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Same As It Ever Was
Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Fiction (2024)Julia Ames, after a youth marked by upheaval and emotional turbulence, has found herself on the placid plateau of mid-life. But Julia has never navigated the world with the equanimity of her current privileged class. Having nearly derailed herself several times, making desperate bids for the kind of connection that always felt inaccessible to her, she finally feels, at age fifty seven, that she has a firm handle on things.
She’s unprepared, though, for what comes next: a surprise announcement from her straight-arrow son, an impending separation from her spikey teenaged daughter, and a seductive resurgence of the past, all of which threaten to draw her back into the patterns that had previously kept her on a razor’s edge.
Same As It Ever Was traverses the rocky terrain of real life, —exploring new avenues of maternal ambivalence, intergenerational friendship, and the happenstantial cause-and-effect that governs us all. Delving even deeper into the nature of relationships—how they grow, change, and sometimes end—Lombardo proves herself a true and definitive cartographer of the human heart and asserts herself among the finest novelists of her generation.
She’s unprepared, though, for what comes next: a surprise announcement from her straight-arrow son, an impending separation from her spikey teenaged daughter, and a seductive resurgence of the past, all of which threaten to draw her back into the patterns that had previously kept her on a razor’s edge.
Same As It Ever Was traverses the rocky terrain of real life, —exploring new avenues of maternal ambivalence, intergenerational friendship, and the happenstantial cause-and-effect that governs us all. Delving even deeper into the nature of relationships—how they grow, change, and sometimes end—Lombardo proves herself a true and definitive cartographer of the human heart and asserts herself among the finest novelists of her generation.
498 pages, Hardcover
First published June 18, 2024
5,118 people are currently reading
101k people want to read
About the author
Claire Lombardo
4Ìýbooks2,750ÌýfollowersCLAIRE LOMBARDO earned her MFA in fiction at the Iowa Writers' Workshop. She was born and raised in Oak Park, Illinois, and spent several years doing social work in Chicago.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 4,356 reviews
February 7, 2025
I was eagerly anticipating one of the year's most highly anticipated literary fiction releases from the author of “The Most Fun We Ever Had�: a novel delving into the complexities of a dysfunctional family and the introspective journey of a middle-aged woman reconsidering her life choices during her husband's thirtieth birthday, marked by surprising announcements from her children.
The narrative takes us on a journey to meet Julia Ames, a 57-year-old librarian and mother of two: Ben, a 24-year-old, and Alma, a rebellious teenage daughter. Despite appearing to have the life she always dreamed of, Julia's chance encounter with an estranged friend, Helen Russo, at a luxury grocery store sets off a chain of events that unravels hidden secrets from their pasts.
As we delve deeper into Julia's world, we witness Alma's struggle to find her identity through various rebellious acts, while Ben's decision to marry his pregnant girlfriend at a young age prompts Julia to confront her own memories of youth. Throughout the story, Julia grapples with self-sabotage, mental health issues, and the challenges of balancing her roles as a mother and wife.
Like the author's previous works, I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the unconventional yet realistic dynamics of this family and the well-developed characters that feel like genuine individuals. The detailed and vivid descriptions add depth to the narrative, although the book's length and some slower-paced chapters prevented me from giving it a full five-star rating. Nonetheless, it remains one of the most finely crafted literary works of the year, deserving a spot on your reading list.
I extend my sincere gratitude to NetGalley and Doubleday Books for providing me with the opportunity to read and review an ARC copy of this highly anticipated literary fiction book.
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The narrative takes us on a journey to meet Julia Ames, a 57-year-old librarian and mother of two: Ben, a 24-year-old, and Alma, a rebellious teenage daughter. Despite appearing to have the life she always dreamed of, Julia's chance encounter with an estranged friend, Helen Russo, at a luxury grocery store sets off a chain of events that unravels hidden secrets from their pasts.
