Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Hey gang! Perhaps you were not moved by to buy my latest book. I understand. ÌýI'm a skeptic myself. ÌýSo let me prove to you that it's worth it. ÌýHere, free of charge, just because I like you, is the first chapter that I wrote. ÌýIt's from the point of view of Luke, a baseball star in a fictional Indiana town. ÌýEnjoy, and if you do, buy it , , , or . ÌýOr enter to win a signed copy (and check out the many laudatory reviews, most of which I didn't even write!) here.

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LukeÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý

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ÌýÌýÌýÌýI think I've seen too many chick flicks.Ìý Mom loves them, and our house is not that big, so there's no real way to escape it.Ìý

Ìý Ìý Ìý Okay, it's not really a house.Ìý It's an apartment over Hailer's Drugstore.Ìý Or, it was over Hailer's Drugstore before the MegaMart on Route 126 drove Hailer's out of business.Ìý Now it's an apartment over an empty space..Ìý

Ìý Ìý Ìý Ìý ÌýTen Things I Hate About You.Ìý The Wedding Singer.Ìý Lots of romantic comedies involve the guy doing some big, over-the-top public display where he sings a song or something and reveals his love for the girl, and she melts into his arms. I'm not much of a singer, but I do have access to a lighted sign.

There were two events that got me thinking.Ìý One was in Jenny Himmelrath's basement.Ìý The other was in Tessa's.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý It was a Sunday afternoon, and Jenny and I had gone to the lake, because there's really not much else to do around here.Ìý "I'm starving. You want to come back to my house for a snack?" she asked.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I did not say "Well we damn sure can't go back to my house because it's actually an apartment over an empty storefront and even though mom cleans like a fiend we can't quite get rid of the mice, and it's just embarrassing all the way around.."Ìý Though I could have said that to Tessa. And she would have laughed and offered to bring her brother's BB gun to see if we could pick off some mice.Ìý Instead, I said, "Sure.Ìý Sounds great!"

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý We went back to Jenny's house.Ìý Her parents were at some all-day church committee meeting, so the house was empty.Ìý She put on some music.Ìý It was Miss Kaboom's "Shake It"Ìý Too fast to be makeout music, but, then again, definitely a song about the pleasure of moving your body.Ìý I wondered if maybe Jenny was going to test the limits of what you can get away with and still wear one of those purity rings.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý And she might have, if I hadn't gotten a text from Tessa right after we'd drained our sodas and there was an awkward pause.Ìý The kind of awkward pause you're supposed to fill with a kiss. It filled with my phone buzzing.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Which wouldn't have been that bad if I hadn't whipped it out—my phone, I mean—to answer the text.Ìý It wasn't even something important.Ìý It was just some random thing she'd thought of, but I just never leave Tessa hanging because she's my best friend.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I put my phone away and turned to Jenny, who was staring at me.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "Um.Ìý What?" I said.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "What?Ìý What? ÌýWow, Luke, I can't even believe I was going to risk hell for you."Ìý I would like to point out that I did not giggle when she said that.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "I'm sorry, Jenny, but I don't know what you're talking about."

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "I'm talking about—you know, Luke, you have this reputation for being a nice guy, but you're not a nice guy.Ìý You're a jerk.Ìý You're a jerk to every girl you date because you're in love with someone else, and you're probably a jerk to her too because she obviously loves you and you don't even know it.Ìý How many other guys has she dated?Ìý Oh, that's right, none.Ìý She's waiting for you to open your dumb eyes."

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "What are you even talking about?"Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Jenny rose from the couch and looked at me.Ìý "Wow.Ìý That's just pathetic.Ìý You really—you don't know.Ìý You really think you and Tessa are just friends. It probably never occurred to you to wonder why she doesn't have a boyfriend.Ìý Or why you can't keep a girlfriend. Luke, get out of my basement and go see your real girlfriend Tessa."

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Okay, so that was one thing that got me thinking.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý The other one happened the following Friday.Ìý I wasn't going out with Jenny, and Tessa, as Jenny pointed out, did not have a boyfriend.Ìý So, after my baseball game, I went over to her house to watch movies like we've done a million times before.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý She popped in The Philadelphia Story, which I'd never seen.Ìý I don't usually like black-and-white movies anyway, but this was one of those movies about two people who don't think they're in love but actually are.Ìý (In this movie, they were exes, but whatever).

