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“I never let schooling interfere with my education”
― Mark Twain

“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even      the undertaker will be sorry. —Pudd'nhead Wilson's      Calendar”
― Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

“But I found out then, and never have forgotten since, that we never read the dull explanatory surroundings of marvelously exciting things when we have no occasion to suppose that some irresponsible scribbler is trying to defraud us; we skip all that, and hasten to revel in the blood-curdling particulars and be happy.”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Mark Twain Collection

“I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.”
― Mark Twain, The Awful German Language / Die schreckliche deutsche Sprache

“Gerçek ayakkabılarını giyene kadar, yalan dünyayı 3 kere dolaşır.”
― Mark Twain

“was fully able to realize that I was actually living in the sixth century, and in Arthur’s court, not a lunatic asylum. After that, I was just as much at home in that century as I could have been in any other; and as for preference, I wouldn’t have traded it for the twentieth.”
― Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

“no people in the world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goody talk and moral suasion: it being immutable law that all revolutions that will succeed, must begin in blood, whatever may answer afterward. If”
― Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

“Los dos días más importantes de tu vida son el día en que naces y el día en que descubres para qué”
― Mark Twain

“It is strange and fine—Nature's lavish generosities to her creatures. At least to all of them except man. For those that fly she has provided a home that is nobly spacious—a home which is forty miles deep and envelops the whole globe, and has not an obstruction in it. For those that swim she has provided a more than imperial domain—a domain which is miles deep and covers four-fifths of the globe. But as for man, she has cut him off with the mere odds and ends of the creation. She has given him the thin skin, the meagre skin which is stretched over the remaining one-fifth—the naked bones stick up through it in most places. On the one-half of this domain he can raise snow, ice, sand, rocks, and nothing else. So the valuable part of his inheritance really consists of but a single fifth of the family estate; and out of it he has to grub hard to get enough to keep him alive and provide kings and soldiers and powder to extend the blessings of civilization with. Yet man, in his simplicity and complacency and inability to cipher, thinks Nature regards him as the important member of the family—in fact, her favorite. Surely, it must occur to even his dull head, sometimes, that she has a curious way of showing it.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator

“Siyahtılar fakat Tanrı hiçbir çocuÄŸu annelerinin onları sevmeyeceÄŸi veya onlardan vazgeçeceÄŸi kadar siyah yapamaz, mümkün deÄŸil, dünyaları verseler bir anne onlardan vazgeçmez.”
― Mark Twain, Tuhaf Bir Rüya - Toplu Öyküler 1

“The reader must not imagine that he is to find in it wisdom, brilliancy, fertility of invention, ingenuity of construction, excellence of form, purity of style, perfection of imagery, truth to nature, clearness of statement, humanly possible situations, humanly possible people, fluent narrative, connected sequence of events”
― Mark Twain, The Complete Works of Mark Twain: The Novels, Short Stories, Essays and Satires, Travel Writing, Non-Fiction, the Complete Letters, the Complete Speeches, and the Autobiography of Mark Twain

“[O Biblii]: Jest to ksiÄ™ga bardzo interesujÄ…ca. Zawiera wiele szlachetnej poezji, trochÄ™ pomysÅ‚owych baÅ›ni, trochÄ™ ociekajÄ…cych krwiÄ… historii, trochÄ™ pożytecznych morałów, mnóstwo nieprzyzwoitoÅ›ci i ponad tysiÄ…c kÅ‚amstw.”
― Mark Twain

“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble, it's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”
― Mark Twain

“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear”
― Mark Twain

“Here a captive heart busted.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“ain’t any real difference between triplets and an insurrection. “The Babies”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

“Well, I don’t quite know about that, sir. I’ve often thought I would like to see a ghost if I—â€� “Would you?â€� exclaimed the young lady. “We’ve got one! Would you try that one? Will you?”
― Mark Twain, Complete Works of Mark Twain

“Había descubierto, sin darse cuenta, una de las leyes fundamentales de la conducta humana, a saber: que para hacer que alguien, hombre o muchacho, desee alguna cosa, sólo es necesario hacerla difícil de conseguir.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

“And now there can be no fitter occasion than the present to pronounce a left-handed blessing upon the man who invented the American saddle. There is no seat to speak of about it - one might as well sit in a shovel - and the stirrups are nothing but an ornamental nuisance. If I were to write down here all the abuse I expended on those stirrups, it would make a large book, even without pictures. Sometimes I got one foot so far through, that the stirrup partook of the nature of an anklet; sometimes both feet were through, and I was handcuffed by the legs; and sometimes my feet got clear out and left the stirrups wildly dangling about my shins. Even when I was in proper position and carefully balanced upon the balls of my feet, there was no comfort in it, on account of my nervous dread that they were going to slip one way or the other in a moment. But the subject is too exasperating to write about.”
― Mark Twain, Mark Twain in Hawaii: Roughing It in the Sandwich Islands: Hawaii in the 1860s

“By the woman’s make, her plant has to be out of service three days in the month and during a part of her pregnancy. These are times of discomfort, often of suffering. For fair and just compensation she has the high privilege of unlimited adultery all the other days of her life.”
― Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings

“When I am king, they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books; for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved, and the heart. I will keep this diligently in my remembrance, that this day’s lesson be not lost upon me, and my people suffer thereby; for learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.”
― Mark Twain, Mark Twain: The Complete Novels

“Swimming’s no good. I don’t seem to care for it, somehow, when there ain’t anybody to say I shan’t go in.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

“The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that’s what an army is—a mob; they don’t fight with courage that’s born in them, but with courage that’s borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any man at the head of it is beneath pitifulness.”
― Mark Twain, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“que para que alguien, hombre o muchacho, anhele alguna cosa, sólo es necesario hacerla difícil de conseguir.”
― Mark Twain, Las aventuras de Tom Sawyer

“we made a few bushels of first-rate blasting powder”
― Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

“all”
― Mark Twain, Christian Science

“Monday morning always found him so—because it began another week’s slow suffering in school.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

“gravest”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

“KiÅŸinin kafası ve kalbi boÅŸsa, karnı tok olmuÅŸ, neye yarar ! Bugün öğrendiklerimi hep aklımda tutacak, aldığım dersi hiç unutmayacak, halkımı bu sıkıntılardan kurtaracağım. Ne de olsa insanın kalbini yumuÅŸatan da, içine iyilik ve cömertlik aşılayan da bilgi deÄŸil mi ?" / Çalınan Taç / The Prince and the Pauper”
― Mark Twain, The Prince and the Pauper

“Ä°yi kitaplar okumayan biriyle, okuma yazma bilmeyen biri arasında hiçbir fark yoktur.”
― Mark Twain