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August 2024 Book of the Month


Know My Name by Chanel Miller

Rated 4.70 | 209,161 ratings | 28,964 reviews | As of August 2024

ŷ������ Choice Award Nominee for Best Memoir & Autobiography (2019)

Publisher's Summary
She was known to the world as Emily Doe when she stunned millions with a letter. Brock Turner had been sentenced to just six months in county jail after he was found sexually assaulting her on Stanford’s campus. Her victim impact statement was posted on BuzzFeed, where it instantly went viral–viewed by eleven million people within four days, it was translated globally and read on the floor of Congress; it inspired changes in California law and the recall of the judge in the case. Thousands wrote to say that she had given them the courage to share their own experiences of assault for the first time.

Now she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words. It was the perfect case, in many ways–there were eyewitnesses, Turner ran away, physical evidence was immediately secured. But her struggles with isolation and shame during the aftermath and the trial reveal the oppression victims face in even the best-case scenarios. Her story illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicts a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable, and, ultimately, shines with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful life.

Know My Name will forever transform the way we think about sexual assault, challenging our beliefs about what is acceptable and speaking truth to the tumultuous reality of healing. It also introduces readers to an extraordinary writer, one whose words have already changed our world. Entwining pain, resilience, and humor, this memoir will stand as a modern classic.

Started the book. I'm an audiobook fan--95% of what I read--and this book is narrated by the author, Chanel herself. Her story of being sexually assaulted on the Stanford campus by a student-athlete was sensationalized by the media into national headlines, and here she has effectively taken back the narrative, turning the lens to her view ... on what happened, ... and on them. She doesn't mount a soapbox, and doesn't take up a mission to return fire. She is not the picture of a fighter punching back. She is simply an innocent girl telling her story. She majored in Literature and long aspired to be a writer. Surely, she never aspired to this particular topic, but like many trauma victims, ... how could they think about anything else?

Just finished chapter 1. No idea what the rest will say. Not trying to guess. Just sharing. Sexual assault trauma just is what it is:
������ the assault itself
������ if "sought", a crime scene investigation team "in your pants", sans pants
������ if "sought", a "he said"/"she said"/"every-other-pronoun said" frenzy
������ if "sought", a legal sh*@$-show with mercenary pros there to contest truths
������ someone blaming the victim
������ a lifetime supply of intrusive thoughts
������ thoughts looking both ways crossing your mind: flash-back & fear-forward

I recall: headlines, hearing that it happened, he was a potentially Olympic caliber swimmer, denials, fixation on her intoxication, the affirmative consent law, the victim impact statement that went viral, the conviction, the sentence, and general outrage over a very short sentence.

������ victim impact statement:
������ 60 Minutes episode:

Chapter 1 recounts that fateful day from her perspective. Her sister returns home for the weekend, taking a break from her studies at a college a few hours away, and they go out for a night of fun ... and then she comes to. She doesn't know what happened. She is surrounded by strangers, and doesn’t know where she is. People are not very forthcoming. She had drank too much alcohol, and blacked out �� while still on her feet. She is still not thinking clearly, but is piecing together bits of information, and coming to ... realizations.

Thanks for this review of the start, Steve.

I’m 1/3rd through.
This is book moves very S L O W.

It is rated at 4.7, which is astonishingly rarified high-rating territory for ŷ������ in general. Granted, there is survival bias. Mostly it is those who finish the whole book who rate it, not those who abandon. Those who do make it cover to cover, and it is a large number, will surely have quite a passion about the topic. How can you not rate it 5 stars if someone has the courage to tell such a story so publicly? That being said, I’d put money on 1/2 of the raters simply rating it and posting their 5-star rating as a show of solidarity or �� whatever it is they get out of being seen on social media posting such things without having read them.

In any case, it is slow, and that makes it hard to get through. That’s a 1-star deduction from me.

It is literally slow in narration. I listen to it comfortably at 2X speed, and that helps on that front.

The story itself is also very slow, except the first chapter. At this point, I’d say there is quite a bit to be gained if you just read the first chapter or two. You could stop there, and still get quite a bit out of it.

The slowness is multifaceted, but as an example, the writing style seems to enumerate the color and texture of numerous items in numerous settings. What is the color or character of the carpet, the wall, the couch, the magazines on the table. How do all of these things make her feel. Is it necessary to go into such depth to recount a room she sat in at the courthouse, briefly before entering the courtroom? No, not really in terms of what happened, and yes to convey how she felt about all of it. That is what it’s all about. How it feels to go through it. I think trauma memories are a deep sensory experience, where time dilates (slows way down) and you internalize the 8K high definition image, smell, sound, tactile feel, emotions, intellectual reasoning, and maybe even taste of every moment. Arguably, she was blacked out during the sexual assault trauma itself, but in reality, the whole circus show is the trauma, cumulatively. The dilation of time and extreme details aren’t necessarily internalized for the next 3 years after an incident. So the extreme detail is arguably not essential. But if time flies when you’re having fun, time can be glacial when you’re not. And, she definitely conveys this, whether it was necessary or not. So it drags, and you get the sense that the darkness has grown to fill the whole room and the whole horizon—her mind, body, and soul. Fair enough. An honest portrayal of what life is like going through all aspects of the trauma and it’s fallout. That being said, �� it is hard to stay with this book as glacially slow as the story evolves.

Trauma Book Rule #1: Keep it mercifully short.

Do NOT go for a comprehensive textbook that covers everything possible. Write 3 volumes if needed, but keep each volume mercifully short. We already struggle from will it never end syndrome.

Did you make it cover to cover through ��
Judith Herman’s book? No.
Pete Walker’s book? No.
Perry & Oprah’s book? Yes.
There’s a reason.

Okay. First, love your writing style. Second, I wish now I had asked you to read my book's final draft before I published. You make some excellent points in this critique that could apply to my writing. Thank you!

Catherine Ada wrote: "Okay. First, love your writing style. Second, I wish now I had asked you to read my book's final draft before I published. You make some excellent points in this critique that could apply to my wri..."

Thanks. My long comment breaks my own rule.
Came down with COVID that day and was grumpier than usual.

Chapter 5 has the first day in court.

Chapter 6. She notes the incongruence of her spending only 1 day giving testimony in court while feeling as though what happened to her a year prior has permeated virtually every moment of her life every day in the last year.

Ch 7. More court. She mentions “death breathing on her�� after sitting on the sidewalk while a train passed by. This seemed a little dramatic. She speaks of going to buy things at multiple stores. OK, slow going. Describes how to a bagel shop and seeing the “beige circles��. I can’t imagine writing such a book. But I could imagine an editor doing a better job. A book has to be successfully endured to accomplish the intended goal.

Ch. 4? She mentions going to the East coast somewhere and while doing a fair amount of walking, being often approached by strangers �� men �� trying to talk to her. There is a good bit on this where she likens this to walking down the street with a sandwich in your hands and having various strangers all coming up commenting on your sandwich and demanding a bite or to hand it over. That bit was well done.

Finished Ch.7 and I’m done. Gave 2 months to the effort. I couldn’t finish this book. Not too dark or heavy. Just going nowhere in particular really slow. The first 2 chapters may be worth a read, and the bit about people walking down the street wanting your sandwich.

This book is how she felt about what happened. I don’t recall at any point through Ch. 7 that there was any mention of a therapist, reading books, attending support groups, or anything of that nature.