As we delve deeper into Julia's world, we witness Alma's struggle to find her identity through various rebellious acts, while Ben's decision to marry his pregnant girlfriend at a young age prompts Julia to confront her own memories of youth. Throughout the story, Julia grapples with self-sabotage, mental health issues, and the challenges of balancing her roles as a mother and wife.
Like the author's previous works, I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the unconventional yet realistic dynamics of this family and the well-developed characters that feel like genuine individuals. The detailed and vivid descriptions add depth to the narrative, although the book's length and some slower-paced chapters prevented me from giving it a full five-star rating. Nonetheless, it remains one of the most finely crafted literary works of the year, deserving a spot on your reading list.
I extend my sincere gratitude to NetGalley and Doubleday Books for providing me with the opportunity to read and review an ARC copy of this highly anticipated literary fiction book.
Follow me on medium.com to read my articles about books, movies, streaming series, astrology:
April 3, 2024
Andddd I’m sobbing
Lombardo has absolutely done it again. Same as it Ever Was is another breathtakingly observant family drama centering on a marriage ripe with years together, children to care for into adulthood, and secrets. Not thriller-esque secrets, but rather the ones that permeate most suburbs yet are very rarely explored nor revealed.
I’m not saying every family will relate to the exact situations/secrets in this book, but I’m certain most will relate to something here. Lombardo has a very specific way of exposing the universality of imperfections and takes us deeper into the motivations of characters than most. So much so I didn’t want to leave these characters even after 500 pages. I’m absolutely bereft.
Lombardo has absolutely done it again. Same as it Ever Was is another breathtakingly observant family drama centering on a marriage ripe with years together, children to care for into adulthood, and secrets. Not thriller-esque secrets, but rather the ones that permeate most suburbs yet are very rarely explored nor revealed.
I’m not saying every family will relate to the exact situations/secrets in this book, but I’m certain most will relate to something here. Lombardo has a very specific way of exposing the universality of imperfections and takes us deeper into the motivations of characters than most. So much so I didn’t want to leave these characters even after 500 pages. I’m absolutely bereft.
February 19, 2025
CL is quite talented at creating stories that explore multi-dimensional family dynamics, focusing on the complexities of marriage, parenthood, sibling bonds and family ties.
the thing is, when it comes to long family sagas, i need to have a character to latch onto in order to make it through the often plotless narrative. and, with this particular novel, julia is just not a character that is easy to like. based on her actions, i failed to have any sympathy for her right from the beginning and she never redeemed herself in my eyes by the end. so it was difficult to care about her, and thus care about the story. none of the other characters are particularly memorable either.
so while i do enjoy CLs writing and the themes she focuses on, i failed to connect with the main character and her life. CLs previous book, “the most fun we ever had,� discusses the same themes, only better, so i would recommend that over this.
� 2.5 stars
the thing is, when it comes to long family sagas, i need to have a character to latch onto in order to make it through the often plotless narrative. and, with this particular novel, julia is just not a character that is easy to like. based on her actions, i failed to have any sympathy for her right from the beginning and she never redeemed herself in my eyes by the end. so it was difficult to care about her, and thus care about the story. none of the other characters are particularly memorable either.
so while i do enjoy CLs writing and the themes she focuses on, i failed to connect with the main character and her life. CLs previous book, “the most fun we ever had,� discusses the same themes, only better, so i would recommend that over this.
� 2.5 stars
June 20, 2024
did not enjoy
I disliked the central character Julia so much that I never enjoyed the book. I tried—I soldiered through the book because I did enjoy The Most Fun We Ever Had by this author—but for me it was so depressing and frustrating to read about Julia that for only the second time in my life I cannot leave a positive review.
I disliked the central character Julia so much that I never enjoyed the book. I tried—I soldiered through the book because I did enjoy The Most Fun We Ever Had by this author—but for me it was so depressing and frustrating to read about Julia that for only the second time in my life I cannot leave a positive review.
