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“Dear Anyone Who Finds This, Do not blame the drugs.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“No matter what, expect the unexpected. And whenever possible BE the unexpected.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“It is true that I am a person with black pockets of evil and hatred in my heart. There are underground places inside of me”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“But when the thing that is scaring you is already Jesus, who are you supposed to pray to?”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“Twinkle twinkle little star. You are nothing. You've been dead for a thousand years...”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“Ask a burning question, get a burning answer”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“A man who has been dead for a week in a hot trailer looks more like a man than you would first expect.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“I am hell with a knife and there is nothing I can really do about it but try and keep my mouth shut and try not to let it show.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“What if she stepped on a needle and it went right into her foot and Roberta would not feel it and the needle would rise and rise and rise through the veins leading up to the heart and then the needle would STAB HER IN THE HEART and Roberta would DIE and it would be VERY PAINFUL this according to nurse mother a medical expert on Freaky Ways to Croak... The mother shouted that she knew several people who died from the Rising Stab of the Unfelt Needle or RSUN she has seen cases of it many times and not ONE PERSON HAS SURVIVED IT.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“Mr. Harmong is the cheapest chintziest most pig-lipped tightwad skanked-out lardo king landlord of all time.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“In the night when the moon is large, the world spreads blue in every direction.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“I stared out the window and watched the land change like it had a mental illness. Dead and barren became spinach, chard and cabbage glittering with the pulsing spray from long-wheeled irrigators, and then a dead stockyard with knocked down fence posts and a collapsed ramp and then a dumping ground for junk cars and raw garbage with turkey buzzards circling overhead and then sudden low orchards, peaches it looked like, with migrants reaching into scraggly trees with dirty pick-sacks slung over their shoulders. And then it was barren again, looking quite scorched, and then we arrived.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“They sky was streaked with the marks of sundown. A jet trail glowed in the ugliest pink. My eyes felt raw. The Windowpane had twisted time so badly. The day had seemed a minute long but in that minute my life uncoiled.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“We crossed a wide river and then everything changed. There were no more fields, no houses, no trees, not even telephone poles. Even the colours were gone, all of them except brown and grey and blue of the late-afternoon sky. The world got emptier and emptier until it looked like a brown ocean of dead velvet, just emptiness covered with short dry grass and low scrub.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“In the days of Rohbeson’s Slaughterhouse, flies were everywhere, crawling up the walls like living designs. I used to fall asleep looking at them. Thinking about their world. Their society. Did they have kings? Did they steal from each other? My light fixture was black-full with bodies of them. I used to think they had feelings about certain people. People who noticed them. Certain people. Me.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“They sky was streaked with the marks of sundown. A jet trail glowed in the ugliest pink. My eyes felt raw. The Windowpane had twisted time so badly. The had seemed a minute long but in that minute my life uncoiled.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“I am someone who can look at certain things without flinching. Certain dead people. Particular dead people. But I cannot look at the creatures.”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy

“Some nights looking at him scares me so bad I can hardly move and I start doing a prayer for protection. But when the thing that is scaring you is already Jesus, who are you supposed to pray to?”
― Lynda Barry, Cruddy