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“He woke up with no eyebrows and no idea how he'd gotten into such a position.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“It occurred to him that a spell to make one’s enemies into idiots via the power of breasts might be immensely helpful. Then again, it might not be a spell. It might have only been the breasts.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“So this was shock. It seemed terribly inconvenient that the brain's reaction to being placed in mortal peril as to become much stupider.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“He wondered which had come first, the conviction that women would treat him with disdain or his apparent determination to treat them like they would before they could get that far.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Can’t please anyone. Will never prove to anyone you not evil. They never forget. Maybe you not deserve them to forgive. Still want to do evil tomorrow? Just because they expect? Even if don’t want to do evil? They choose, not you?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“But we don’t choose what life we get, we just do our best to make the most of it.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“It occured to him that a spell to make one's enemies into idiots via the power of breasts might be immensely helpful. Then again, it might not be a spell. It might have only been the breasts.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Valevna: ''Who's the real anyone? When does who you're pretending to be stop being a pretense and turns into who you really are?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“You seem to have an odd relationship with your goblins.â€� He shrugged. “It’s hard to hire good help.â€� “When you keep setting them on fire?â€� “Perhaps I should reconsider some of my employment policies,â€� he admitted.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“He’d clearly chosen a ridiculous name for himself, and gone well out of his way to acquire the trappings required to create a certain impression. No one stumbled on furniture that appalling by accident. His former self had put in quite the effort.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“How did someone decide to go down the path of darkness?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“I can get gingerbread men anywhere," whined a little boy. Gav privately wondered what kind of parent brought a child into a lair of evil, but wasn't about to argue with someone who had already picked up four weasels-on-a-stick.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“They're on a tour. A tour of the moat full of deadly squid, and the Garden of Death, and the torture chambers, and the Dark Wizard portrait gallery, and the banquet hall full of captured banners of slaughtered foes.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“You didn’t kill those two. Just terrified one and tortured the other. Who knows how many murders you succeeded at. And those two were not for lack of trying. Whether or not they actually died, you meant to kill them. You were just incompetent.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“But no, you came here armored in your own righteousness”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“That’s the difference, isn’t it, […] whether you want to be a hero, or just want to do the right thing.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Gug." Ah, monosyllables, his old friend. They would always be there, even when all other concepts of fundamental liguistics deserted him.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Valevna: Who's the real anyone? When does who you're pretending to be stop being a pretense and turns into who you really are?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful