ŷ������

Edit on 22/09/2021: If you'd like to see an embroidery project I made inspired by this lovely book, head on over to my blog to see it! Hint: blackberries ;)
P.S. - I love this book as much as ever <3 <3

Yorkshire, 1818

*WARNING! Spoilers, gushing, swooning, quoting and rose-petal strewing ahead! ;) (no orgies though, I promise -- read on safely :P)*

O Venetia! Thou hast utterly captured my soul!



"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

And a Damerel by any other name would be just as swoon-worthy!



"I will be calm. I will be mistress of myself."

Because my name is Venetia and I'm one of the most wonderful heroines in all literature. I have lived one of the dreamiest romances possible, and have remained perfectly poised and ladylike through the whole thing, without seeming aloof or uninterested. I am simply awesome, that is all. I am sorry that no one else is ever going to have a romance as breathtakingly beautiful as mine. ;)

"I am determined that nothing but the deepest love could ever induce me into matrimony."

OK, Anne. I know Venetia has completely addled your brain, but there is no need to start quoting classic literature like some foolish bluestocking. You'll never be able to pull it off as swiftly as Damerel and Venetia. NOTHING COULD EVER COMPARE TO DAMEREL AND VENETIA.


(Yes, I know, I know, I use N&S gifs WAY TOO MUCH. But I don't CARE. It's PERFECT here. #sorrynotsorry)

Quite simply, this book is exquisitely sublime. No amount of words to describe its peaceful, quiet beauty and entrancing depth would ever be sufficient. This is a masterpiece of the first order. Possibly Heyer's best novel in terms of perfectly blended substance and romanticism. I.Just.Love.It.

Everyone had been telling me to read this for ages. I knew I would love it, and was so excited to read it that a part of me did not want to read it too soon because...once you read it for the first time, you'll never read it again for the first time. Sure, re-reads are sometimes even better, but they're not the same. You already know just how swoony Damerel really is when you re-read it ;)

"Fair Fatality, you are the most unusual female I have encountered in all my thirty-eight years!" (finally Anne is quoting the right book!)

In what is assuredly the most famous “first encounter�� scene in all of Heyer’s books, a returning Lord Damerel looking devilishly handsome on his horse stumbles upon Venetia picking blackberries on his estate grounds, and immediately just starts throwing out quotes and kissing her ruthlessly, you know, like any normal landlord would do. And Venetia? She quotes back. I kid you not, this girl may be inexperienced, but she knows what’s up. You want to act like a cad? Well so be it.

"'[y]our quotations don’t make your advances a whit more acceptable to me �� and they don’t deceive me into thinking you anything but a pestilent complete knave!'"

And Damerel is all OH MY GOSH, SHE QUOTES BACK. SHE UNDERSTANDS. SHE’S THE ONE.

Thus it begins, my friends. One of the most beautiful romances I’ve ever read, solidly grounded on friendship, mutual understanding, and true love.

”’Or don’t you know how beautiful you are?��
‘Yes,�� replied Venetia, taking the wind out of his sails. ’Item, two lips, indifferent red �� ��
‘Oh no, you’re quite out, and have gone to the wrong poet besides! They look like rosebuds filled with snow!����



Aren’t they something??! What I wouldn’t give for such an encounter when I go blackberry-picking! Maybe I should try trespassing on some hot guy’s property? ;)

From that first meeting it is obvious that Damerel and Venetia are kindred spirits, and that probably no one else will understand them. Venetia may be “on the shelf��, sheltered in the country, inexperienced and optimistic, but she ain’t dumb. She’s not a chit who can’t tell love apart from attraction, or who is likely to have her head turned just because some swoony hot lord quotes poetry to her and calls her his “dear delight��. No. She falls for Damerel because he’s her soulmate, and she has sense enough to recognize that. Never mind that he’s the rakest rake in England, with a shocking past of wild orgies and seducing married women, or that he’s up to his eyeballs in debts. WHO CARES. VENETIA HAS FOUND A FRIEND. A real friend.

And no one understands. No one gets it. They all think Venetia is going to have her heart broken, that she doesn’t understand what Damerel is up to, that she’s too good and innocent to be with him. They warn her and counsel her and beg her to stay away from him, yet they never once ask her what she feels or what she thinks about him.