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Was she sending me a message? Why'd she pick that movie?Ìý I was wondering this stuff while pretending to pay attention to the movie when Tessa got tired and stretched out on the couch with her head in my lap.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Well, her head was actually resting on my right thigh.Ìý If it had been all the way in my lap, she might have found it kind of…uncomfortable.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I mean, Jenny Himmelrath, with her stupid purity ring and all, might have been right.Ìý Tessa was sending me a pretty clear signal.Ìý I mean, right?Ìý You don't just put your head in someone's lap without that meaning something.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý And then Tessa said this: "I just love Katharine Hepburn in this movie.Ìý She's like tough and fragile at the same time.Ìý I totally want to be her." She paused for a minute. "Or, you know, make out with her."Ìý I laughed at her joke, and then she laughed, but then I thought about it.Ìý Tessa wanted to be Katharine Hepburn, whose character was pretending not to be in love with someone she was actually inÌý love with.Ìý I mean, Tessa really was practically hitting me over the head with it.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I started noticing how much Tessa touched me.Ìý Every touch on the forearm, every squeeze of the shoulder, every poke in the ribs, everything that I had stupidly just written off as something people who've been best friends since childhood do suddenly made sense in a different way.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý And I realized that Jenny wasn't just right about Tessa—she was right about me, too.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Mom picked up on this with her scary mom radar.Ìý I didn't see her much these days—Tessa's parents, the Mastersons, promoted Mom to managing the store bakery, which meant she had to be at work at 4:30 every morning.Ìý Which meant she was in bed by nine at the latest.Ìý Nights when we had away games, I didn't see her at all.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý So I came home one Tuesday afternoon after practice and sat down at the kitchen table drinking a sports drink and Mom just stared at me.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "Who is she?" she said from the sink as she scrubbed a plate.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "Who is who?" I said.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "The girl you're obsessing about.Ìý Don't just sit there, help me dry."Ìý She tossed a dish towel at me, and I got up and started drying.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "I'm not obsessing about anybody," I lied as I put a plate away.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý "Liar.Ìý You just got home from practice and did not eat two thousand calories worth of anything.Ìý So who is she?"

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I dried out the big plastic cup we'd gotten at a Cincinnati Reds game last summer and figured it would be easier to just tell the truth than trying to deflect her questions for the next hour and a half.Ìý "I…I think she's Tessa," I said in almost a whisper.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Mom cackled. "Well thank God!Ìý The whole town's been waiting for you guys to make it official for years.Ìý And Tessa's a good kid with good parents.Ìý I worry like hell about you dating those purity ring girls.Ìý Those girls get a third date with a boy, they wind up pregnant.Ìý That is something you do not need, and I am way too young to be a grandmother. I'm sure Tessa at least knows what a condom is."

Ìý Ìý Ìý "Ah, Mom, God!"

ÌýÌýÌýÌý"Don't Mom God me.Ìý You come home with a pregnant girlfriend before you've got a bachelor's degree in your hand and I'llâ€�"

ÌýÌýÌýÌý"Cut off my man parts and feed them to me.Ìý I know, Mom, you've said the same damn thing every time I've left the house to do anything except play baseball.Ìý You need a new line." I think she's probably joking about mutilating me, but I'm not a hundred percent sure.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýMom was one of those churchy girls who didn't know anything about sex when she went off to Purdue, valedictorian of Brookfield/Mason Regional High.Ìý And she was one of those girls who got pregnant on her third date.Ìý She didn't even finish her freshman year. So she's been pretty adamant about me not fathering a kid until I've got a degree.Ìý And my getting a full ride to Purdue to play baseball has only made her more freaky about this.

ÌýÌýÌýÌý"Fine," Mom said.Ìý "You know what, if you're with Tessa, I'm not going to worry.Ìý That girl's got enough sense for the both of you.Ìý And I like her family."

ÌýÌýÌýÌýWhen Mom came back to Brookfield pregnant, the Mastersons gave her a job, "which is more than any of those holier-than-thou sons of bitches at First Lutheran ever offered a girl in need," according to my Mom.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌý"Well, great, Mom.Ìý I'm glad you approve," I said.Ìý "Now what do we have to eat in this dump, anyway?"Ìý That earned me a pretty hard punch in the arm.Ìý "Hey, not the pitching arm, Mom, okay?"

ÌýÌýÌýÌý"Toughen up, Sally," Mom said, laughing.

Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýSo I was on board, and according to Mom and Jenny Himmelrath, the whole town was on board too.Ìý That just left Tessa.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýI thought about different ways to do it.Ìý There was the classic lean in for a kiss in her basement, but I just felt like I wanted it to be bigger than that.Ìý If she'd really been waiting for me while I went through a bunch of Jenny Hammelraths at Brookfield/Mason Regional (or BM, as our sports opponents never tire of calling it), then I owed her something a little bigger.Ìý Larger scale.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýOf course the whole town was going to find out anyway—everybody in Brookfield knows if you've taken a dump before you even have a chance to flush—but I just thought it would be cool to tell the whole town how I felt.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýAnd I figured prom would be a great place for us to come out as a couple.Ìý In Indiana, you've got the basketball tournament, the Indianapolis 500, Notre Dame football, and the prom.Ìý I couldn't really involve Tessa in any of the first three, so it was going to have to be the prom.

ÌýÌýÌýÌýIt was crazy in so many ways: if it didn't work, we were risking a lifelong friendship; you don't start dating someone at the end of senior year, especially if you're going to colleges two-and-a-half hours apart in the fall; and putting up a twenty-foot-tall sign up about your feelings is just not something guys really do.Ìý

ÌýÌýÌýÌýBut I've seen enough chick flicks to know that anything that feels this crazy must be love.

Hello, friends, fans, and well-wishers. Ìý(Cue Moe Szyslak: "I'm more of a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm.")
I need your help. Ìý

I am hoping to draw on whatever good will I've generated with my work or my sparkling personality to get your assistance. ÌýThis is my George Bailey moment.

Kind of. ÌýI didn't make it possible for you to buy your house or make sure my town didn't become a den of vice and iniquity. ÌýAnd I'm not facing prison time because my stupid uncle got a wad of money stolen by old man Potter.

But my writing career is pretty precarious right now. ÌýI need your help to rescue it.

The bottom line is that publishers are running out of patience with my lack of commercial success.

My name has been associated with low sales for quite a while now. ÌýDONORBOY is pretty much the only one of my books to sell decently, and that came out in 2004.

With the new book, TESSA MASTERSON WILL GO TO PROM,
Barnes & Noble won't stock it because our previous collaboration didn't sell well. ÌýThus ensuring that this book is not getting into about 700 bookstores nationwide. Thus kind of reducing its chances of selling well. ÌýThe phrase "downward spiral" has been used.Ìý

So, yeah. My career is kind of in a death spiral right now. ÌýAnd I really need your help to pull out. Seriously. ÌýIf you've ever enjoyed one of my books and you hope to enjoy another one, I need your help with this one. The first print run of TESSA MASTERSON is 2000 copies. ÌýMy goal is to sell this out so they have to go back for another printing.

Here's how you, if you are so inclined, can help.

1. Buy the book.

Here are handy links to pre-order the book from , ,Ìý, and . Pre-ordering will help a lot. Ìý

If you or someone you know is a YA or school librarian, perhaps you could order the book for your collection!Ìý

2.The Library Option

Of course, I know not everybody can buy the book. ÌýThat's why we have libraries! ÌýMost libraries allow you to request a book online. Or, better yet, if you're friendly with your YA or school librarian, ask them if they're getting a copy! And when they get it, check it out. ÌýIf demand for the book exceeds supply, we can build some momentum with the libraries.

3.The GSA Option

If you are a high school student, teacher, or parent, tell your GSA advisor about the book. ÌýIt's our humble hope that this book might be a fun and hopeful read for gay teens and their friends. ÌýI mean, we hope everyone will find it a fun and hopeful read, and early readers have thus far responded very positively. ÌýBut we think that GSAs might especially enjoy reading and/or talking about this book and/or visiting or skyping with the authors. Ìý

4.The Celebrity Option

Do you know any celebrities who might enjoy this book and then tweet about it or mention it somewhere? ÌýLet me know. I will send them a signed copy. And not stalk them otherwise. Ìý

5. The Usual Social Network Suspects

If you're on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, or any other social networks, a nice mention for our book will be really helpful.

I really appreciate all of your help and support over the years, and I do feel bad asking for stuff directly. I have one more book under contract: ESCAPE FROM ASSLAND, written with Trish Cook and coming next year. I have some other irons in the fire, and haven't exhausted all my options, but if TESSA doesn't sell, there is a real possiblility that ASSLAND will be the last book I get published. Ìý

I don't feel like I've run out of stories to tell. ÌýBut I really need a hit, or even a non-miss. Ìý

Please leave a comment if you've got any other great promotional ideas I haven't thought of, or if you just want to give some general encouragement. ÌýI could really use it.Ìý

Thank you!

The internet goes crazy whenever somebody famous dies. The tributes pour out, everybody puts "RIP" on twitter, videos go up on facebook (I did this the other day when Davy Jones died), and you get a real sense of what these artists meant to people.

