Sign in with Facebook
Rogue Quotes
Rogue
by
Gina Damico2,910 ratings, 4.04 average rating, 401 reviews
Rogue Quotes
Showing 1-30 of 43
“You going to let him talk to me like that?� Driggs said to Lex. “Defend my honor, woman.�
“Defend your own honor,”
― Rogue
“Defend your own honor,”
― Rogue
“She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn’t make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO!”
― Rogue
― Rogue
“Off flew his shirt, which landed on an outstretched arm of the ceiling fan. 'Beats me. God, is there a padlock on this thing?'
'It's not rocket science, Driggs. It's a bra.'
'It's a Rubik's cube of diabolical proportions, is what it - ha! Suck it, evil underwear!' Triumphant, he flung the unfastened conundrum across the room [...]”
― Rogue
'It's not rocket science, Driggs. It's a bra.'
'It's a Rubik's cube of diabolical proportions, is what it - ha! Suck it, evil underwear!' Triumphant, he flung the unfastened conundrum across the room [...]”
― Rogue
“It's a timeline!' Elysia exclaimed.
'Thanks, Captain Obvious,' said Ferbus.
Elysia glared at him. 'Thank you, Captain Overused Expression.'
'No, thank you, Captain Shut Your Facehole.”
― Rogue
'Thanks, Captain Obvious,' said Ferbus.
Elysia glared at him. 'Thank you, Captain Overused Expression.'
'No, thank you, Captain Shut Your Facehole.”
― Rogue
“Ferbus assumed a hyperventilating position, his hands on his knees. 'Oh no,' Skyla said, concern splashing across her face. 'Is he anemic? Clinically asthmatic?'
'No,' Uncle Mort said, thwacking Ferbus on the head as he started climbing the stairs. 'Just lazy.'
'Clinically lazy!' Ferbus wheezed.”
― Rogue
'No,' Uncle Mort said, thwacking Ferbus on the head as he started climbing the stairs. 'Just lazy.'
'Clinically lazy!' Ferbus wheezed.”
― Rogue
“Not even the tallest mountain of raccoon droppings could ever get in the way of my love for you.'
'That might be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.'
'It's Shakespeare. One of the sonnets.”
― Rogue
'That might be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.'
'It's Shakespeare. One of the sonnets.”
― Rogue
“Uncle Mort glanced at Pandora, then back at the Juniors. "Okay, kids. Brace yourselves. And try not to yell too much."
Elysia's hand tensed on Lex's arm. "I hate it when he says that," she whispered.
Uncle Mort gave them a sympathetic smile. "Remember that old chestnut about the wickedest Grim of all time?"
He pounded on the roof. Grotton's head popped down through the ceiling, a snaky grin stretching from ear to ear.
The screams were so loud, Dora nearly drove into a tree”
― Rogue
Elysia's hand tensed on Lex's arm. "I hate it when he says that," she whispered.
Uncle Mort gave them a sympathetic smile. "Remember that old chestnut about the wickedest Grim of all time?"
He pounded on the roof. Grotton's head popped down through the ceiling, a snaky grin stretching from ear to ear.
The screams were so loud, Dora nearly drove into a tree”
― Rogue
“Ghosts can't become solid, Lex thought. Ghosts can't throw cheese balls!
And then: That might be the weirdest sentence I've ever thought.”
― Rogue
And then: That might be the weirdest sentence I've ever thought.”
― Rogue
“Hey, I have an idea,� Lex said. “Give me a sec.�
He kept trying. “Idea as in ‘good idea,� or idea as in ‘let’s take the Ferris wheel, everyone, I’m sure it’ll be a carefree ride of thrills and delights and whimsy’—�
“Does this help?�
Driggs opened his eyes and, in the space of a yoctosecond, popped right into a solid body. Lex half expected to hear a wacky boing sound effect.
She grabbed his arm to keep him that way, while he kept on staring at her bare chest. “So,� he said, swallowing, “good idea, then.�
“Thank you.�
He pulled her close and gave her a kiss. “And thank you for sparing me your devil corset.�
She held it up and waved it in his face. “It’s a standard bra, Driggs. From, like, Target.�
“Satan employs many disguises.�
“Like you’re from the Land of Superior Underwear. Let’s see what sort of designer boxers you’ve chosen to grace my presence with today.� She unzipped his pants and looked. “Dude. Penguins?�
“Um, penguins are officially recognized as the most adorable bird on the planet,� he said, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. “What’s wrong with penguins?�
“NdzٳԲ—�
“And igloos. See their little igloos?�
Ԩ—�
“The Santa hats are a bit much, I’ll give you that, but they were a Christmas present, okay? And if I’d known that I was going to die while wearing them and be forever doomed to their Arctic quirkiness—and of hypothermia, too, how’s that for irony—�
“Driggs,� she interrupted, grabbing his chin and boring her eyes into his. “I thought we were on a tight time frame here.�
“Right.� He scratched his head. “I think that perhaps, since I’m talking way too much, there is the slightest chance that I might be a tiny bit nervous.�
Lex smirked. “Relax, spaz.�
“Oh, no way. You do not get to use that against me.”
― Rogue
He kept trying. “Idea as in ‘good idea,� or idea as in ‘let’s take the Ferris wheel, everyone, I’m sure it’ll be a carefree ride of thrills and delights and whimsy’—�
“Does this help?�
Driggs opened his eyes and, in the space of a yoctosecond, popped right into a solid body. Lex half expected to hear a wacky boing sound effect.
She grabbed his arm to keep him that way, while he kept on staring at her bare chest. “So,� he said, swallowing, “good idea, then.�
“Thank you.�
He pulled her close and gave her a kiss. “And thank you for sparing me your devil corset.�
She held it up and waved it in his face. “It’s a standard bra, Driggs. From, like, Target.�
“Satan employs many disguises.�
“Like you’re from the Land of Superior Underwear. Let’s see what sort of designer boxers you’ve chosen to grace my presence with today.� She unzipped his pants and looked. “Dude. Penguins?�
“Um, penguins are officially recognized as the most adorable bird on the planet,� he said, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. “What’s wrong with penguins?�
“NdzٳԲ—�
“And igloos. See their little igloos?�
Ԩ—�
“The Santa hats are a bit much, I’ll give you that, but they were a Christmas present, okay? And if I’d known that I was going to die while wearing them and be forever doomed to their Arctic quirkiness—and of hypothermia, too, how’s that for irony—�
“Driggs,� she interrupted, grabbing his chin and boring her eyes into his. “I thought we were on a tight time frame here.�
“Right.� He scratched his head. “I think that perhaps, since I’m talking way too much, there is the slightest chance that I might be a tiny bit nervous.�
Lex smirked. “Relax, spaz.�
“Oh, no way. You do not get to use that against me.”
― Rogue
“Hope there isn’t anyone below us.�
“If so, they’re already asleep. I mean, I’d already be asleep if you weren’t licking my ear. Why are you licking my ear?�
Lex retrieved her tongue. “Because I feel like something awful is going to happen tomorrow. And I’m really hoping it doesn’t involve my grisly demise, or an even grislier demise for you than your last one, but—� She swallowed. “I want this night to be a happy one, because I think they’re going to be in short supply from now on.�
“Yeah, but—� He glanced behind them. “With four friends, one uncle, one Pandora, and a comatose museum curator within hearing range?�
“Good point.� Lex nodded thoughtfully, as if they were debating tax reform. “However: this.� She grabbed his hands and slapped them onto her chest.
His eyes bulged, then met hers. “Compelling rebuttal.�
Lex grinned and dove back into his face while Driggs’s hands reached around her back. “Ah, the over-shoulder boulder holder,� he said in a sneering voice, picking at her bra. “My old nemesis.�
“Okay, don’t panic,� Lex said. “Do it just like we practiced.�
“Right. The hook faces out.�
“The hook faces in.�
ഡѲѱ.&ܴ;
― Rogue
“If so, they’re already asleep. I mean, I’d already be asleep if you weren’t licking my ear. Why are you licking my ear?�
Lex retrieved her tongue. “Because I feel like something awful is going to happen tomorrow. And I’m really hoping it doesn’t involve my grisly demise, or an even grislier demise for you than your last one, but—� She swallowed. “I want this night to be a happy one, because I think they’re going to be in short supply from now on.�
“Yeah, but—� He glanced behind them. “With four friends, one uncle, one Pandora, and a comatose museum curator within hearing range?�
“Good point.� Lex nodded thoughtfully, as if they were debating tax reform. “However: this.� She grabbed his hands and slapped them onto her chest.