If only they knew how alike they are, and what good jokes they share. “OMG YOU’VE JUST HAD THE MOST DIVERTING THOUGHT??!!?!��

Their only ally is Venetia’s hilarious younger brother Aubrey, a smart and sassy scholarly boy who prefers books to people (see? People who prefer books usually understand people better! We know), and who had wonderfully good scenes and witty lines as sharp as rapiers.
The first part of the book passes by quietly, with autumn settling in and Damerel and Venetia being wrapped up in each other, being the best of friends and accomplices. Damerel takes to calling Venetia his “dear delight��, his “fair fatality��, “Admir'd Venetia�� and other similar heart-melting nicknames, he keeps telling her she is a beautiful, desirable creature, and that he wouldn’t at all mind kissing her again, and well everything is just so sigh-worthy that you never want it to end.

”’[…]he should have taken you in his arms, like this, and not as though he were a bear, bent on hugging you to death. Nor am I in favour of dabbing kisses all over a girl’s face. If you cannot persuade her, by a ruse, to look up, you should make her do so, with a hand under her chin �� thus, my dear delight!’���



BUT THEN, MRS. SCORRIER ENTERS THE PICTURE AND UTTERLY RUINS EVERYTHING.



She meddles, she disturbs everything at Undershaw, she insults Venetia, and she drives everybody batty. I will be honest, the bits about her and her interference in the house were pretty boring, and maybe a bit too long, but mostly, they were infuriating. She was intolerable.

But her arrival is also a catalyst that strikes up a series of unforeseen twists and turns, and the second half of the book is definitely more fast-paced and surprising than the first.

Having been pushed to her limits by Mrs. S., Venetia declares her intention of setting up house in London, which unwittingly prompts Damerel into a most moving love declaration, although interrupted by Aubrey (Aubrey interruption # 1 of about 5000!!), but that leaves you swooning nonetheless.

”’You call me your friend, but I never called you mine, and never shall! You remained, and always will, a beautiful, desirable creature!’���

Ooooh if only Aubrey hadn’t come in at that moment! And if Venetia’s uncle had never come to Yorkshire! How things would have been different!

But as it is, the aforementioned people DID meddle, and in one of the most poignant, heart-breaking scenes I’ve ever read in any romance novel, Damerel suddenly decides to act like the noblest of noble knights, and in so doing breaks Venetia’s heart (and mine!) and his own.

”’Well �� thus ends a charming autumn idyll, eh?’��



I just need to give Venetia a big hug.



I was so SHOCKED, so SPEECHLESS when I read that, that I basically dropped my book and sat there gaping for ages.

OH DAMEREL YOU INFURIATING DARLING. HOW COULD YOU!!!

Poor Venetia goes to London with her heart sunk to the lowest depths of despair, but still she’s no fool, and knows something must have happened to make Damerel suddenly change his mind when she had been so sure of his love. She just doesn’t know what.

But oh, when she finds out…oh, when she finds out, Damerel better WATCH IT. Oh, she ain’t gonna let him get away with his darned newfound chilvalry, OH HECK NO!

HE BETTER START STREWING THOSE BLASTED ROSE PETALS!!



ALL THE WAY TO YORKSHIRE!

