Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

Hi folks.

Please take a couple of minutes to read my new blog:



It has important news on what I'm up to.

Hope everyone is gravy.

I’m still not totally over the election results and probably never will be. It’s turned me into a Tweeting idiot for the last few weeks and for that I can only apologise. Thanks to all those who have shown me support since my last blog. And massive thanks to all those who have ever taken time out to read Spark or are planning to read Spark in the future.

I normally only do updates about once a month, but this is to let you all know what I’m presently up to as some projects have recently become set in stone and will take us to approximately the end of next year. I have finally reached 13 short stories which is the number I set as a target for the collection I’ve been working on. I dropped two previously published stories (Worms and Riot Van) as they didn’t sit well with the rest of the collection. This means that there’ll be eight previously unpublished short stories in this collection. I can’t wait to get them out there for people to talk about. The cover is in production as we speak. I’ve seen early versions of it and it’s looking great. I also have the title which I’m now revealing to you at long last: this collection is called The Rebel’s Sketchbook and its targets include shit boybands, maniac world leaders, Westminster politicians, social media idiots and much more. Alfie Khan, the anarchist computer hacker from Spark, also makes a cameo. I’m hoping that this is going to be put in to paperback and then I’ll be chucking it out there to as many people as possible. This release could still take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months before it’s with you depending on numerous factors. But it’s very close to happening�

What else? Well, as some of you know I was part way through writing my second novel when I decided to jump ship and focus on this short story collection instead. I want to give you a little info on that, too, as I will be returning to it soon and will aim to publish it in the latter half of next year. It’s called Cain and it’s very similar to Spark in style and theme, but the narrator isn’t so idiotic. It’s a crime story with a difference. It aims to challenge the notion of what crime is and who the real criminals are in this world.

I was hoping to write a novel away from my comfort zone of ultra-cynical, anarchistic satire in the next couple of years, but Thatcher’s lover children are in power so it’s going to be a continuation of disrespectful anti-Westminster sentiments until they’re booted out. The fucking scumbags. Some prick on Twitter was like: ‘Get over it; the Tories won.’� But as we all know the Tories didn’t win: greedy corporations did. Rupert Murdoch did. The Daily Mail did. Your boss did. The rich and powerful did. The Tories are just a vehicle to implement their collective agenda of worshipping at the altar of selfish cuntness.

Anyway. I also aim to write a small number of essays on sub-culture, rebellion and political drivel over the coming years. I bought myself a Dictaphone ages ago and have never used it, but I think it’s time to get out there and do some DIY journalism; reporting on the sorts of things that don’t get reported on much. I’ve also been meaning to write on the subject of free expression now that the internet’s happened so I’ll get round to that at some point, too.

So that’s what I’m up to for the foreseeable future. Meanwhile keep being thoroughly disobedient at any given opportunity and I’ll report back soon.

R.D

Hi folks,

Like a lot of people in the UK, I feel as sick as a dog right now. I am non-partisan, but am vehemently anti-Tory and fear where this election result is going to take us over the next five years. We can now only watch in horror as the government dismantles our public services for the benefit of big business while punishing the most vulnerable people among us. Meanwhile we’re becoming an isolated, insular and divisive nation which only serves the rich and powerful. Not to mention our rights, both in and out of the workplace, are set to disappear which will undermine hundreds of years of struggle and progress (wait for no fault dismissal to come in to the workplaceâ€�).ÌýHow my fellow citizens have fallen for this is something I will never, ever understand.

This situation is set to get much, much worse with what’s coming our way. We’re going to witness the work of sociopaths who have already gotten away with brutalising, starving and murdering too many of our fellow citizens. We are not in a good situation and yet they’ll insist that this is what democracy looks like. However, we all know that if you call a turd a rose it will still stink of shit. Democracy should not feel like being bullied by a very strict Victorian parent. This is not what democracy looks like; it’s a distraction burglary.

