "and then this happened" so she elaborated on that part and then moved to the next part.
Ah... I guess it's not likely to improve then, if that's her writing style? :(
DoodlePanda wrote: "Ah... I guess it's not likely to improve then, if that's her writing style? :("IDK. Not in this book - but this seems to be part 1 of (3? 4?) so maybe in the latter books. But I will miss her writing growth cause I'm not buying.
I was originally a dumbass for paying $4.99 for this less than 200 page book.
:(I can see why you did though, if you think the author is cool. Makes you think that the book will be cool too!
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Books mentioned in this topic
The Felig Chronicles (other topics)Ghosts in the House! (other topics)
Kiss at Your Own Risk (other topics)
One of the books suggested to me by the rec engine was Kiss at Your Own Risk
It looked like something I'd read for a chuckle and some good action so I read it.
O.M.G.
So much WTFery going on here.
- Not like that "weird shit wednesday" stuff, lol -
More like "Is this author fucking with us?"
The explanations about world building did not happen.
AND
The book is basically about this witch who was madly in love with her husband - a renowned assassin - who left her one day because he was renowned and got a bunch of bitches. And he accidentally killed his daughter & her husband.
So the witch decides that the only way to make men into "good people" worthy of a woman was to take them [boys] as children and torture them for years and years and years. In a place she called the Den of Womanly Pleasures. Basically she killed them off but a few survived.
And the book also had all these adults with crazy ass black magic problems who were sold to the witch as children by their parents. Which is heartbreaking.
But what is worse is that its a comedy and that isn't funny.