Venetia: *bursts into Damerel’s dining room while he is quietly intoxicating himself*
Damerel: OH GOD, NO!!! (this is the actual line!! :P :P)
Venetia : OH GOD, YES!! Why do you have to be drunk just now??
Damerel : ASJFKJLKJLK VENETIA!!! VENETIA, IT’S VENETIA! VEEEEEENEEEEETIIIIIAAAAAAA!!!!
*passionate-kissing-fond-embraces-insert-disgusting-sounds-here*
Damerel : * reluctantly pulling away* Ohhhhh why did you come back??! Noooo!! I can’t DO THIS!!
Venetia : I need money to pay the driver, do you have your purse?
Damerel : Venetia, noooo, you weren’t supposed to come back, you can’t �� I can’t �� ARGH!
Venetia : Please, your purse, I really need to pay my driver!
Imber : *quietly coming in* Uuuhhhh��.miss? You don’t mean to stay here do you?
Venetia : Oh hell yes I am staying HERE! I have been anxiously traveling all day long just to get here, and now you think I’d go away? Uh-uh!!
Damerel : NOOOOOOO!!!
Venetia : YEEESSSSSS! AND I AM STARVING, SO PLEASE GET ME SOME FOOD!!
Damerel : Venetia, please no, YOU CAN’T!!
Venetia : Oh, I see, you have decided to be idiotish again, is that it???
Damerel : Awww “idiotish�� *sniff* I never though I would hear you say that again!
Venetia : Oh, I didn’t even notice I said it a lot! Must be quite a number of idiotish people in my life, LOL!
Damerel : Lol!! But��.you can’t stay here!
Venetia : Oh, come on, don’t start again, if you kick me out of your house, I am building me a cabin outside, and will probably die of an inflammation of the lungs, and it will be all your fault!
Marston : Heyyy, Venetia!! Good to see you!
Venetia : Hey, you too! But Damerel here isn’t happy to see me at all and threatens to kick me out!
Marston : No, what a jerk! Here, come upstairs with me.
Damerel : NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
***
Damerel : Alright, so, I have an idea, since you refuse to leave, I'LL leave and go to the inn, that way proprieties will be respected, and isn't that nice? I love proprieties :) And I love how you do your hair now! Very pretty!
Venetia : (Oooh man, is he ever difficult!) Well thank you!
Damerel : A la Sappho it's called right?
Venetia : Oh you wretch, do you know the names of all the types of coiffures??!
Damerel : Yup, pretty much! So, really now, what brought you here?
Venetia : Well duuuhhh, the mail-coach of course!!
Damerel : Don't sass me you little vixen! OHHHH WHY DID YOU COME!!
Venetia : (Ohhhh boy, here he goes again!) Why don't you just kiss me again and stop acting like such a stoopid??!
Damerel : NO! I DO NOT WANT TO KISS YOU! I WAS DRUNK, DARN IT!
Venetia : Aahhh never mind! My food has arrived :D :D
***
Mr. Hendred : Oh thank goodness I arrived just in time! Venetia! What the heck is this I hear about you wanting Damerel to strew rose petals all over for you?
Damerel : Hahahahaha!! At this season???
Venetia : Oh, shut up Damerel! You should've done it a long time ago, so hush!
Mr. Hendred : Or maybe she just didn't want you to indulge in such wasteful habits? I mean, who wastes rose petals like that???!!! But anyways that's NOT the point, the point is, I am here to prevent you from ruining yourself, Venetia!!
Damerel : Yes!!! I second the motion!
Venetia : *major eye roll* HOW ABOUT I TELL Y'ALL WHAT I WANT!! There is no need to overreact! Damerel may be a little older than me, but at least he won't turn out to be my father! ;)
Mr. Hendred : WHAT??!!!
Damerel : HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA OEDIPUS!!! But it's the other way around honey, YOU won't turn out to be MY mother!
Venetia : Oh, same thing! Be quiet!
Mr. Hendred : Geeee...I don't understand anything! Venetia, you seem to be living in a - in a, a....
Damerel : Soap-bubble?
Mr. Hendred : Yes!! Exactly! A soap-bubble!! Girl, WHAT IS GOING ON??
Venetia : Lol, if you think that I think Damerel is a fairytale hero, don't worry, I know he isn't!
Mr. Hendred : Ooooh Venetia, you don't understand! Damerel is a man of the world! He won't be able to reform all his shocking habits just for you! You will be made dreadfully unhappy!
Venetia : *eyes glinting* Well, my love?
Damerel : *eyes glinting back* Well, my dear delight?
Venetia : You'll continue to have orgies?
Damerel : What if I do? What will you do?
Venetia : Oh, I won't mind! I'll just...head up to bed or something!
Damerel : Oh. Wouldn't you want to...participate, maybe?
Venetia : Welll....do you think I'd enjoy myself? ;) ;) ;)
Damerel : OH YOU SHALL HAVE A SPLENDID ORGY JUST FOR YOU, MY DEAREST OF DEAR DELIGHTS!!!
Aubrey : *interrupting for the 5000th time* Heeeyyyy just wanted to ask, but...can we go to Greece for you guys' honeymoon??
Damerel : There won't be a honeymoon, because there won't be a wedding, because there hasn't been a proposal yet, BECAUSE YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING!!
Aubrey : Oh. Well, when you finally propose, can we go to Greece?
Damerel : In the middle of winter? You mad?
Aubrey : Well okay, then it had better be Rome. I would have preferred Greece, but we can go to Rome, and I think Venetia will like it. It's not my honeymoon after all!
Damerel : Just. Get. To. Bed.
Aubrey : Right! The proposal! Goodnight!
Damerel : FINALLY!!! PROPOSAL TIME!!



"'O God, I love you to the edge of madness Venetia!'"

Yes, I really do love you to the edge of madness, Venetia. This is undoubtedly one of my favourite books of all times. I want to buy a whole cart-full and walk around campus handing a copy to everybody. "Read this, it will make you feel better. Read this, it is simply phenomenal. READ IT, I SAY!!"

I could go on and on about this book for ages, but this review is already almost two months late, and no one probably even remembers that I read it. I am so sorry I took ages to write this review (again)! You can blame my addled brain. ;)

Buddy-read with Becca!! :D