June 12, 2024
Don’t be misled by the weary tone of the title “Same As It Ever Was.� This is a big novel, engaging enough to entertain you through the summer and thoughtful enough to justify its considerable heft. While many novels are too long, “Same As It Ever Was� takes full advantage of its 500 pages to traverse the whole life of Julia Ames, a woman who makes peace with motherhood slowly and haphazardly.
The story comes to us in two twisted strands, a double helix of past and present. As the wife of an adoring husband and the mother of a bright preschooler, Julia should be enjoying languid days of maternal bliss. But instead, Lombardo writes, “she felt entirely unmoored, brooding, usually while staring pensively into the middle distance like a disenfranchised Victorian nursemaid.� There’s no use complaining, of course, not when her husband, Mark, has to work so hard. “Mark was more vocally allowed to rue his responsibilities; that was just the way the world worked.� Julia, meanwhile, must uncomplainingly endure “the loneliness of motherhood; the deadly ennui of the day-in-day-out.�
This is, indeed, the same as it ever was, but Lombardo’s witty, sympathetic take on motherhood exudes the sharp scent of fermented apple juice and a full diaper. “It was a cliché to be this person,� Julia realizes, which only makes her self-pity sting more. “She got. . . .
To read the rest of this review, go to The Washington Post:
The story comes to us in two twisted strands, a double helix of past and present. As the wife of an adoring husband and the mother of a bright preschooler, Julia should be enjoying languid days of maternal bliss. But instead, Lombardo writes, “she felt entirely unmoored, brooding, usually while staring pensively into the middle distance like a disenfranchised Victorian nursemaid.� There’s no use complaining, of course, not when her husband, Mark, has to work so hard. “Mark was more vocally allowed to rue his responsibilities; that was just the way the world worked.� Julia, meanwhile, must uncomplainingly endure “the loneliness of motherhood; the deadly ennui of the day-in-day-out.�
This is, indeed, the same as it ever was, but Lombardo’s witty, sympathetic take on motherhood exudes the sharp scent of fermented apple juice and a full diaper. “It was a cliché to be this person,� Julia realizes, which only makes her self-pity sting more. “She got. . . .
To read the rest of this review, go to The Washington Post:
June 27, 2024
I wonder if I'm missing something because while Same As It Ever Was was a totally decent novel, pleasant to read most of the time due to Claire Lombardo's excellent writing and the way the book is built (going back and forth in time in a very clever way), I don't understand all the gushing reviews.
First and foremost, it was too long, you could have cut 100 to 150 pages off and it would have been fine. This book didn't need to be 500 pages long and I think that's why it felt so drawn-out and too slow.
I understand self-sabotage, I really do, but at some point I just couldn't stand Julia's self-defeating behavior. She's got reasons to be this way, but maybe we've learnt them too late to be able to cheer for her. I don't need the MC to be likeable to enjoy a book but I need to understand the character's reasons to be unpleasant or, in this case, so negative.
I make it sound like I had a bad time reading Same As It Ever Was, I didn't (I wouldn't have finished such a long book if I hated it), many of its themes resonated with me and I really enjoyed quite a lot the way Claire Lombardo played with time, but it just dragged too much to earn more than 3 stars.
Also I liked how Susan (Suzanne?) the dog was very present and a real character of her own.
First and foremost, it was too long, you could have cut 100 to 150 pages off and it would have been fine. This book didn't need to be 500 pages long and I think that's why it felt so drawn-out and too slow.
I understand self-sabotage, I really do, but at some point I just couldn't stand Julia's self-defeating behavior. She's got reasons to be this way, but maybe we've learnt them too late to be able to cheer for her. I don't need the MC to be likeable to enjoy a book but I need to understand the character's reasons to be unpleasant or, in this case, so negative.
I make it sound like I had a bad time reading Same As It Ever Was, I didn't (I wouldn't have finished such a long book if I hated it), many of its themes resonated with me and I really enjoyed quite a lot the way Claire Lombardo played with time, but it just dragged too much to earn more than 3 stars.
Also I liked how Susan (Suzanne?) the dog was very present and a real character of her own.