Unfortunately, the artists themselves don't get a sense of this. ÌýBecause they're dead. ÌýHonoring somebody after they're dead completely sucks because the honoree can't appreciate or enjoy it. If we really want to honor artists, we should praise them while they're alive and might possibly be able to appreciate the fact that their work has touched people.

So I'm going to be using this space periodically (I was going to try to do it every day, but let's face it, that's not gonna happen) to salute living artists on their birthdays, which is a much better day to be appreciated than your deathday.

Today is March 2. ÌýMy late wife Kirsten was born 44 years ago today. ÌýShe was always tickled that she shared a birthday with Lou Reed, who's turning 70 today.

I can't add anything to what's been written about the influence and awesomeness of the Velvet Underground, or about Lou's impact on the punk rock I loved as a teen, so I will say these two things. Ìý

1.)Lou's New York is one of my favorite albums of the 1980's.Ìý

2.)There are tons of tribute songs to dead people, but very few people in popular music have written well about the experience of grief. ÌýBut Lou did. Ìý(Exene is another, but it's not her birthday.)

So here he is on Letterman performing "What's Good." ÌýThanks, Lou, for this song and for all the pleasure your music brought me over the years. ÌýHappy Birthday!

Ìý

Ìý

Well, we're just about a month away from the release of TESSA MASTERSON WILL GO TO PROM, the novel I wrote with Emily Franklin about courage, friendship, and, of course, the prom. ÌýIt's really good. ÌýI know, I know, I would say that, but if you don't believe me, check the goodreads reviews. ÌýI only wrote one of those 5-star reviews!

Anyway, we're giving away three copies signed by both authors. Ìý ÌýSee details below! Ìý

Giveaway ends March 15, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ.

We recently sent the Dish Network dish packing. ÌýWe were doing the majority of our TV watching on Netflix and Hulu Plus anyway, so it seemed silly to keep paying for the dish. Ìý(Admittedly, if we were big sports watchers, that would have changed things.)

So far, I don't miss it at all. ÌýOur TV watching has become more intentional, and we no longer have the pressure of the unwatched shows piling up on the DVR.

So here are some thoughts on stuff I've watched recently.

The Avengers--Not the Emma Peel Avengers. ÌýThe Janet Van Dyne Avengers. ÌýI really enjoy this. ÌýIt's accessible to fans and non-fans alike, the voice acting is really good, and the Warriors Three play a key part in the last episode of season 1. Ìý

Downton Abbey--Probably the most popular show on twitter, at least among folks I follow, so I decided to give it a try. ÌýI suspect I don't have the prerequisite levels of Anglophilia to like this. ÌýDidn't even make it through the first episode. ÌýI guess it gets pretty juicy at some point, but I did not dig the glacial pace. I also have a real problem finding pampered aristocrats sympathetic in any way. ÌýThere's a scene early on in the first episode with Elizabeth McGovern breakfasting in bed with servants hovering around that I just found repellent. ÌýI don't find Britain's class system (or ours, for that matter) at all charming or quaint. If the point of the show is not how these repulsive people are humiliated at the hands of their long-suffering servants, I'm not really interested. (But then, I keep thinking the latest Red Hot Chili Peppers song is "Parliament of Roses" when it's actually "Monarchy of Roses.")

Portlandia--There's quite a bit of buzz about this one. I tried two episodes. ÌýThey weren't exactly horrible, but they do seem to be from the "comedy without laughs" school pioneered by Garrison Keillor. ÌýI believe I managed a wry grin at some point. Perhaps you have to be acquainted with the Pacific Northwest to get it, but, for me, this one's not funny enough to keep watching.

The River--I've only watched the first episode, but I really liked it, even with the presence of Jack Bauer's wife from season one of 24. I am a huge Ìýhorror fan, and this one, at least in the first episode, was smart and creepy. ÌýI think TV may be doing horror better than the movies at this point. ÌýI mean, sure, this is Heart of Darkness meets Blair Witch project, but I'll take that over a remake of Slumber Party Massacre or Paranormal Activity 4 any day.Ìý

Smash--I've watched the first 2 episodes and really enjoyed them. As a theater geek from way back, I find behind-the-scenes stuff like this inherently interesting in a way other folks may not. ÌýBut the performances are good (with the inexplicable exception of Angelica Huston, who doesn't seem to know what to do with this character), the plot is not completely predictable, and it holds up creative work as an interesting, difficult, and possibly even noble pursuit. Ìý

Sherlock--Season 2 is just as awesome as season 1. ÌýOne more episode to go, and we're saving it because we don't want the season to end. ÌýGreat performances, clever scripts..what's not to love?