His eyes bulged, then met hers. “Compelling rebuttal.�
Lex grinned and dove back into his face while Driggs’s hands reached around her back. “Ah, the over-shoulder boulder holder,� he said in a sneering voice, picking at her bra. “My old nemesis.�
“Okay, don’t panic,� Lex said. “Do it just like we practiced.�
“Right. The hook faces out.�
“The hook faces in.�
ഡѲѱ.&ܴ;
― Rogue
“Lex poked Elysia. “The relationship is going well, it seems.�
Elysia’s face erupted with worry. “Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry. It just sort of . . . happened. We were in that hotel for so many days, just waiting around to hear word from Croak, waiting for Mort to figure out a way to rescue you guys. And Wicket and Lazlo not letting us leave, we just went a little stir-crazy and—omigod, I must seem like such a bad friend, and all while you were still stuck in that awful jail and poor Driggs and—�
“Lys,� Lex said, taking her by the shoulders before she could launch into a full-blown monsoon of tears. “It’s fine. I think we’ve all learned a thing or two about taking happiness where you can get it. Plus . . . you know. It’s about time.�
“About time? What do you mean?�
“I mean you two have been itching to get into each other’s pants since the dawn of earth.�
Elysia looked shocked for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know what I’m thinking,� she said, staring back and forth between her mostly uneaten sandwich and Ferbus. “He’s gross. He’s mean. He’s ugly. He’s a lousy drunk, he’s the biggest nerd on the planet, he looks like a leprechaun, his hair is the color of Cheetos—�
“And you luuurve him.�
Elysia scowled and crossed her arms. “And I lurve him.”
― Rogue
Elysia’s face erupted with worry. “Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry. It just sort of . . . happened. We were in that hotel for so many days, just waiting around to hear word from Croak, waiting for Mort to figure out a way to rescue you guys. And Wicket and Lazlo not letting us leave, we just went a little stir-crazy and—omigod, I must seem like such a bad friend, and all while you were still stuck in that awful jail and poor Driggs and—�
“Lys,� Lex said, taking her by the shoulders before she could launch into a full-blown monsoon of tears. “It’s fine. I think we’ve all learned a thing or two about taking happiness where you can get it. Plus . . . you know. It’s about time.�
“About time? What do you mean?�
“I mean you two have been itching to get into each other’s pants since the dawn of earth.�
Elysia looked shocked for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know what I’m thinking,� she said, staring back and forth between her mostly uneaten sandwich and Ferbus. “He’s gross. He’s mean. He’s ugly. He’s a lousy drunk, he’s the biggest nerd on the planet, he looks like a leprechaun, his hair is the color of Cheetos—�
“And you luuurve him.�
Elysia scowled and crossed her arms. “And I lurve him.”
― Rogue
“Ferbus rammed his hands over his ears. "Floating head is loud," he complained. "Make stop.”
― Rogue
― Rogue
“Lex was about to ask what in the dickens that was supposed to mean, but then Uncle Mort nodded at Wicket in a secretive manner, which roughly translated as 'Screw you and your curiosities, Lex. We're telling you NOTHING.”
― Rogue
― Rogue
“Maybe sometimes you have to topple a secret empire that’s been around for centuries in order to save one that’s been around forever.”
― Rogue
― Rogue
&ܴ;?�
Ԩ?�
“There’s a bug in your hair.�
“Even better.�
She gave him another quick peck, then looked in the mirror to investigate her hair. “Shit,� she said, her eyes opening wide. “Don’t move.�
“Why, are you sticking to the leather seat? Because I am all kinds of sticking to the leather seat, in places that I didn’t even know about—�
“No. Slightly bigger problem,� she said, still frozen. “Uncle Mort: staring. Us: very naked.�
“Crap.� Driggs tried to wipe his face clean of saliva, though there was a sizable amount. “Think he can see us?�
“He’s not a dinosaur, Driggs. His vision doesn’t depend solely on movement.�
“Okay, you really need to stop basing your entire knowledge of dinosaurs on what you learned in Jurassic Park.”
