Rupert Dreyfus's Blog - Posts Tagged "arse-hats"
It’s All Go! Go! Go!
Greetings!
I hope everyone is keeping well. It’s sub-zero here in the north of the UK. Can’t wait for winter to disappear.
So what’s Rupert been up to? This is what literally everybody wants to know right now. I flicked over to Celebrity Big Brother half an hour ago and couldn’t believe it when I heard that arse hat Katie ‘whenever I smile another child in Africa dies� Hopkins asking this very question to the other arse hat contestants. They piled into the ‘listen to my generic farts� booth and asked Big Brother for an update on Rupert’s status but he told them to go take their faces for a massive group shit. Katie Hopkins started to cry for the first time in her life and she’s now contemplating leaving the house to take up Taoism. Meanwhile Perez Penis Hilton III has tattooed his face with an image of my face using biro ink and can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.
So what *have* I been up to? Well for starters I’ve written another short story which is about a redneck family. It’s probably the sickest I’ve written thus far. You can read it here:
I’ve officially got bored of promoting Spark and it’s only been four months. It’ll be back up on Lulu for free by this weekend. In the meantime you can always email me for a free copy so you don’t have to spend that annoying couple of minutes fiddling with your bank card. I’m just experimenting with things at the moment. The immediate future is all about focusing on my next project which is presently just over 15,000 words and has a working title which I’ll reveal once I know that it isn’t going to change. It will be a nice follow up to Spark; both in theme and style. It seems a bit more crime orientated, though; but still as rebellious as I’m able to write. The narrator isn’t an idiot this time.
S’all for now. Keep it locked down and I’ll be in touch soon with more Dreyfus headlines which are dominating the media websites so you can learn about it here first.
Rupert
I hope everyone is keeping well. It’s sub-zero here in the north of the UK. Can’t wait for winter to disappear.
So what’s Rupert been up to? This is what literally everybody wants to know right now. I flicked over to Celebrity Big Brother half an hour ago and couldn’t believe it when I heard that arse hat Katie ‘whenever I smile another child in Africa dies� Hopkins asking this very question to the other arse hat contestants. They piled into the ‘listen to my generic farts� booth and asked Big Brother for an update on Rupert’s status but he told them to go take their faces for a massive group shit. Katie Hopkins started to cry for the first time in her life and she’s now contemplating leaving the house to take up Taoism. Meanwhile Perez Penis Hilton III has tattooed his face with an image of my face using biro ink and can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.
So what *have* I been up to? Well for starters I’ve written another short story which is about a redneck family. It’s probably the sickest I’ve written thus far. You can read it here:
I’ve officially got bored of promoting Spark and it’s only been four months. It’ll be back up on Lulu for free by this weekend. In the meantime you can always email me for a free copy so you don’t have to spend that annoying couple of minutes fiddling with your bank card. I’m just experimenting with things at the moment. The immediate future is all about focusing on my next project which is presently just over 15,000 words and has a working title which I’ll reveal once I know that it isn’t going to change. It will be a nice follow up to Spark; both in theme and style. It seems a bit more crime orientated, though; but still as rebellious as I’m able to write. The narrator isn’t an idiot this time.
S’all for now. Keep it locked down and I’ll be in touch soon with more Dreyfus headlines which are dominating the media websites so you can learn about it here first.
Rupert