Touch--We watched the premiere episode last night on Hulu and were kind of blown away. ÌýI have no idea how this is going to hold up over the course of a season, but the first episode was really unlike anything else I've ever seen on TV. ÌýThat's a pretty tough feat when almost every show is a version of another show. ÌýThe writing was very smart, and it was really cool to see how all the threads of the plot came together at the end. Ìý(The kids and I said "Whoa!" aloud at least three times). ÌýThere were really only two false notes: one was Danny Glover as Exposition Guy--he explains the central mystery of Kiefer Sutherland's life in about a minute and a half. ÌýAnd also, if the kid really had never spoken a word in eleven years, he would not have a diagnosis of selective mutism. Ìý(I've learned a thing or two from being married to a speech pathologist!)

Ìý

I honestly can't believe it's come to this, but it's time to stand up for sex. Metaphorically speaking.Ìý (Or literally speaking, if that's your thing, but that's not really what I'm talking about.)

As someone who votes Democratic in every election, I have found it somewhat amusing to watch the theocratic wing of the GOP overreach and shoot itself in the foot.Ìý

But I'm also horrified that birth control is suddenly controversial.Ìý And the Virginia thing--don't even get me started. (Actually, I don't have to get started, because pretty well covers it.)

While there is a whole lotta misogyny goin' on here, I think it's inaccurate to call this latest overreach by the theocrats a "war on women," as some people have labeled it.Ìý It's actually a war on sex. (Which is probably fundamentally about these guys not wanting women to be able to escape procreation, but men need to understand how much this affects them.)

Though they've fulminated for years about gay rights and abortion, our homegrown theocrats have finally tipped their hand to us with this anti-birth control business.Ìý They do, of course, want to control and subjugate women, but they also want to regulate private consensual sexual behavior.Ìý Essentially, they want to prevent non-procreational sex.

Since this constitutes the overwhelming majority of sexual activity, it would seem like, hey, we don't have to make a fuss advocating for something that everybody's going to do anyway.

But the anti-sex forces have been able to push their ludicrous agenda far further than they should have because too many of us are holding on to shame about sex and not speaking up.

So here goes.Ìý I, like literally every single adult I know well enough to have discussed such things with, engaged in sexual activity before marriage.Ìý The overwhelming majority of the sexual activity I've engaged in during my life has been done with precautions in place to prevent procreation.Ìý

I think both things are healthy and good.

I think people should make their own choices about who they have sex with and about whether the sex they have results in pregnancy.Ìý

I also think we men have a special responsibility to speak up against the terrible shame people assign to female sexuality.Ìý

Having and enjoying sex with someone without marrying them is not a bad or shameful thing to do, and women who have and enjoy sex should not be tagged with nasty, hateful epithets as a result. It's dumb that this double standard still exists.

I want everyone in this country to enjoy reproductive and sexual freedom. I do not want any of this business legislated, except to ensure that people's right to do whatever consensual activity turns them on is protected.Ìý

It's pretty easy for me as a man to say I'm not ashamed of my sexual past and that I want people to continue to enjoy the freedoms I've enjoyed. It will be easier for women to say the same if we men proclaim publicly that they shouldn't be ashamed. And if we stop saying "slut" and "whore."

It's been nearly 25 years since George Michael proclaimed "Sex is natural, sex is fun."Ìý We've come so far in so many ways since 1987 ; I really can't believe I am living in a world where that's a controversial statement to make.

I watched up till 10 o'clock, by which point I think three awards had been given out. My elder daughter complained about not seeing awards. But the Grammys have always been a joke.Ìý This is the organization that gave Starland Vocal Band the Best New Artist Grammy in 1976, the year that the Ramones, the Modern Lovers, and Graham Parker all made their debuts. The organization that voted a "Best Hard Rock/Metal" award to Jethro Tull, who beat out not only Metallica, but also AC/DC, Jane's Addiction, and Iggy Pop for the honor.Ìý So who cares about the awards?Ìý Bring on the performances!

Bruce seems like he's done trying to be Woody Guthrie, at least for a while.Ìý Which is good.Ìý His downbeat acoustic stuff is awful.Ìý The new song is a real winner in my opinion, with the upbeat chorus proclaiming that we take care of our own while the verses enumerate the ways in which we don't.Ìý Like it. But four guitars seems excessive.Ìý Do you and Patti really need to be playing guitars with Nils and Little Steven on the stage, Bruce?