― Rogue
Ԩ?�
“There’s a bug in your hair.�
“Even better.�
She gave him another quick peck, then looked in the mirror to investigate her hair. “Shit,� she said, her eyes opening wide. “Don’t move.�
“Why, are you sticking to the leather seat? Because I am all kinds of sticking to the leather seat, in places that I didn’t even know about—�
“No. Slightly bigger problem,� she said, still frozen. “Uncle Mort: staring. Us: very naked.�
“Crap.� Driggs tried to wipe his face clean of saliva, though there was a sizable amount. “Think he can see us?�
“He’s not a dinosaur, Driggs. His vision doesn’t depend solely on movement.�
“Okay, you really need to stop basing your entire knowledge of dinosaurs on what you learned in Jurassic Park.”
― Rogue
“I’ll fix it,� she said for the billionth time. “I’ll send him to the Dark, I swear.�
“But what if it doesn’t work?� He looked so worried. “I’ve barely been able to live this way for a week; how am I going to do it for eternity?�
“It will work,� she said, this time with more force. “Are you seriously calling into question my ability to kill things? Me?� She grinned and switched to a demonic voice, raising her arms like claws. “THE MOST POWERFUL GRIM IN THE WORLD?�
Driggs stared at her. Then he laughed.
And that happened to be Lex’s favorite sound on the planet. “Driggs?�
Ԩ?�
“You can still try to make yourself solid, right?�
“Yeah. If Norwood does anything to your parents, I’ll—�
“My parents can handle themselves. Dad’s a big, burly guy and Mom was a former Grim, for shit’s sake. If this really is your last night on earth, we’re going to make it a good one.� She got up from the swing, walked across the moonlit yard to the junk car, and patted its door. “Hop in.�
Driggs eyed the bullet hole inches from her hand. “Hop in . . . to the Cracktastic Deathmobile?�
Lex tapped the frame impatiently. “I was thinking Hump Buggy, but sure. Whatever you want.�
The smile that broke through Driggs’s face lit up the yard.”
― Rogue
“But what if it doesn’t work?� He looked so worried. “I’ve barely been able to live this way for a week; how am I going to do it for eternity?�
“It will work,� she said, this time with more force. “Are you seriously calling into question my ability to kill things? Me?� She grinned and switched to a demonic voice, raising her arms like claws. “THE MOST POWERFUL GRIM IN THE WORLD?�
Driggs stared at her. Then he laughed.
And that happened to be Lex’s favorite sound on the planet. “Driggs?�
Ԩ?�
“You can still try to make yourself solid, right?�
“Yeah. If Norwood does anything to your parents, I’ll—�
“My parents can handle themselves. Dad’s a big, burly guy and Mom was a former Grim, for shit’s sake. If this really is your last night on earth, we’re going to make it a good one.� She got up from the swing, walked across the moonlit yard to the junk car, and patted its door. “Hop in.�
Driggs eyed the bullet hole inches from her hand. “Hop in . . . to the Cracktastic Deathmobile?�
Lex tapped the frame impatiently. “I was thinking Hump Buggy, but sure. Whatever you want.�
The smile that broke through Driggs’s face lit up the yard.”
― Rogue
“Someone’s going to recognize us,� Lex said to Uncle Mort without looking at him or moving her lips.
“No, they’re not,� he said, staring forward, keeping the same straight face. “The guards aren’t even watching.�
He was right. What few guards were left in the lobby were scattered, disorganized. They shouted for the citizens to remain calm, all the while sounding fairly panicked themselves. No one knew what had happened, as the only witnesses were now casually strolling toward the front door without a single eye looking their way.
Until the receptionist let out a shriek. “There they are!�
Uncle Mort let out a huff of defeat. “Mar-lene,� he whined. “I thought we were cool.�
“So much for the Wink of Trust,� Lex said.”
― Rogue
“No, they’re not,� he said, staring forward, keeping the same straight face. “The guards aren’t even watching.�
He was right. What few guards were left in the lobby were scattered, disorganized. They shouted for the citizens to remain calm, all the while sounding fairly panicked themselves. No one knew what had happened, as the only witnesses were now casually strolling toward the front door without a single eye looking their way.
Until the receptionist let out a shriek. “There they are!�
Uncle Mort let out a huff of defeat. “Mar-lene,� he whined. “I thought we were cool.�
“So much for the Wink of Trust,� Lex said.”
― Rogue
“We have to get to a hospital,� Elysia said, straining under the weight of Ferbus. “We’re losing him.�
“Your FACE is losing him,� Ferbus confirmed.”
― Rogue
“Your FACE is losing him,� Ferbus confirmed.”
