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“I cut my eyes to the alley. Ranger was still there, doubled over the steering wheel, shaking with laughter.”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“Mrs. Morelli opened the door to us and smacked Joe on the side of the head. "Sex fiend. Just like your father, God rest his rotten soul."
Morelli grinned down at his mother. "It's a curse.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn.â€� “She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn’t enough action.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“What's he doing?" Mary Lou asked. "What's he doing?"
"Getting a spoon. I was was right-he went out to buy ice cream."
The light blinked out, and Morelli disappeared. Mary Lou and I scuttled across Morelli's backyard and squinted into his window.
"Do you see him?" Mary Lou asked.
"No. He's disappeared."
"I didn't hear the front door open."
"No, and he's got the television on. He's just out of sight somewhere."
Mary Lou crept closer. "Too bad he's got the shades pulled on his front windows."
"I'll try to be more considerate next time," Morelli said, standing inches behind us.
Mary Lou and I yelped and instinctively sprang away, but Morelli had both of us by the back of our jackets.”
― Janet Evanovich, High Five