Chris Brown brings up a rather tough quandary.Ìý Do people deserve second chances after doing horrible things?Ìý Yes. Of course they do.Ìý Does Chris Brown's awful crime mean he should never be allowed to work again?Ìý Well. Maybe. How do you forgive someone who isn't contrite?Ìý Is contrition a necessary condition of forgiveness?Ìý This is something I struggle with in real life, not just in pop culture commentary.Ìý In this case, I'm coming down on the side of this guy is an unrepentant abusive douchebag and it's a shame they even let him on the stage.

I argued with friends on Facebook about this--well, mostly just Britt, but still--but I think Foo Fighters are just the perfectly mediocre band. Dave Grohl seems like a great guy, but when Foo Fighters songs come on the radio, I neither turn them off in disgust nor turn them up.Ìý This is pretty much a blueprint for success on commercial radio, because anything I think is excellent may be something you hate. And vice versaÌý And then one of us might turn off the radio. Right now it appears that rock and roll is dead, or at least dormant, as a viable commercial genre.ÌýÌý I kind of wonder if rock and roll will see some kind of artistic renaissance since it is now pretty much anti-pop music.

Rihanna was godawful.Ìý I don't mind the song, but her performance was weird and joyless, as all her performances seem to be these days.Ìý Somebody on twitter--Lizz Winstead, maybe?--called Coldplay's performance "a really bad Lunesta commercial."Ìý The contrast between Coldplay's tepid rendition of their completely forgettable new single and Willie Nelson's rendition of "The Scientist" on the Chipotle ad was pretty striking.Ìý Not that I really like "The Scientist" either, but at least Willie's an artist with a distinctive voice and point of view who seems to aspire to be more than aural wallpaper. My favorite comment on Coldplay's performance was from Neil Aquino, who remarked: "Coldplay is terrible. Most everything is crap." The man has a gift for summing things up succinctly.Ìý A gift I quite clearly do not have.

Paul McCartney's entire performance was overshadowed by Stevie Wonder's "Love Me Do" harmonica part during his introduction.Ìý Not a terrible song, but not well-suited to Paul's voice, and the whole performance was listless. I would like to see Nick Lowe perform this song.Ìý I think he can pull off the standards thing, whereas Paul clearly could not.

Both Maroon 5 and Foster the People did horrible Beach Boys covers, though Foster the People's was somewhat less horrible.Ìý And I liked the fact that they did it in early-60's Beach Boys costumes.Ìý The Boys themselves...I was surprised both at the fact that Brian Wilson was in fine voice and at the fact that his neck has annexed his chin. Mike Love always seems like he can barely contain his rage, which makes him particularly ill-suited to perform pretty much the entire Beach Boys catalogue. He frightens me.

This is not a sentence I ever expected to type, but I thought Taylor Swift gave the best performance of the night.Ìý (I didn't stay up to see Adele,Ìý but while she has an amazing voice, I find her a deadly dull performer.) I've never been a fan because I generally don't like pop-country and I found her songs of adolescent heartbreak insipid. But at least she's actually a musician, as opposed to, say, Katy Perry, who is a product. And "Mean" is a winner.Ìý With the banjo, fiddle and mandolin, it sounds more country than pop, which I like, and it shows an edge that has also been absent in her entire catalog.Ìý It's also catchy as hell.Ìý I liked the fact that she performed in that shapeless Waltons dress, and she gave a pretty firey performance, delivering the whole thing as a smiling fuck you, which is a tough trick to pull off.

And then I went to bed.

Ìý

I read the headlines today that President Obama has granted NCLB waivers to several states, including my home state of Massachusetts. Nothing to get excited about, since the prez insists that the waived states have plans about "standards and accountability." In other words, more of the same.

One of my students summed up the failure of education reform, explaining why he left high school:Ìý "I felt I was being prepared to take orders rather than give them."

Now, one might write off the words of one high-school dropout (though I didn't), but I will tell you that I'm seeing variations of this sentiment from more and more students all the time.

They are, in my opinion, right.Ìý Here's why.

, any education reform that doesn't start with giving everyone what private school students enjoy (including the top-notch tutoring, counseling, and rehab programs my private school classmates were able to afford) is fundamentally unserious. (Though it is fun to listen to the "no excuses" crowd come up with excuses for why small class size and individual attention are pie-in-the-sky, unrealistic goals. Funny, creating a national testing infrastructure was doable...)

The primacy of standardized testing in k-12 public education is particularly worrisome.