If you don’t know who I am already; I write stories and use my craft to speak out against social injustices and abuses of power. The stories are relentlessly anti-establishment, anti-Westminster and frequently challenge mainstream society. They are a blend of transgressive fiction, black comedy and satire as this gives me the most creative freedom.ÌýMy debut novel is a call for revolution as told by a disaffected computer hacker. It’s packed with serious messages about the state of the world and couldn’t be any more relevant than what it is right now.ÌýFrom what I can see our country doesn’t have many authors specifically writing against the powers that be. In fact I couldn’t name you one.ÌýAuthors are not to blame for this; the industry is driven by profit and as such they’re simply not interested in what writers like me have to say.

So if you are looking for an author speaking out against corrupt politicians, climate change, bankers, bosses, the voting system, police brutality, drug laws, social media idiots, Tories and much more while retaining a sense of humour you will probably appreciate what I’m doing.

This is not a sales pitch. My debut novel is available for free as an eBook. What little money I make doesn’t even cover running costs which is no big deal because money isn’t my motive for putting my stories out there.

My reason for writing this blog is to make you aware that one author is documenting this madness we are seeing all around us. I really hope you can find the time to check out my stories and support me. Everything I write is to challenge the establishment and mainstream society while calling for serious change. Over the next five years I promise you all some of the most pissed off, anti-establishment works of literature ever written as to make up for the distinct lack of authors writing about these times and these struggles in the UK. I’m sure there are people screaming out for this type of story; I just need you to help me spread the word.

If you are an author of fiction and you are interested in kick-starting a movement of writers writing stories against Westminster and other corrupt governments and institutions around the world then please get in touch through my website ASAP! Meantime I’m prepared to go this alone � wherever it may take me.

A new short story collection is going to be released very, very soon which will cover all of the above themes and more. At least one story will directly and unashamedly call out those Tory monsters and make you all feel much better. Meantime please take time out to read Spark for one of the most anti-Westminster stories in a generation. If you’ve got reservations then check reviews and watch the trailer here:

Meanwhile continue to be a rebel in the face of this tremendous struggle we are now presented with. Together we can surmount anything they throw at us.

Love all creatures.

R.D

Hello everyone,

I was going to operate an elaborate April Fools��� prank, but I decided against it. Boo!

I���ll give you a brief update instead. I���m parking on my second novel and I���m presently pushing towards releasing a collection of short stories instead. I now have 9 stories out of 13 complete. I���m hoping to make it available in paperback and do some giveaways; but if you���re skint then don���t worry because it���ll be free in at least one format (probably the eBook). I have a name for the collection which will hopefully turn some heads. I���ll reveal it closer to the time. And for those of you who have read , the story I���ve not long finished tops it. It���s absolutely appalling. Anyways; I���ll have more news on this in due course.

Some of you will know that last month I released a short story about a blunt as part of a Krs-One inspired competition. Once somebody had won the competition I realised that I had basically committed myself to writing a ridiculous yarn and there was no backing out of it. However, it was a lot of fun writing and researching aspects of it (particularly New York slang), and I���d like to give a shout out to all those people who took the time to read it. If you haven���t read it then you can always click here when you get some spare time.

So this month I���m going to write a little bit about vanity publishing. Vanity publishing used to be a dirty term; now it���s pretty much the norm except we call it indie publishing so it sounds less tragic. Hopping around Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ profiles, it seems as if 1 in 3 people are a Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ author with no budget, no publishing house behind them and no financial backing. What does Rupert think about this shift of direction in the publishing world? Well, like everything in life there are both good and bad points. Traditional publishing isn���t going to go away any time soon, but we are seeing a massive rise of self-published authors (myself included) trying to locate a readership now that the internet has happened. This can only be encouraged; nobody owns writing although industry people have gotten away with thinking that they have for too long. Like painting and making music, writing stories is for all of us to enjoy should we get the urge. Therefore encouraging people to be creative is the way forward.