― Rogue
“Well, go in,� said Pandora. “It’s open to the public.�
“So, for once, we won’t have to destroy private property,� Uncle Mort said, opening the door. “Look how far we’ve come, gang—�
A shriveled, bony fist punched him in the face.
Since there wasn’t much force behind the blow, however, it just sort of shoved him off balance for a second. Uncle Mort rubbed his cheek, as if he’d been stung by a mosquito. “Ow.�
“Don’t you dare come in here!� a little man in a bow tie and suspenders yelled. He stared out at them from behind a pair of humongous old-man glasses, his wispy white hairs quivering as he shouted. When the Juniors came in anyway, he got even angrier. “Don’t you dare take another step!� They took another step. “Don’t you dare—�
“Turlington!� Pandora blared, holding up a balled fist of her own. “You shut that pie hole of yours or I’ll stuff it with a hearty slice of knuckle cobbler!�
“Knuckle cobbler?� Lex whispered to Driggs.
“Good name for a band,� he replied.
The man almost fainted. “Pan—Pandora?�
“Damn straight!� She puffed out her chest and trapped him up against the wall. “Now, you’re going to let these friends of mine bunk here for the evening, and you’re going to be real nice and real pleasant about it, and above all, you’re not even going to think of ratting us out. Got it?�
“Yes, yes,� he said, shaking. “Whatever you need. I think I might even have some pillows and blankets left over from the last overnight camp, in the closet behind the—�
Pandora karate-chopped the side of his head.
The Juniors watched as he went down like a sack. “What’d you do that for?� Uncle Mort asked once the poor man stopped twitching.
“He would have ratted,� Pandora said with confidence. “Old Turly was my partner for a brief stint back in our younger days. Thick as thieves, we were. But he’s a squirrelly bastard, I know that much.�
“So are you,� Uncle Mort pointed out.
“That’s why we were such good friends!�
Uncle Mort stared at her for a moment more, then rubbed his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Make yourselves at home, kids. Just step right on over the unconscious senior citizen.”
― Rogue
“So, for once, we won’t have to destroy private property,� Uncle Mort said, opening the door. “Look how far we’ve come, gang—�
A shriveled, bony fist punched him in the face.
Since there wasn’t much force behind the blow, however, it just sort of shoved him off balance for a second. Uncle Mort rubbed his cheek, as if he’d been stung by a mosquito. “Ow.�
“Don’t you dare come in here!� a little man in a bow tie and suspenders yelled. He stared out at them from behind a pair of humongous old-man glasses, his wispy white hairs quivering as he shouted. When the Juniors came in anyway, he got even angrier. “Don’t you dare take another step!� They took another step. “Don’t you dare—�
“Turlington!� Pandora blared, holding up a balled fist of her own. “You shut that pie hole of yours or I’ll stuff it with a hearty slice of knuckle cobbler!�
“Knuckle cobbler?� Lex whispered to Driggs.
“Good name for a band,� he replied.
The man almost fainted. “Pan—Pandora?�
“Damn straight!� She puffed out her chest and trapped him up against the wall. “Now, you’re going to let these friends of mine bunk here for the evening, and you’re going to be real nice and real pleasant about it, and above all, you’re not even going to think of ratting us out. Got it?�
“Yes, yes,� he said, shaking. “Whatever you need. I think I might even have some pillows and blankets left over from the last overnight camp, in the closet behind the—�
Pandora karate-chopped the side of his head.
The Juniors watched as he went down like a sack. “What’d you do that for?� Uncle Mort asked once the poor man stopped twitching.
“He would have ratted,� Pandora said with confidence. “Old Turly was my partner for a brief stint back in our younger days. Thick as thieves, we were. But he’s a squirrelly bastard, I know that much.�
“So are you,� Uncle Mort pointed out.
“That’s why we were such good friends!�
Uncle Mort stared at her for a moment more, then rubbed his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Make yourselves at home, kids. Just step right on over the unconscious senior citizen.”
― Rogue
“But what does any of this have to do with anything?� Ferbus said. “So Grotton broke the world, and now it’s our job to maintain it. We raised the frickin� bird ourselves, and it’s big and strong and has, I don’t know, really majestic feathers. What’s the big deal?”