Why don't rich people want standardized tests determining everything from how teachers are paid to whether students will graduate?Ìý Because they know that teaching is as much art as science and that most of the content you learn in high school is ultimately trivia.

I intend no disrespect to anybody who teaches high school with that remark.Ìý I simply mean that the most important stuff you learn in high school has nothing to do with curriculum content and everything to do with ways of thinking.

And teachers are, ultimately, more than content-delivery systems.Ìý If all teachers do is deliver content, you don't need them--you can do everything with "software solutions."Ìý (This is where ed reform is headed, if you ask me. Imagine the cost savings!) For example: I had a teacher whose class was very rigorous.Ìý I have no doubt that I would have scored well on a standardized test at the end of his course.Ìý He was also a bully, tempermental and capricious, whose greatest lesson to his young charges was the futility of standing up against abuses of power. So was he a good teacher or not?

Ask anybody about the best teacher they ever had. I do this all the time, and almost to a one, students mention someone who saw their potential, who believed in them, who pushed them to be better than they thought they could be.Ìý In other words, for most of us, the biggest impact a teacher has is personal rather than curriculum-related.Ìý This stuff can't be measured by a standardized test.

As you might expect, the rich are not clamoring to have their children tested two weeks a year. Nor do they want their teachers evaluated via standardized tests.Ìý Presumably they trust that they are paying for administrators who will be able to evaluate both the art and science of teaching.Ìý

Ten percent of students in the US are in private schools.Ìý They are being taught to think critically. They enjoy rich extracurriculars. They have teachers who are not straightjacketed by standardized tests.Ìý They will be the bosses of tomorrow.Ìý

And the ninety percent in public schools will be taking their orders.Ìý

I really think it's time for a critical examination of education reform.Ìý It's been great for people who make tests.Ìý For students, though, not so much.Ìý

The Massachusetts Education Reform law passed in 1993.Ìý We are now living in the world that ed reform created.Ìý And yet they still insist it needs more reforming.Ìý Why is that?Ìý If nearly two decades of education reform have failed to achieve the desired results, why do we still accept the pronouncements of the reformers as fact?Ìý Who else gets to remake an entire system in their image, fail to make substantive positive changes, and remain a respected authority on what needs to be done?

The pendulum has swung far enough.Ìý Those of us with children in public schools, and those of us who work in public schools, and those of us who believe in education as a pathway to justice and class mobility have to speak up against the testing agenda.Ìý They've had two decades to try this crap. It's not working. Let's try something else.

I read with some dismay that the .

Okay, that's an understatement. ÌýI should say, I was enraged by this news.

As most of the twelve of you who read this space regularly know, I was widowed by breast cancer in 2003. Back when I had money, I gave a bunch to the Susan G. Komen foundation. ÌýI even encouraged people to donate to this organization in memory of my late wife Kirsten.

I have had a lot of reservations about Komen: principally the proliferation of hideous pink shit, but also their reluctance to fund investigations of environmental causes of breast cancer lest they annoy their corporate sponsors. ( investigating environmental causes of breast cancer.) ÌýBut I gave them money when I had it because they are the biggest clearinghouse for breast cancer research cash.

But now they're refusing to fund cancer screenings performed by Planned Parenthood. Ìý

I hardly know where to start with this. Ìý

I guess I'll keep it brief. ÌýThe hypocrisy and cowardice of the Komen foundation are really sickening. ÌýThis decision is a complete betrayal of their ostensible mission. They would rather have women go unscreened for cancer if they happen to be doing it in a Planned Parenthood clinic.

I abhor people speaking for the dead, and I won't do it here. I don't know what Kirsten would think of this decision or what she would want people to do--people change and surprise you over time, so we can't say what dead people would think. ÌýBut I can say what I think: ÌýKirsten was a passionate supporter of women's reproductive rights, and for me to give a dime to the organization that rolled over for the anti-sex zealots would seem to me to be a betrayal of her memory. Ìý

I'm sick that I ever gave money to these people. I'm sickened that the idea of reproductive health and freedom is controversial. ÌýMostly I'm disgusted with the Komen Foundation. ÌýHow can you advocate for anything if you're completely spineless? Are you more than just a pink-festooned brand name?

If I want to make a donation to fund breast cancer research, I'll be giving to the Susan Bailis Breast Cancer Research Fund of the Silent Spring Institute, or Beth-Israel Deaconess Hospital, or Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, or The American Cancer Society. ÌýBut I'm through with Komen. ÌýThey've done some fine work raising awareness of breast cancer, but that work is done. They won't be getting any more money from me.

If you're just tuning in, we're running through the tracks on my . ÌýTracks 1-20 were covered in the previous post.