You may already know that self-publishing has been around for pretty much as long as the written word has been around. In fact some famous names took to it hundreds of years ago. William Blake, for example, believed that self-publishing was the only way to retain complete creative control over his work and to avoid the church and state interfering with it. But in the pre-internet days self-publishing had mostly been a fringe hobby. Most aspiring authors used to have to go through the infuriating process of approaching literary agents. I won���t bore you with this process, but I will say that crowd surfing across broken glass and rusty nails dipped in herpes is more fun than sending off your manuscript to some spotty intern who is quick to wipe their arse with it and then send a rejection letter written on the back of a beer mat with wax crayon. It���s no great mystery why people are boycotting that procedure and doing things independently.

Yet despite Blake���s best efforts to show that self-publishing can be credible, there is still a stigma attached to it which I���d like to touch on because this attitude is bad boogie; as if we all fall in to the same category. You can find numerous people getting on their high horses whenever somebody like me pops up and takes a shit in their pristine Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ forum. Fair enough; nobody���s under any obligation to read my stories or to even engage with me on any level. But the record I���d like to set straight is the reason why I personally decided to vanity publish.

I decided to vanity publish because my formative years were spent listening to DIY punk and hardcore bands so this route seems only natural. Also; if Hillary Mantel���s The Assassination of Margret Thatcher caused outrage among the establishment then stories like Spark are going to give them a hernia. I can���t be arsed trying to market my anti-market stories at people who mostly care about making some money out of the market. Yeah, it���d be lovely to make some paper out of writing, but I ain���t compromising my morals in order to do it. I���m happy making little money and keeping it as real as I can; putting out stories I would personally enjoy reading and approaching people who look like they may appreciate them.

I���d also like to stress that I���m not against traditional publishing (that would be crazy). If an agent popped up who seemed like they could compliment what I���m doing then I���d be a fool not to consider it. However, there are aspects of the traditional publishing world which I am firmly against. This is an essay in itself so I���ll save that for some time in the future.

So that���s vanity publishing. Love it or hate it, it���ll be sticking around for as long as there are clowns like me who think they���re the next George Orwell. But rest assured; I ain���t going away until I���ve made my millions. And then I���ll buy the publishing industry and burn it in to the fucking ground.

Keep it foolish!

Rupert

Hello folks,

I hope everyone is well.

After some logistical problems, I’ve finally uploaded the short story I’ve been banging on about for some time. You can find it by clicking here . It’s a crime caper which is told from the viewpoint of a blunt (think a poor man’s Dashiell Hammett). It’s not the first time I’ve written a short story from the viewpoint of an inanimate object, but it’s probably going to be the last. I’m also going to lay off imitating an American voice for a bit. Even if I manage to filter out most of the Britishisms, I have American friends and family reading these stories so enough is enough�

Regardless; I hope you enjoy it. I don’t smoke these days, but I am still an advocate of reforming our drug laws here in the UK and across the world for a multitude of reasons. The stoner stereotype does weed a massive injustice. When all the shouting’s done it can be a great aide to creativity and has medicinal properties for all types of serious illnesses. I personally feel it’s about time weed is given the respect it deserves by being legalised across the world.

A proper blog update will be provided early next month for all you Dreyfus heads.

Take care!

RD

Greetings!

I’ll quickly skirt over what I’ve been up to and then I’m going to get all opinionated about UK drug laws. I ran a competition on my Twitter page to give me a break from writing my second novel. The competition was to guess which KRS-One tune I’m going to base a short story on. The answer is I Can’t Wake Up and there has been a winner (big ups Alix Anarchic!). The prize is that the story will be dedicated to Alix and when I release my short story collection sometime in the next year or so, she will also get a free copy.

If you don’t know, the KRS-One tune is about a blunt. I don’t smoke weed that much these days (although once every blue moon I can be found huffing on a vaporizer), but I’m still a big advocate for changing drug laws to something scientific and which differentiates between recreational drug use and drug addiction; the latter being a serious illness which needs an entirely new approach where compassion replaces ignorance. Like pretty much everything else they have an opinion on, the Tories and the Labour Party are a bunch of useless melons on this subject.