June 25, 2024
Insufferable novel. 500 pages of the internal monologue of one of the most unsympathetic protagonists I’ve ever encountered. I’m halfway through and am finished. Could care less what happens to this miserable, unhinged, unhappy, miserable woman. Her character and the author’s constant use of metaphors as well as distracting semi-colons littering every page like birdseed spilling out the sides of a cage housing a maladjusted parrot who screeches at everyone who walks in the room; as if they’re there to kidnap him or worse set him loose; because he got free once and it so traumatized him that he needs daily medication (see what I did there?) is more than I can take. Why do people read this soap-operish drivel?
July 4, 2024
5 stars. Absolute perfection. Cannot think of a better author to describe the spectrum of emotions of marriage and motherhood than Claire Lombardo.
Want to read
December 11, 2024every once in a while i just think i'm destined to like a book
June 23, 2024
my favourite book of the year. i'm actually sobbing right now. claire lombardo does it again.
May 10, 2024
Ugh! Stopped reading this book at page 139. Just couldn't read this book anymore. Hated the main character Julia and just didn't care at all about the story.
December 5, 2024
After loving The Most Fun We Ever Had, I was excited to read Same As It Ever Was, and it did not disappoint!
Julia is 57 years old and by all accounts, has a good life. She goes to the grocery store one day and is thrown for a loop when she sees someone from her past. If that wasn’t enough, Julia’s young adult son surprises her and her husband with an unexpected announcement. Julia’s daughter is wrapping up her senior year of high school and their relationship can be prickly.
Julia tries to accept all these changes while reflecting on the past and attempting to resist some of her previous patterns. I can see why many readers didn’t care for her, but I liked her, and most of the other characters in the story. Readers get a glimpse of why Julia behaves the way she does. The characters felt authentic � Not perfect, but real and genuine, with both highs and lows.
Same As It Ever Was is a great family drama. It includes elements of marriage, motherhood, friendship, and more. I took my time reading it, really liking the story while also not wanting it to end, yet appreciating the ending too.
Julia is 57 years old and by all accounts, has a good life. She goes to the grocery store one day and is thrown for a loop when she sees someone from her past. If that wasn’t enough, Julia’s young adult son surprises her and her husband with an unexpected announcement. Julia’s daughter is wrapping up her senior year of high school and their relationship can be prickly.
Julia tries to accept all these changes while reflecting on the past and attempting to resist some of her previous patterns. I can see why many readers didn’t care for her, but I liked her, and most of the other characters in the story. Readers get a glimpse of why Julia behaves the way she does. The characters felt authentic � Not perfect, but real and genuine, with both highs and lows.
Same As It Ever Was is a great family drama. It includes elements of marriage, motherhood, friendship, and more. I took my time reading it, really liking the story while also not wanting it to end, yet appreciating the ending too.
July 24, 2024
This book was so long and so slow. The first 80% was (to me) basically about a whiny housewife and mother. Every one has hardship, good and bad days, but most people get past it and move on. This woman has a lovely home, a loving and VERY understanding husband and two healthy children! I could not connect with this character at all!
It wasn’t until the last 20% that the story picked up. I could finally appreciate the good writing (and the writing is good) because I wasn’t falling asleep. I actually enjoyed it a little. I am obviously in the minority on this one but I gave it my best shot and I finished it.
It wasn’t until the last 20% that the story picked up. I could finally appreciate the good writing (and the writing is good) because I wasn’t falling asleep. I actually enjoyed it a little. I am obviously in the minority on this one but I gave it my best shot and I finished it.
July 1, 2024
I’ll write a review if I ever stop crying
August 21, 2024
Thank you, @doubledaybooks, for the gifted book. Thank you, as well, @bibliobeth, for buddy reading one of my favorite books this year.
Wow…za� Julia Ames has to be one of the unique characters I’ve ever experienced, and I loved her for that. I knew she had a story, one that was truly novel. Claire Lombardo’s writing absorbs the reader. Nothing is boring. Everything has purpose, even with a chunky almost 500 pages. The chapters alternate between past and present, and I adored every facet, every nuance.