Ìý

21. Going Down to Liverpool-- The Bangles. ÌýAn all-female band from LA covering a song by an English dude with a girl's name who used to be in the Soft Boys. ÌýWeird, but it works. I really like the guitar solo.

22.Head Over Heels-- Go-Go's. ÌýSeriously. If you don't recognize the genius of the Go-Go's, somebody should punch you right in the junk. ÌýPreferably me.

23.Heartbreaker, Part I and II-- Zapp. ÌýThe pride of Hamilton Ohio brings us more excellent Southwestern Ohio funk. I suppose one could argue that Roger's love of the vocoder brought us our current auto-tune hell, but I still love all things Roger and Zapp. ÌýI once painted "Heartbreaker" on the legs of jeans because she inexplicably wasn't smitten with a chubby, braces-clad, foul-mouthed, sour-dispositioned, bad-hair-having troll. ÌýStill a good tune, though.

24.Hero Takes a Fall--The Bangles. ÌýThis one still stands up, in my opinion. ÌýGreat melody, and great lyrics. I listen to this one a lot when I'm thinking about people I hate that everybody else likes.

25.Hungry Like the Wolf-- Duran Duran. ÌýSure, their clothes were ridiculous. Sure, they owe their success to their videos. ÌýAnd yet, this is a completely kickass song about lust. ÌýAnd you can't really have too many of those.

26.I Can Make You Dance, Part 1-- Zapp. ÌýO, Roger, you did make us dance! You did! ÌýEven those of us who were too inhibited to do it well!

27.I Need Love--LL Cool J. ÌýIn which LL vows to stop his heartbreakin' ways and find a nice girl and settle down. ÌýNo idea how that worked out, but while we're on the LL subject, people have reviled all the baseball players who plumped up like Michelin men on steroids, but the rappers who did the same thing have escaped our opprobrium. Where's LL's congressional inquiry? ÌýAnyway, I like this song. ÌýLL knows that feigning vulnerability is a playa's top strategy. ÌýDee Dee Ramone complained that this song showed how rap was getting soft. ÌýWhich is why he made the immortal "Standing in the Spotlight" album.

28.If You Leave--Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark. Annoying, stupid band name, and the song is forever associated with an annoying, stupid movie. ÌýBut I like it anyway.

29. In a Big Country--Big Country. ÌýThey started an unfortunate pre-grunge flannel trend among me and my friends that lasted pretty much until grunge started, and then we had an excuse to continue. Still, I always had a soft spot for this band. They're known as a one-hit wonder but actually put out three very good records. And then a horrible one.Ìý

30.In My House--Mary Jane Girls. ÌýRick James was ever the biter, as we said in the 80's, or the swag-jacker, as my kids might say. ÌýPrince had a girl group, so Rick had to have one too. ÌýAnd yet this, I think, is every bit as good as Vanity 6's "Nasty Girl," if not quite as good as Appolonia 6's "Sex Shooter." They used to show this video on WTBS's "Friday Night Videos" all the time. ÌýThat was like MTV for those of us who could only afford basic cable. Ìý(True! ÌýNot only did MTV once play music, it was also once not a basic cable channel!). I feel like I saw this video every time I came home from a date in my senior year of high school.

31.Jailhouse Rap--The Fat Boys. ÌýI sold many records to used record stores in my day, and I never regretted any of the sales except this one. ÌýI had this on vinyl! ÌýAnyway, I love the Fat Boys, and this tale of how they ended up behind bars due to their pressing need for snacks is my favorite of their tracks. Ìý

32.Jessie's Girl--Rick Springfield. ÌýNow this one I know I have killed at karaoke. ÌýPerhaps in my high school years, I identified a bit closely with our hapless narrator, whose friend has a girl he wants to date and who can't understand why she's not interested. ÌýSigh...

33.Johnny Come Home--Fine Young Cannibals. ÌýThey would hit it big a few years later, but I always really liked this one, which seems especially deep for a pop song. Ìý"What is wrong in my life, that I must get drunk every night?" Ìý

34.Karma Chameleon--Culture Club. ÌýFantastic bass line, fantastic melody, weird riverboat gambling video. ÌýI love it. Never get sick of it.

35.Let the Music Play--Shannon. ÌýA huge and awesome hit. ÌýI remember hearing it for the first time in Sarah Stoehr's car, and she was two years older than me and deigned to let me ride in her car, so, you know, it was awesome. (For more on Sarah and my crush thereon, check out my contribution to this fine anthology.)

We're halfway done! ÌýMore soon!