Let’s be honest: the present laws have been implemented by boring farts who wouldn’t know what fun is if it flashed its willy at them. These unenlightened fools think that criminalising recreational drugs (except for the taxable major killers alcohol and nicotine) makes them morally superior when really they’re just authoritarian arse hats who enjoy dictating to the rest of us what the parameters of the human experience should be. Bottom line: adults should be allowed to do whatever they want in their spare time (with the usual caveat of not infringing on other people’s space and consent is always paramount).

But the case for legalising weed is a matter of priority and such a shift in attitude would pave the way to other drugs being treated with respect. It’s happening in other corners of the world and it’s a matter of time before it’ll happen here; it’s just a question of how long we have to wait. It’s a topic that even non-drug users should get involved in because the benefits of having good education on drugs for younger people, a decent marketplace and a legal system which values the scientific method will be a massive leap in the right direction, reducing crime and dependency while maximising personal freedom. I’m strictly non-partisan but the Green Party (appropriately named, right?) have the most sensible approach to drugs in my opinion. The rest are way off course. Dull, outdated farts. Imagine going to one of their house parties. It’d be fucking unbearable.

What else can I moan about? Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ is great and I love it, but one thing which has both surprised me and gripped my shit is that you can’t recommend your stories to friends except through private messages. You can start posts about your book on some group forums and there are a couple of threads solely for self-published authors, but they’re usually met with indifference â€� as if there’s a law book when it comes to promoting your own stories. This is absurd in these changing times. Most people are logging on to Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ to discover books. So if they read a recommendation from an author who has zero advertising budget they can quickly decide whether or not they want to pursue it. Nobody gets hurt so I fail to understand why people start complaining as if the only way people are allowed to get the word out is through expensive adverts.

So anyways; I’m currently about a third of the way through this short story and I’m going to finish it before returning to my second novel. I’m still reluctant to disclose any details about my second novel just yet. But all will be revealed in due course. I’m going to go all out and get as many people reading it as possible. I quickly got bored of promoting Spark which is a shame because those who have read it and have been in touch seemed to have enjoyed it. It’s still free on Lulu.com and as cheap as I can set it on the Kindle so get on it. It’s also available on the Nook but who gives a shit about the Nook.

I’ve also got back into reading and have read some great books so far this year. I particularly recommend Wasting Talent by Ryan Leone, Galveston by Nic Pizzolatto and a collection of poems called Stone Hotel by Raegen Butcher. I’m not big in to poetry, but this is more like reading short bursts of wisdom from the viewpoint of a prison inmate. What all these works have in common is they are authentic. I’m looking forward to reading The Last Magdalene: A Novella by Riya Polcasrtro and Last Exit to Brooklyn by Hubert Selby, Jr. over the coming month. I’ll also try to read Necropolis by Guy Portman as well as some other stuff on my ‘to read� list.

So that’s your update for this month. Feel free to get in touch, tell me what’s going on and please make me rich by buying my huge range of reasonably priced merchandise. The highly requested Sentenced sick bags are definitely coming soon and plans for releasing Eat Nasty action figures with detachable mullets could become a reality this time next year.

Inabit, soldiers!

Greetings!

I hope everyone is keeping well. It’s sub-zero here in the north of the UK. Can’t wait for winter to disappear.

So what’s Rupert been up to? This is what literally everybody wants to know right now. I flicked over to Celebrity Big Brother half an hour ago and couldn’t believe it when I heard that arse hat Katie ‘whenever I smile another child in Africa dies� Hopkins asking this very question to the other arse hat contestants. They piled into the ‘listen to my generic farts� booth and asked Big Brother for an update on Rupert’s status but he told them to go take their faces for a massive group shit. Katie Hopkins started to cry for the first time in her life and she’s now contemplating leaving the house to take up Taoism. Meanwhile Perez Penis Hilton III has tattooed his face with an image of my face using biro ink and can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.

So what *have* I been up to? Well for starters I’ve written another short story which is about a redneck family. It’s probably the sickest I’ve written thus far. You can read it here:



I’ve officially got bored of promoting Spark and it’s only been four months. It’ll be back up on Lulu for free by this weekend. In the meantime you can always email me for a free copy so you don’t have to spend that annoying couple of minutes fiddling with your bank card. I’m just experimenting with things at the moment. The immediate future is all about focusing on my next project which is presently just over 15,000 words and has a working title which I’ll reveal once I know that it isn’t going to change. It will be a nice follow up to Spark; both in theme and style. It seems a bit more crime orientated, though; but still as rebellious as I’m able to write. The narrator isn’t an idiot this time.

S’all for now. Keep it locked down and I’ll be in touch soon with more Dreyfus headlines which are dominating the media websites so you can learn about it here first.

Rupert

January, 2015

Happy New Year!

So it’s officially 2015 and everything is very similar to how it was in 2014. With all those crazy celebrations going on I was expecting to wake up in some kind of utopia where we’ve finally sussed out the meaning of life and all creatures are truly free to live in harmony. Looks like people were just getting a bit overexcited�

I’ve been up to more of the same since my last update; networking and hanging out with people online. And when I say networking; I mean harassing defenceless human beings to read and review Spark. It’s all trial and error at the moment until I figure out what works. I’m the type of person who doesn’t really care about etiquette so please forgive me if I send a message asking you to read and/ or review Spark. Taking too many drugs in my younger years has eroded all sense of what’s acceptable behaviour. I’ve even been messaging celebrities, asking them to get on board the Dreyfus wagon. No joy thus far, but I’ll keep being an annoying cunt until somebody cracks under the pressure.

I’m massively thankful to all those who have read any of my stories and have been in touch. I know it’s really annoying to keep asking, but if you have read Spark then please review it on Amazon and Lulu etc., blog about it, tell like-minded friends about it as this helps it to keep growing; particularly in these early days. Meanwhile I promise to have a rethink about whether or not reviews are that important and will continue to work on not bugging any of you in the future.

I am presently writing a new short story which is as good as finished. It’s about the way in which social media has regimented many of us to behave like idiots. I think Charlie Brooker would approve. It’s very cynical and a nice change from covert political swipes. I will eventually release a collection of short stories so people can discuss them and review them.

The bad news is that I don’t know if I’m going to release my ‘fuck off, you massive bigoted cunt with blinkers on� story come election time for a multitude of reasons. I’m presently undecided, but I mainly fear the negative backlash could vastly outweigh any positives I might gleam from it. If I had a massive following or there was a movement of writers and artists coordinating some artistic direct action then it’s a no-brainer, but because I’m just starting to get off the ground I feel that such a short story could have a detrimental effect.

People often ask me: why satire and transgressive fiction, Rupert? Well, after years of writing in a more serious style and slowly getting bored of its limits (think a poor man’s Patrick McGrath in the third-person), I wrote Spark and realised that a blend of these two sub-genres allows me to tackle subjects in a way that I’m completely happy with. Satire gives me the scope to take a serious subject and be as ridiculous as I want with it while focusing on ultimately making a serious point. Transgressive fiction allows me to chuck in a sense of the real world while knocking down all boundaries. Anything goes; drug taking; mindless violence; puking; whatever. Transgressive fiction also gives me the freedom to occasionally move away from taking political swipes and to tackle other subjects of interest. I’ve been a massive fan of these genres in my own life so it feels natural. I mean; this journey would be a lot easier if I wrote something commercially friendly with flowery prose and linear plots, but I’d take zero enjoyment from it. I love writing this type of story in this type of style; even if it’s putting me close to the fringes. I can’t see myself departing from it.

So there you go! That’s where I’m at right now. I will write more about writing in the coming months because it’s a subject in and of itself. I aim to write an essay about free expression at some point, but right now it’s all about locating cynical freethinkers who share the same worldview as me. I know there are more of you out there and I’m coming to look for you�

I’ll be in touch soon enough; probably when my next story is uploaded. You can always email me through my website to discuss any of the themes I explore or feel free to tell me what’s going on in your world. In the meantime keep being thoroughly disobedient at every given opportunity. Take up writing fiction because if you can read a story then you can definitely write one. That whole thing about ‘there’s at least one book in everybody� is condescending nonsense which places authors on a pedestal. We’re all writers; each and every one of us. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Wizpeck!

Rupert

Greetings!

I would first like to say a massive thank you to the people who have set time aside for reading Spark. It’s great to see that people can engage with a self-published author who is making a deliberate effort to rally against just about everything. There are a lot of projects lined up for the New Year. I’m working on a handful of short stories, a novella and an essay which will primarily aim to encourage people to take up writing now that we have the means of bypassing the publishing industry and reveling in free expression. In the meantime I’ll be plugging Spark at every given opportunity. I will make a prediction that I’ll start working on my next novel during the second half of next year. I’ll keep you all updated as and when�

I’ve also finally uploaded a new story which is about police brutality and compliments Spark, but it can be read without ever reading Spark (although you definitely should read Spark if you haven’t already). It’s called Riot Van and you can read it .

There has also been a brief technical hitch with my website which, after much arsing around, has now been resolved. Apologies for any inconvenience; especially to Jason on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ who I linked to my website just as it went down.

So what else has Rupert been up to since his last news flash? Networking, mostly. I’ve learned, however, that I’ll never be any good at using Twitter. I never used it in my personal life so I don’t really understand it. The character limit is annoying and there is a constant feeling that I’m drowning in a cacophony of people’s anxiety. And your latest Tweet seems to disappear down the cyber plughole quicker than the time it took to write it. By the time you’ve juggled the words around as to not exceed the character limit, you’ve got nearly 100 of them waiting for you thus implying that your own input to the Twitterverse is relatively insignificant and five minutes too late.

I’m therefore going to get more active on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ as this seems to be the place that readers go to as to find new books. At least there I won’t have to spend five minutes working out how I’m going to rephrase how much I loathe the Tories. And because the character limit is a lot more generous, it feels like a much freer platform to contact people and engage with them. Feel free to add me on there and say hello. Here’s the link.

Anyways. Have a great Christmas and an even greater New Year. And if you see Santa over the festive season then give him a Chinese burn from me. And remember; Spark is free on and it’s cheap on the Amazon Kindle. I’m not a salesman; I’d be writing these stories even if nobody was around to read them.

Take up writing, take a stand and take it easy�

Rupert

Greetings!

I’ve written a new short story which highlights the dangers of allowing maniac world leaders anywhere close to nuclear weapons. It’s called On the President’s Watch and you can read it .Ìý

There are a fair few short stories in the pipeline which will be announced in due course. The next one is likely to be uploaded at the end of the month and may cause a ruckus. So what else have I been up to? I’ve basically been harassing people all over the internet, asking them to invest their time in to reading my stories. When you’re self-published, lacking a budget, and tend to write ridiculous stories which drift between transgressive fiction and satire, this is no easy task.

And I don’t know if there’s a name for suddenly following loads of people on Twitter with the hope that they’ll follow you back, but I’ve been doing a lot of that recently as well. If there isn’t a name for it then I nominate Twitter bombing. I would like to stress, however, that I’m not just following anybody; if I’m suddenly following you and you’re somehow reading this update, wondering who I am, it’s because your profile indicates that we have common ground. You care about the future of our species and have a vague idea who Chomsky is. Thanks to all those who follow me back!

Yep, this journey of finding a readership is a hoot. However, I prefer it to the rigmarole of approaching literary agents. Now that was bollocks. I only sent Spark to one agent � just out of curiosity � and it was a hoot. I’m definitely all about the DIY ethic.

I’ll update you all soon. In the meantime stay safe�

Rupert