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First published January 1, 1958
"[I'm] something worse than a fool. Would that she could make of me a saint, or I of her a sinner-- For the first part it's too late, old friend, too late! And for the second--it was precisely my intention, and a rare moment this is to discover that if I could I would not!"What to do? The resolution isn't as simple as you might expect.
Then she knew that it was not anxiety for Aubrey, her first concern for so many years, which made her impatient to reach the Priory, but the desire to be with her friend.
And all for a little, plump, black-eyed slut, older than himself, whose marriage-ring and noble degree hid the soul of a courtesan!
‘Good! What a fortunate escape you had, to be sure! I daresay it may not have occurred to you, but I have little doubt that by this time Lady Sophia has grown sadly fat. They do, you know, little plump women!
nor did she cherish illusions about her love: not for him the life of a celibate, mourning his lost bride: he was very much more likely to seek forgetfulness in excess, and would probably be next heard of flaunting some dazzling lightskirt all over Europe. …any day now Aubrey would leave the Priory, and then, Venetia thought, he would be lost to her indeed.
He had had many loves; perhaps he had many friends too, with minds more closely attuned to his than she believed her own to be. These troubled her as his loves did not. With his loves she was as little concerned as with his first encounter with herself. That had angered her, but it had neither shocked nor disgusted her. Men–witness all the histories!–were subject to sudden lusts and violences, affairs that seemed strangely divorced from heart or head, and often more strangely still from what were surely their true characters. For them chastity was not a prime virtue: she remembered her amazement when she had discovered that so correct a gentleman and kind a husband as Sir John Denny had not always been faithful to his lady. Had Lady Denny cared? A little, perhaps, but she had not allowed it to blight her marriage. ‘Men, my love, are different from us,� she had said once, ‘even the best of them! I tell you this because I hold it to be very wrong to rear girls in the belief that the face men show to the females they respect is their only one. I daresay, if we were to see them watching some horrid, vulgar prize-fight, or in company with women of a certain class, we shouldn’t recognise our own husbands and brothers. I am very sure we should think them disgusting! Which, in some ways, they are, only it would be unjust to blame them for what they can’t help. One ought rather to be thankful that any affairs they may have amongst what they call the muslin company don’t change their true affection in the least. Indeed, I fancy affection plays no part in such adventures. So odd!–for we, you know, could scarcely indulge in them with no more effect on our lives than if we had been choosing a new hat. But so it is with men! Which is why it has been most truly said that while your husband continues to show you tenderness you have no cause for complaint, and would be a zany to fall into despair only because of what to him was a mere peccadillo. “Never seek to pry into what does not concern you, but rather look in the opposite direction!�
When she was in London, Mrs Hendred’s breakfast was invariably carried up to her bedchamber on a tray, but it was Venetia’s custom, like that of many other ladies of more energetic habit than Mrs Hendred, to rise betimes, and sally forth, either to do a little hum-drum shopping, or to walk in one of the parks. Breakfast was served on her return in a parlour at the back of the house, and such was the esteem in which she was held in the household that it was Worting’s practice to wait on her himself, instead of deputing this office to the under-butler.
What I regret I can never undo, for the gods don’t annihilate space, or time, or transform such a man as I am into one worthy to be your husband.
"...my case is clearly past remedy, and I've nothing to do but decide whether to be an aunt to Conway's children, or a mother to Edward's - and I have a lowering presentiment that Edward's children will be dreadfully dull, poor little things!"
"Master Aubrey’s hatred of his disability, and his passionate desire to show himself as hearty and as independent as his more fortunate contemporaries:
"When you smile at me like that, it’s all holiday with me!"
"There was a laughing devil in his sneer,
That raised emotions both of rage and fear;
And where his frown of hatred darkly fell,
Hope withering fled, and Mercy sighed farewell!"
It would be better to marry a man one positively disliked than to remain a spinster.
Venetia had been born with a zest for life ... and a high courage that enabled her to look hazards in the face and not shrink from encountering them.
The Wicked Baron, as she had long ago christened Lord Damerel... was considered by the respectable to be the neighborhood's only blot.
"Who are you? Or should I first present myself to you? I’m Damerel, you know."
"Yes, so I supposed, at the outset of our delightful acquaintance. Later, of course, I was sure of it."
"Oh, oh � ! My reputation, Iago, my reputation!" he exclaimed, laughing again.
“I allow you all the vices you choose to claim -- indeed, I know you for a gamester, and a shocking rake, and a man of sadly unsteady character! -- but I'm not so green that I don't recognize in you one virtue and least, and one quality."
"What, is that all? How disappointing! What are they?"
"A well-informed mind, and a great deal of kindness.�
“O God, I love you to the edge of madness, Venetia, but I'm not mad yet--not so mad that I don't know how disastrous it might be to you--to us both. You don't realize what an advantage I should be taking of your innocence.�
The silly pigeon rigged himself out as fine as fivepence, and trotted round to Grosvenor Square looking precise to a pin: Inexpressibles of the most delicate shade of primrose, coat by Stultz, Hessians by Hoby, hat � the Bang-up � by Baxter, neckcloth � the Oriental, which is remarkable for its height � by himself. Add to all this a Barcelona handkerchief, a buttonhole as large as a cabbage, a strong aroma of Circassian hair-oil, the deportment of a dancing-master, and a lisp it took him years to bring to perfection, and you will perceive that Alfred is not just in the ordinary style!
Unfortunately there was no possibility of following it up in the accepted mode, and although several susceptible gentlemen inveighed bitterly against the barbarity of a parent who would permit no visitor to enter his house none of them was so deeply heart-smitten after standing up with the lovely Miss Lanyon for one country-dance as to cast aside every canon of propriety (as well as to the horrid dread of making a great cake of himself) and ride out of York to Undershaw, either to hang about the gates of the Manor in the hope of achieving a clandestine meeting with Venetia, or to force his way into the house.
Venetia then found herself being ruthlessly kissed. Her cheeks much flushed, her eyes blazing, she fought strenuously to break free from a stronger hold than she had ever known, but her efforts only made Damerel laugh
He even made her laugh, for when she was talking about the delights of shopping in Paris he said: "And for hats of the first style of elegance, Phanie!" which surprised a little trill of mirth out of her. "Yes! How did you know?" she asked, looking innocently up at him.
Venetia choked, and saw a muscle quiver in the corner of Damerel's mouth. But he said gravely: "I fancy I must have heard the name on the lips of some lady of my acquaintance."
It was the first of the many hasty interventions she felt herself obliged to make during the course of what she bitterly described as a truly memorable dinner-party, for while Aubrey offered no unprovoked attacks he was swift to avenge any hint of aggression. Since he made it abundantly plain that he had constituted himself his sister's champion, and won every encounter with the foe, Venetia could only suppose that Mrs. Scorrier was either very stupid, or compelled by her evil genius to court discomfiture.
The only fault Mrs. Hendred had to find in the news was that the Queen should have chosen to die on the 17th instead of the 18th November, for the 17th was the day fixed for the ball she was giving in Venetia's honour. Few things could have been more provoking.