― Rogue
― Rogue
“I don’t get it,� Lex said to Uncle Mort, propelling herself through the air. “Why all these elaborate simulations? And why are the targets so far away from the starting point? When we scythe in to actual targets, they’re always right there in front of us. And time is frozen—and our hoodies protect us from the elements—so why use real fire, real everything?�
“Because the human mind is a tricky little bastard,� Uncle Mort said. “When Grims are thrown into scary situations, their brains still tell them to panic, despite the fact that there is really no need. If the training procedures force you to concentrate on the task at hand while being bombarded with danger from every direction, you’ll be all the more levelheaded when you’re actually in a safe environment.�
“Ah. That makes sense, I guess.�
“Of course it does. I came up with it.�
“With what?�
He gestured at their surroundings. “This.�
“Wait, wait,� said Ferbus. “You designed this?�
“Designed it, no. I don’t know what kind of situations these sadistic Necropolitans have cooked up in the time since I first mentioned it. But it was my idea to establish a training program in the first place.�
“Then why don’t we have one in Croak?� Lex asked.
“We do.� He smirked. “You’re looking at him.”
― Rogue
“Because the human mind is a tricky little bastard,� Uncle Mort said. “When Grims are thrown into scary situations, their brains still tell them to panic, despite the fact that there is really no need. If the training procedures force you to concentrate on the task at hand while being bombarded with danger from every direction, you’ll be all the more levelheaded when you’re actually in a safe environment.�
“Ah. That makes sense, I guess.�
“Of course it does. I came up with it.�
“With what?�
He gestured at their surroundings. “This.�
“Wait, wait,� said Ferbus. “You designed this?�
“Designed it, no. I don’t know what kind of situations these sadistic Necropolitans have cooked up in the time since I first mentioned it. But it was my idea to establish a training program in the first place.�
“Then why don’t we have one in Croak?� Lex asked.
“We do.� He smirked. “You’re looking at him.”
― Rogue
“Driggs, you go out and watch for a break in traffic. Once it’s clear, give the signal, and we’ll scramble onto the escalator as quickly and as quietly as we can.�
“Are you nuts?� said Lex. “People are going to recognize us!�
He withdrew his hand from his bag, something golden glinting between his fingers. “Not with this.�
“The bubonic football?� Lex said. “What are we going to do, sneeze them to death?�
“Oh, if only our paltry weapons were as destructive as Lex’s diabolical wit,� Uncle Mort countered, deadpan.
“I’d say diabolical wit is something that runs in the family,� said Pandora.
“Don’t forget the superiority complexes,� Ferbus added.
“And the bossiness!� Pip threw in.
Uncle Mort cleared his throat. “As fun as it might be for us to all sit here and pick apart all the delightfully whimsical foibles of the Bartleby family, we’ve kind of got a war to fight here, remember? Let’s go do that”
― Rogue
“Are you nuts?� said Lex. “People are going to recognize us!�
He withdrew his hand from his bag, something golden glinting between his fingers. “Not with this.�
“The bubonic football?� Lex said. “What are we going to do, sneeze them to death?�
“Oh, if only our paltry weapons were as destructive as Lex’s diabolical wit,� Uncle Mort countered, deadpan.
“I’d say diabolical wit is something that runs in the family,� said Pandora.
“Don’t forget the superiority complexes,� Ferbus added.
“And the bossiness!� Pip threw in.
Uncle Mort cleared his throat. “As fun as it might be for us to all sit here and pick apart all the delightfully whimsical foibles of the Bartleby family, we’ve kind of got a war to fight here, remember? Let’s go do that”
― Rogue
“Cordy,� Uncle Mort interjected, “helpful things. Please.�
“Sure, yeah,� Cordy said, still staring at her honeybunch’s biceps. “What do you want to know?�
“You can see into all the windows, right? What’s going on?�
“Well, ever since that alarm went off, everyone’s been going schizoid. The place is swarming with guards—all looking for you, I assume?�
They nodded.
“Well done. I think so far you’ve thrown them, but . . .� She looked up. “They’re all over the place, especially the next few floors.�
“Residential.� Uncle Mort nodded. “That’s where they’ll be thickest. What about near the top, in Executive?�
Cordy shrugged. “I don’t know—the windows are blocked to us for the uppermost twenty floors or so. Sorry.�
“Damn, she’s good.� The sparkle in his eye left little doubt that he was talking about Skyla. When Lex looked offended, he crossed his arms. “Hey, if we were defending this building instead of attacking it, you’d be very impressed right now.�
Cordy pointed at him and gave Lex a questioning look.