At heart of it all is its realness. Julia simply has to be real. Someone experiencing an almost empty nest, the trials of marriage, the scars from an unusual early life; all while seeking understanding and connection, and at the same time, holding herself back. Julia’s friendship with Helen captivated me. Helen captivated me. Mark, Julia’s husband, was equally phenomenal; just so good, understanding, even-keeled, constant. Julia’s children - love how they were explored. How Julia found some healing with her connection to Sunny, Ben’s fiancé.
While very different from me in most ways, the way the story is told makes aspects of Julia so entirely relatable. It became easier to step inside her shoes once I knew her, and with such an intimate portrait, how could you now know her, in the end? There’s so much to love here, so many shifting dynamics, including long marriages, mother-daughter relationships, mothers and sons, mothering of adult children, and the role of Suzanne in the story deserves mention, too. It’s just all so very, very good. And smart. So emotionally smart and resonant.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: and instagram:
Wow…za� Julia Ames has to be one of the unique characters I’ve ever experienced, and I loved her for that. I knew she had a story, one that was truly novel. Claire Lombardo’s writing absorbs the reader. Nothing is boring. Everything has purpose, even with a chunky almost 500 pages. The chapters alternate between past and present, and I adored every facet, every nuance.
At heart of it all is its realness. Julia simply has to be real. Someone experiencing an almost empty nest, the trials of marriage, the scars from an unusual early life; all while seeking understanding and connection, and at the same time, holding herself back. Julia’s friendship with Helen captivated me. Helen captivated me. Mark, Julia’s husband, was equally phenomenal; just so good, understanding, even-keeled, constant. Julia’s children - love how they were explored. How Julia found some healing with her connection to Sunny, Ben’s fiancé.
While very different from me in most ways, the way the story is told makes aspects of Julia so entirely relatable. It became easier to step inside her shoes once I knew her, and with such an intimate portrait, how could you now know her, in the end? There’s so much to love here, so many shifting dynamics, including long marriages, mother-daughter relationships, mothers and sons, mothering of adult children, and the role of Suzanne in the story deserves mention, too. It’s just all so very, very good. And smart. So emotionally smart and resonant.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: and instagram:
September 20, 2024
Middle aged Julia shares her struggles with her mother,marriage, and being a mother. It describes the joys, doubts, loneliness, and mistakes that can come with this area.
December 13, 2024
To start with the positive, I thought this book had some interesting commentary about motherhood and marriage within the idealized “suburban� lifestyle. Claire Lombardo did a nice job of highlighting how this aspirational suburban, heteronormative way of life can come with its own challenges. She addresses discontent in one’s marriage, unresolved intergenerational wounds, and what happens when one of your kid’s lives doesn’t go in the direction you thought it would.
Unfortunately I found the writing style pretentious and distracting. In my opinion the book was a lot longer than it needed to be and on the sentence level I just was not pulled in by the prose. For example there were many unnecessary adverbs and other elements of the writing that came across as juvenile. Overall, not a book I would recommend.
Unfortunately I found the writing style pretentious and distracting. In my opinion the book was a lot longer than it needed to be and on the sentence level I just was not pulled in by the prose. For example there were many unnecessary adverbs and other elements of the writing that came across as juvenile. Overall, not a book I would recommend.
January 12, 2025
This book sat on my to-read list for months. It was highly reviewed but every time I looked at it, with its bland cover and title and summary, I thought, "Do I want to spend 500 pages with some woman in the suburbs who doesn't know why she's sad?" I finally pulled the trigger and I'm so glad I did because this is such an emotionally rich novel. 2024 was a year of these surprisingly emotionally rich novels, and while it did not have quite the high concept of the other books I'd put in this bucket (PIGLET, THE HUSBANDS, THE WEDDING PEOPLE) it was the richest of them. The lack of a high concept, just being the story of a person, lets us dive so deeply into her. I was glad for all 500 pages.
