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share jokes or riddles here!

I thought this was really funny:

Father (looking at son's report card)-- Do you know George Washington was at the head of his class when he was your age?
Son-- Yes, but he was President of the United States when he was your age, pop.

Oh that’s funny! 😂

This is one of my favorites:

There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off how many are left?

- 499.

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

- Open fridge, put an elephant in, close fridge.

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge?

- Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?

- The giraffe because he's stuck in the
fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely, how?

- The alligators are all at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyways. Why?

- She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

I have trees but no wood
I have rivers but no water
I have houses but no people
Who am I?

(view spoiler)[A map 😉 (hide spoiler)] I’ve heard this one many times before. Lol

God said to David, Come forth and receive eternal life.

*sigh* 😔

But David came fifth and got a toaster.

🤣🤣🤣

(I completely forgot about this thread! 😂)

The Atheist And The Bear

One day, an atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all the beauty that the “accident of evolution�� had created.

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!�� he said to himself.

As he strolled alongside the flowing river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.

There he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging toward him!

The man screamed in horror and ran as fast as he could away from the giant bear��

As the bear's shadow fell over him, the man tripped and fell to the ground��

Feeling the hot breath of the terrifying bear on his neck, the man rolled over. The bear loomed large over him, raising its fierce paws to strike him dead.

As the bear's shadow fell upon his face and its paws came down upon his chest, the atheist screamed, “Oh help me, God!��

Time stopped.

The river he loved suddenly stopped flowing...

The trees stopped swaying��

The bear froze.

Then a bright light beamed down upon the man, a voice boomed all around him, “I am God, and even though you don't believe in me, I am here for all beings on this earth.��

The atheist felt relieved and confessed to God, “I'm in a situation and wonder if you would get me out of it.��

“You deny my existence your whole life, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a ‘cosmic accident'. Yet still, you ask for my help. Am I to count you as a new believer?��

The atheist looked directly into the light and replied, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?��

“Very well,�� said the voice. The light went out. The river resumed running. And the sounds of the forest returned.

Then the bear dropped down from its terrifying stance, clasped its paws tightly together... bowed its head and spoke:

“Thank you, Lord, for this meal which I am about to receive. I am truly grateful. Amen.��

😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

Omg no that’s terrible and hilarious 😂 😭