“Uncle Mort has a girlfriend,� Lex explained.
“Whaa?� Cordy said.
“Don’t even ask. It’s beyond our powers of human comprehension.�
“GDz!�
“They even have a weird pool table euphemism for the dirty stuff.�
“Super gross!�
“Here’s an idea, Cordy,� Uncle Mort said, his irritation barely contained. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and keep a lookout for us?�
Cordy pouted. “Fine.� She leaned in to Lex and pointed back at her uncle. “I want to hear more about the lovefest later.�
“You really don’t.”
― Rogue
“Sure, yeah,� Cordy said, still staring at her honeybunch’s biceps. “What do you want to know?�
“You can see into all the windows, right? What’s going on?�
“Well, ever since that alarm went off, everyone’s been going schizoid. The place is swarming with guards—all looking for you, I assume?�
They nodded.
“Well done. I think so far you’ve thrown them, but . . .� She looked up. “They’re all over the place, especially the next few floors.�
“Residential.� Uncle Mort nodded. “That’s where they’ll be thickest. What about near the top, in Executive?�
Cordy shrugged. “I don’t know—the windows are blocked to us for the uppermost twenty floors or so. Sorry.�
“Damn, she’s good.� The sparkle in his eye left little doubt that he was talking about Skyla. When Lex looked offended, he crossed his arms. “Hey, if we were defending this building instead of attacking it, you’d be very impressed right now.�
Cordy pointed at him and gave Lex a questioning look.
“Uncle Mort has a girlfriend,� Lex explained.
“Whaa?� Cordy said.
“Don’t even ask. It’s beyond our powers of human comprehension.�
“GDz!�
“They even have a weird pool table euphemism for the dirty stuff.�
“Super gross!�
“Here’s an idea, Cordy,� Uncle Mort said, his irritation barely contained. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and keep a lookout for us?�
Cordy pouted. “Fine.� She leaned in to Lex and pointed back at her uncle. “I want to hear more about the lovefest later.�
“You really don’t.”
― Rogue
“His eyes were getting that intense look again, so Lex tapped him on the shoulder. “So,� she said loudly, “what’s our next move?�
He blinked a couple of times. “Well, it should be slightly easier to move now that it’s getting on toward nighttime. Fewer people around, less likely we’ll be spotted. On the other hand, things will be much quieter, and with you elephants stomping around, there’s a greater chance of someone hearing us—�
“Hang on,� said Elysia. “We’re not stopping for the night?�
Uncle Mort paused to stare at her. “We’re a little pressed for time here, Lys.�
“Yeah, but—� She looked to Ferbus for help. “It’s just that we’re kind of, um, exhausted.�
“And hungry,� Ferbus added.
“And some of us really have to pee,� said Pip.
Pandora raised two fingers. “And other things.�
Uncle Mort irritably ran a hand through his hair. “So what are you saying?� he asked. “You want to camp out for the night? Where do you propose we do that?�
“Well, obviously we can’t stay here,� said Lex.
“But we can’t leave until we know where we’re going—�
“For cripes� sake, enough with the drama!� Pandora said, blowing past him. “Everything is a crisis with you people. Stairs are hard, that tunnel’s too small, my sister died—sack up already! You really want somewhere to sleep?� She flung the front door open. “Come on. I know a place.�
***
“The National Museum of Grimsphere History?� Elysia said, reading the sign before them.
“OH no,� Ferbus said. “We’re not going to have to learn things, are we?�
“And risk pushing out the space in your brain devoted to basic motor skills?� Pandora said. “Heavens, no.”
― Rogue
He blinked a couple of times. “Well, it should be slightly easier to move now that it’s getting on toward nighttime. Fewer people around, less likely we’ll be spotted. On the other hand, things will be much quieter, and with you elephants stomping around, there’s a greater chance of someone hearing us—�
“Hang on,� said Elysia. “We’re not stopping for the night?�
Uncle Mort paused to stare at her. “We’re a little pressed for time here, Lys.�
“Yeah, but—� She looked to Ferbus for help. “It’s just that we’re kind of, um, exhausted.�
“And hungry,� Ferbus added.
“And some of us really have to pee,� said Pip.