On paper this sounds so boring. I particularly despise books that start with that character who has a perfect life. And Julia does. She has a wonderful husband, wonderful children, a job she enjoys, and a more than comfortable lifestyle. The problem is that Julia has never believed she is capable of giving or receiving love. She holds deep inside her a self-loathing she has never fully confronted, and she walks through this perfect life on tiptoe, constantly sure that she is doing it wrong and that it will all just go away. And maybe it should go away. Through this novel we learn just how deep all this goes, we see the childhood that created it, we see the incidents of extreme self-sabotage that almost destroyed it, and we see Julia constantly suspicious of the good things in her life even after she has worked so hard to get them.
Who cares if Julia's life on paper is boring? Most are. But when you care about a person (or a character) it becomes interesting, when a writer can present this person to you without the sheen she presents to the rest of the world, shows her to you with all the miserable thoughts she has about herself that she never shows to anyone, it is a deeply intimate and beautiful experience. I see reviews for this book that dislike it because they dislike Julia. And I get it. Julia is often unlikable, she makes many bad choices, she is riddled with self-doubt. She's also darkly funny and absolutely capable of the deep emotions she is sure she doesn't have. She is interesting because of how fully drawn she is.
Along with this close character analysis, we also get to see a very long portrait of a marriage. And we get a look at the long and difficult relationship with an emotionally unavailable parent. There's been a lot of generational trauma narratives lately, and I appreciated how Lombardo doesn't make this a Just Forgive Your Mom story, nothing is that simple. Things don't just work out. People don't just live happily ever after. And the trappings of your life are not who you are. I desperately wanted Julia to go to therapy, but I just enjoyed getting to understand her so well.
On paper this sounds so boring. I particularly despise books that start with that character who has a perfect life. And Julia does. She has a wonderful husband, wonderful children, a job she enjoys, and a more than comfortable lifestyle. The problem is that Julia has never believed she is capable of giving or receiving love. She holds deep inside her a self-loathing she has never fully confronted, and she walks through this perfect life on tiptoe, constantly sure that she is doing it wrong and that it will all just go away. And maybe it should go away. Through this novel we learn just how deep all this goes, we see the childhood that created it, we see the incidents of extreme self-sabotage that almost destroyed it, and we see Julia constantly suspicious of the good things in her life even after she has worked so hard to get them.
Who cares if Julia's life on paper is boring? Most are. But when you care about a person (or a character) it becomes interesting, when a writer can present this person to you without the sheen she presents to the rest of the world, shows her to you with all the miserable thoughts she has about herself that she never shows to anyone, it is a deeply intimate and beautiful experience. I see reviews for this book that dislike it because they dislike Julia. And I get it. Julia is often unlikable, she makes many bad choices, she is riddled with self-doubt. She's also darkly funny and absolutely capable of the deep emotions she is sure she doesn't have. She is interesting because of how fully drawn she is.
Along with this close character analysis, we also get to see a very long portrait of a marriage. And we get a look at the long and difficult relationship with an emotionally unavailable parent. There's been a lot of generational trauma narratives lately, and I appreciated how Lombardo doesn't make this a Just Forgive Your Mom story, nothing is that simple. Things don't just work out. People don't just live happily ever after. And the trappings of your life are not who you are. I desperately wanted Julia to go to therapy, but I just enjoyed getting to understand her so well.
September 24, 2024
Loved every minute of this book. A lot of the characters were relatively unlikeable, but I kind of love that. It made them seem more human with real life problems. I am more interested in books that have relatable content. This book did. Really well written. Narration on audio was excellent! Really enjoyed this one. One of the top reads of 2024 for sure!
September 19, 2024
An overly long book with a difficult-to-like cast of characters. Thought of giving it up several times but kept hoping for something redemptive. I loved Claire Lombardo's previous book, The Most Fun We Ever Had, but I can't say the same for this one. This was a
disappointment after giving 5 stars to her debut novel.
disappointment after giving 5 stars to her debut novel.
February 19, 2024
Messy, beautiful family that feels like real life. If I didn’t know better I’d think Claire Lombardo was eavesdropping on my own life. I felt so seen as a wife and mother. This book is a saga at over 500 pages but it’s so real, painful and funny that you won’t be able to put it down.
May 26, 2024
(free review copy) ETA: I came back and rated this five stars because I just can't stop thinking about it. Lombardo worms her way into my heart and brain and simply settles in, and for that, she deserves the highest rating from me.
ORIGINAL REVIEW
Please don't mind this very very meandering and incoherent review in the immediate aftermath of reading this book. I hope to clean it up in the future? Maybe?
Whew. I'm going to hold off on rating this one for a bit because I have spent such a long (relative) amount of time in the pages of this book and feeling so many complicated feelings about the main character Julia that I'm a bit muddled about how to come to a final verdict. Does the fact that I won't be able to stop thinking about the story and the relationships for a long time mean it's stellar? Or does the fact that I wanted to scream at Julia a million times, despite understanding that her childhood trauma impacted her adult choices, mean that it's not a favorite? This isn't an easy book to love, in my opinion, because it's so very messy. Julia is a mother and daughter and wife who has absolutely none of it figured out and who is very much trying and often feeling like she's failing and to some, HAS objectively failed. But who gets to call a marriage and mother a failure? I posit that it's only the spouse and child that gets to make that verdict.
If book clubs can agree to read such a tome of a meandering (and winding and time-hopping) story, I think this could make for amazing discussion. If you want easily understandable and loveable characters, I think this might be a tough one for you. If you want to wade through and revel in the quagmire of a traumatic childhood and how it impacts a woman for her entire life, THIS is the book for you. As the mother of teens and married for 19 years, I definitely connected with parts of this book, but had to draw on my understanding as an educator of trauma response to have empathy for many parts. It's not that I didn't LIKE Julia, it's just that it hurt me to read about her for so very much of the book. I feel like parts of me ARE Julia while other parts of me want to scream at Julia and parts of Julia are so many of the children I know and so I kind of want to mother Julia?? Confusing.
Also, I think Mark could have totally written , DAMN.
And yes this review is a hot mess.
Source: digital review copy via Edelweiss
ORIGINAL REVIEW
Please don't mind this very very meandering and incoherent review in the immediate aftermath of reading this book. I hope to clean it up in the future? Maybe?
Whew. I'm going to hold off on rating this one for a bit because I have spent such a long (relative) amount of time in the pages of this book and feeling so many complicated feelings about the main character Julia that I'm a bit muddled about how to come to a final verdict. Does the fact that I won't be able to stop thinking about the story and the relationships for a long time mean it's stellar? Or does the fact that I wanted to scream at Julia a million times, despite understanding that her childhood trauma impacted her adult choices, mean that it's not a favorite? This isn't an easy book to love, in my opinion, because it's so very messy. Julia is a mother and daughter and wife who has absolutely none of it figured out and who is very much trying and often feeling like she's failing and to some, HAS objectively failed. But who gets to call a marriage and mother a failure? I posit that it's only the spouse and child that gets to make that verdict.
If book clubs can agree to read such a tome of a meandering (and winding and time-hopping) story, I think this could make for amazing discussion. If you want easily understandable and loveable characters, I think this might be a tough one for you. If you want to wade through and revel in the quagmire of a traumatic childhood and how it impacts a woman for her entire life, THIS is the book for you. As the mother of teens and married for 19 years, I definitely connected with parts of this book, but had to draw on my understanding as an educator of trauma response to have empathy for many parts. It's not that I didn't LIKE Julia, it's just that it hurt me to read about her for so very much of the book. I feel like parts of me ARE Julia while other parts of me want to scream at Julia and parts of Julia are so many of the children I know and so I kind of want to mother Julia?? Confusing.
