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“aprendemos que los flashbacks pueden causar que olvidemos que nuestros aliados probados todavía son de hecho fiables.”
― Pete Walker, Tep complejo: De sobrevivir a prosperar

“crippling state of self-attack, which eventually becomes the equivalent of full-fledged self-abandonment. The ability to support himself or take his own side in any way is decimated.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“It is crucial for deeper level recovery that we learn that feelings of fear, shame and guilt are sometimes signs that we have said or done the right thing. They are emotional flashbacks to how we were traumatized for trying to claim normal human privileges.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Holotropic Rebirthing and Reichian therapy employ special breathing techniques to help free stuck emotions.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Mindfulness is a perspective of benign curiosity about all of your inner experience.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“This is essential because without a properly functioning ego, you have no center for making
healthy choices and decisions. All too often, your decisions are based on the fear of getting in trouble or getting abandoned, rather than on the principles of having meaningful and equitable interactions with the world.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“One common sign of being flashed-back is that we feel small, helpless, and hopeless.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“need.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“addictive distraction that plagues modern industrial societies is a result of people being taught and forced to reject, pathologize or punish so many of their own and othersâ€� normal feeling states.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“strive to accept the existential fact that the human feeling nature is often contradictory and frequently vacillates between opposite polarities of feeling experiences.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“The Tao of Fully Feeling, and it was written as an appeal to the general public to understand the consequences of trying to sanitize one’s emotions.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“As I am writing this, my son’s friend synchronistically tells him: “This Lego creature I made spreads brain attack and eats away at the person.â€� I marvel at this synchronicity and think: “What a fitting image for the trauma-inducing parentâ€�.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Similarly, effective recovery is unwinding the natural potential you were born with out of your unconscious. This is your innate potential which may be, as yet, unrealized because of your childhood trauma.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Resentment that should have been directed toward my parents often boomeranged onto me and spoiled or thwarted my efforts at self-nurturance.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“attachment disorder in which she bonded with TV rather than with a human being. Sadly, she is still lost in that relationship living on disability in an apartment cluttered with an enormous amount of useless hoarded material.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“The key point is that these labels are incomplete and unnecessarily shaming descriptions of what the survivor is actually afflicted with.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“As a survivor becomes more adept at angering and crying, fear of his feelings will decrease, and opportunities to learn to simply feel will present themselves.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Reciprocal verbal ventilation is the highway to intimacy in adult relationships. Sufficient practice with a safe enough other brings genuine experiences of comforting and restorative connection. For me and many of my clients, such experiences are more alleviating of loneliness than we had ever thought possible. Nowhere is this truer than with mutual commiseration. Mutual commiseration is the process in which two intimates are reciprocally sympathetic to each other’s troubles and difficulties. It is the deepest most intimate channel to intimacy â€� profounder than sex. Mutual commiseration also typically promotes a spontaneous opening into many levels of light-hearted and spontaneous connecting.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Verbal ventilation is the key way that people make friends. It parallels the way tender touch, soothing voice, and welcoming facial expressions helps infants and toddlers establish bonding and attachment. When we practice the emotionally based communication of verbal ventilation in a safe environment, we repair the damage of not having had this need met in childhood. This in turn opens up the possibility of finally attaining the verbal-emotional intimacy that is an essential lifelong need for all human beings. Committing to this type of practice typically requires courage and perseverance. Authentic sharing can be triggering, and sometimes flashes the survivor back to being punished or rejected for being vulnerable. Therapy, individual or group, can help greatly to overcome and work through these obstacles to vitalizing your self-expression.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“there’s something else, something quite beautiful.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Many survivors are so identified with the critic that it becomes their whole identity. Such survivors typically need to focus on fighting off the critic until they have established the healthy ego function of self-protection.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Many Cptsd survivors flounder in caustic judgmentalness, shuffling back and forth between pathologizing others [the toxic blame of the outer critic] and pathologizing themselves [the toxic shame of the inner critic]. They get stuck in endless loops of detailing the relational inadequacies of others, and then of themselves.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“The outer critic typically arises most powerfully during emotional flashbacks. At such times, it transmutes unconscious abandonment pain into an overwhelmingly negative perception of people and of life in general. It obsessively fantasizes, consciously and unconsciously, about how people have or could hurt us. Over the years these fantasies typically expand from scary snapshots into film clips and even movies. Without realizing it, we can amass a video collection of real and imagined betrayals that destroy our capacity to be nurtured by human contact.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“The outer critic is the counterpart of the self-esteem-destroying inner critic. It uses the same programs of perfectionism and endangerment against others that your inner critic uses against yourself. Via its all-or-none programming, the outer critic rejects others because they are never perfect and cannot be guaranteed to be safe.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“A typical indication that the critic has mellowed into being functional is that it speaks to us in a kind and helpful voice. It reminds us dispassionately to adjust our behavior when we can and ought to be doing something better.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“We can re-hijack the anger of the critic’s attack, and forcefully redirect it at the critic instead of ourselves. We can then silently and internally say “No!â€� or “Stop!â€� or “Shut Up!â€� to short-circuit drasticizing and perfectionistic mental processes. Angrily saying “No!â€� to the critic sets an internal boundary against unnatural, anti-self processes. It is the hammer of self-renovating carpentry that rebuilds our instinct of self-protection.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Thought-stopping is the process of using willpower to disidentify from and interrupt toxic thoughts and visualizations”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“I have worked with numerous “well-therapizedâ€� people who were relatively free from perfectionism, but still seriously afflicted with the critic’s addiction to noticing potential danger. Said another way, I have seen survivors eliminate much of their perfectionist, self-attacking thinking without realizing that the critic was still flooding their minds with fear-inducing thoughts and images.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Advanced flashback management, then, involves learning how to manage the disconcerting experience of falling asleep feeling reasonably put together and waking up in a flashback. Typically this occurs because a dream has triggered you into a flashback. If you remember the dream, you can sometimes figure out why it triggered you. With growing mindfulness you may even understand which events from the previous day triggered your dream.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“As so often happens in a flashback, she temporarily lost access to her post-childhood knowledge and understanding. This appears to be a mechanism of dissociation, and in this instance, it rendered my client amnesiac of my high regard for our work together. I believe this type of dissociation also accounts for the recurring disappearance of previously established trust that commonly occurs with emotional flashbacks.”
― Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving