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214 pages, Paperback
First published May 9, 2006
鬲賳賴丕 夭賳丿诏蹖 讴乇丿賳 丕賳鬲禺丕亘 禺賵丿卮 亘賵丿貙 賵賱蹖 賳賴 鬲丕 丕蹖賳 丕賳丿丕夭賴 鬲賳賴丕. 亘丿鬲乇蹖賳 噩賳亘賴 蹖 鬲賳賴丕蹖蹖 丕蹖賳 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賲噩亘賵乇蹖 鬲丨賲賱卮 讴賳蹖.蹖丕 鬲丨賲賱 賲蹖 讴賳蹖貙 蹖丕 睾乇賯 賲蹖 卮賵蹖.亘丕蹖丿 爻禺鬲 鬲賱丕卮 讴賳蹖 鬲丕 匕賴賳 诏乇爻賳賴 丕鬲 乇丕 丕夭 賳诏丕賴 亘賴 诏匕卮鬲賴 亘丕夭丿丕乇蹖
鈥漈here鈥檚 no remaking reality,鈥� she told him. 鈥淛ust take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes.鈥� p.5This line is uttered by the narrator鈥檚 daughter Nancyby his second marriage. She is the only two 鈥� the other being his older brother Howie who seems to have loved the narrator, her father, sincerely. I loved Nancy because I hope or I know to some extent that my own daughter would be like her when I become really old and gray.
鈥漎ou wicked bastards! You sulky fuckers! You condemning little shits! Would everything be different, he asked himself, if I鈥檇 been different and done things differently? Would it all be less lonely than it is now? Of course it would! But this is what I did! I am seventy-one. This is the man I have made. This is what I did to get here, and there鈥檚 nothing more to be said!鈥�pp. 97-98While Nancy is sprinkling the dirt (soil) unto her father's coffin, Roth presents the back story of the narrator, told in the narrator鈥檚 (corpse) point-of-view. So, the narrator speaks to the reader in monologue akin to Hamlet spewing his innermost thoughts mostly in anger, pain, regret and utter loneliness. There are many lines like this and so the narration could really be depressing. Don鈥檛 read this book if you want a happy read!
鈥漁ld age is a battle, dear, if not with this (drug), then with that (weariness). It鈥檚 an unrelenting battle and just that when you鈥檙e at your weakest and least to call up your old fight.鈥�pp. 143-144The words in parenthesis are my interpretation based on the previous statements in this hospital scene when the narrator鈥檚 health condition is turning from worse to worst. This metaphor of battle for old age is introduced in the portion but will be reversed by Roth later in the next quote like a two-step ascending crescendo in a dark funereal orchestra.
鈥漁ld age isn鈥檛 a battle; old age is a massacre.鈥�p. 156Probably the most quoted part of this book鈥檚 narrative. It is a reality that old age leads us to death. Prior to that, it makes us ugly: wrinkles, expanding waistline, stooping posture, white hairs, shrinking, fluffier face, swollen joints, pigmented and dull skin, etc. However, for me, focusing on these is forgetting that: Old age is a bliss too. If you played your cards well when you are young and strong, chances are you are financially-secured when you become old and frail: no more children鈥檚 education to support, debt-free so you can sleep all you want, you can get up in the morning really late, you can read all the books you want, you can see all the movies you fancy seeing and you can do nasty things to young people and they would ignore or forgive you quite easily compared when you were younger and so people were less forgiving.
鈥滾ook back and atone for what you can atone for, and make the best of what you have left.鈥�p. 171Even if we do our best, as human beings, we cannot avoid hurting people. So, we say sorry. So we learn from our mistakes. Yet, we always stumble. We always fall. But we raise up again and again. As life goes on and on.