Pandora raised two fingers. “And other things.�
Uncle Mort irritably ran a hand through his hair. “So what are you saying?� he asked. “You want to camp out for the night? Where do you propose we do that?�
“Well, obviously we can’t stay here,� said Lex.
“But we can’t leave until we know where we’re going—�
“For cripes� sake, enough with the drama!� Pandora said, blowing past him. “Everything is a crisis with you people. Stairs are hard, that tunnel’s too small, my sister died—sack up already! You really want somewhere to sleep?� She flung the front door open. “Come on. I know a place.�
***
“The National Museum of Grimsphere History?� Elysia said, reading the sign before them.
“OH no,� Ferbus said. “We’re not going to have to learn things, are we?�
“And risk pushing out the space in your brain devoted to basic motor skills?� Pandora said. “Heavens, no.”
― Rogue
“The next twelve hours in the Stiff were decidedly less than pleasant. After several heated rounds of the License Plate Game, Pip decided to invent the Flick Ferbus in the Ear Game, which soon became the Ferbus Yells So Loud He Bursts Eardrums Game. Elysia yelled at him for yelling at Pip, causing Pandora to yell at everyone. “Shut the hell up or I’ll wrap this car right around a tree, and don’t you think for a second that I won’t!�
“But he’s flicking me!� said Ferbus.
Uncle Mort turned around in his seat. “Are we in preschool, Ferb? Is he breathing on you, too?�
“Actually, he is. And he still won’t give me credit for spotting the Alaska plate first.�
“Because you didn’t spot the Alaska plate first,� said Pip.
“PIP, I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY I WILL POP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND EAT THEM WITH A SIDE OF YOUR LEFT—�
“Enough!� Uncle Mort yelled.”
― Rogue
“But he’s flicking me!� said Ferbus.
Uncle Mort turned around in his seat. “Are we in preschool, Ferb? Is he breathing on you, too?�
“Actually, he is. And he still won’t give me credit for spotting the Alaska plate first.�
“Because you didn’t spot the Alaska plate first,� said Pip.
“PIP, I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY I WILL POP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND EAT THEM WITH A SIDE OF YOUR LEFT—�
“Enough!� Uncle Mort yelled.”
― Rogue
“Any of you ever been to Disney World?�
Ferbus gave her a harsh look and pointed around the circle at each Junior. “Foster kid, orphan, foster kid, disowned—�
“Okay, so no,� she said. “But perhaps you’ve heard of the place.”
― Rogue
Ferbus gave her a harsh look and pointed around the circle at each Junior. “Foster kid, orphan, foster kid, disowned—�
“Okay, so no,� she said. “But perhaps you’ve heard of the place.”
― Rogue
“You know what? I’m not going to bother with excuses,� she said to Uncle Mort. “I don’t know what I just did, but I’m a hundred percent sure I wasn’t supposed to do it, so let’s just skip over the scolding for now, and you tell me what’s going on and we’ll all go from there.� His stern face didn’t go away. “Sound coolsies?”
― Rogue
― Rogue
“A twitchy nose popped up underneath her hand, near the rim of the portal. “They’re like this all the time. I can’t bear it any longer. I can’t and I shan’t!�
“Edgar!� Lex’s face melted into a grin as she lowered her hand. “Oh, man. I’ve missed you.�
Edgar Allan Poe smoothed out his frock coat. “Yes. Well. Your absence has been noted as well. I’m left to fend for myself with these simpering nincompoops.�
“Hey, Poe,� said Tut. “Your mustache is showing!� He smiled a jockish grin and gave Cordy a high-five.
“I know my mustache is—that’s not even a joke—� Edgar’s lip quivered. “You see what I mean? It seems the presidents have taught him the ever-popular sport of Torture the Poet. Oh, yes. Taught. Him. Well.”
― Rogue
“Edgar!� Lex’s face melted into a grin as she lowered her hand. “Oh, man. I’ve missed you.�
Edgar Allan Poe smoothed out his frock coat. “Yes. Well. Your absence has been noted as well. I’m left to fend for myself with these simpering nincompoops.�
“Hey, Poe,� said Tut. “Your mustache is showing!� He smiled a jockish grin and gave Cordy a high-five.
“I know my mustache is—that’s not even a joke—� Edgar’s lip quivered. “You see what I mean? It seems the presidents have taught him the ever-popular sport of Torture the Poet. Oh, yes. Taught. Him. Well.”
― Rogue