Also, I think Mark could have totally written , DAMN.
And yes this review is a hot mess.
Source: digital review copy via Edelweiss
July 8, 2024
A DEEP dive into the malaise of a woman and her marriage, this book is way too wordy and long. Where was the editor? The fact that the characters are white and upper middle class makes it seem whiny. Sure she had a difficult mother/childhood, but who didn't? Not really sure what Lombardo's purpose was here; the story doesn't rise above the level of melodrama.
September 22, 2024
Julia Ames is 57 when she runs into her one-time confidante, Helen Russo, at the grocery store. It’s been over 20 years since Julia sat in Helen’s house confiding in her about her struggles as a lonely stay-at-home mom to her young son, Ben. After Julia made a huge mistake that nearly cost her marriage to her devoted husband, Mark, Julia abruptly ended her friendship with Helen. Helen, now almost 80, briefly exchanges pleasantries with Julia before the two split ways. Julia leaves with both a longing for the friendship they once shared along with a sense of relief for the bullet she barely dodged as a troubled young mother when she was under Helen’s wing.
It’s difficult to write a review about a story I didn’t love with a protagonist I truly could not stand, but nonetheless found myself appreciate for other reasons. Claire Lombardo’s writing is authentic and her characters are well-fleshed out. Told through various timelines, the dynamics between Julia and Mark are complicated at best. While Mark is calm, patient, and loving, Julia is deeply cynical, often angry, and quick to find fault with every situation she’s thrust into. We eventually learn that Julia’s mother is an utter POS and that Julia has a history of neglect and abuse to work through. She aspires to be the kind of mother she never had, but her willingness to play a part in her own recovery is severely lacking.
Julia’s lack of growth grew tiresome and her relatability began and ended with her loneliness as a young stay-at-home mom with Ben. I found her treatment of Mark to veer more toward verbal abuse than occasional resentment throughout the story. I was sensitive to the abuse and neglect Julia suffered from her mother as a child and also as an adult (but why did she keep trying to bring her back in!?). And while we aren’t responsible for the people who hurt us, we are ultimately responsible for our own recovery and subsequent treatment of others.
It’s difficult to write a review about a story I didn’t love with a protagonist I truly could not stand, but nonetheless found myself appreciate for other reasons. Claire Lombardo’s writing is authentic and her characters are well-fleshed out. Told through various timelines, the dynamics between Julia and Mark are complicated at best. While Mark is calm, patient, and loving, Julia is deeply cynical, often angry, and quick to find fault with every situation she’s thrust into. We eventually learn that Julia’s mother is an utter POS and that Julia has a history of neglect and abuse to work through. She aspires to be the kind of mother she never had, but her willingness to play a part in her own recovery is severely lacking.
Julia’s lack of growth grew tiresome and her relatability began and ended with her loneliness as a young stay-at-home mom with Ben. I found her treatment of Mark to veer more toward verbal abuse than occasional resentment throughout the story. I was sensitive to the abuse and neglect Julia suffered from her mother as a child and also as an adult (but why did she keep trying to bring her back in!?). And while we aren’t responsible for the people who hurt us, we are ultimately responsible for our own recovery and subsequent treatment of others.
June 28, 2024
I was so excited for this book because I loved The Most Fun We Ever Had so much. I wish this story was told from multiple perspectives like her last book, because being in Julia’s head for 500 pages was a real drag. She doesn’t like anyone, including herself, makes terrible decisions and says the rudest things “without meaning to� over and over again. She’s always complaining that she doesn’t understand social rules or emotions but never gets help�??? A let down unfortunately.
August 8, 2024
I immediately put my hold in at the library for this one after loving The Most Fun We Ever Had (the multitude of houses on the cover was just a bonus here). I went into it blind without reading the blurb or any reviews, but I couldn’t help but notice all my Å·±¦ÓéÀÖâ€� friends and their plethora of Stars which had me like . . . .
I was REALLY afraid I was going to be a wrongreader because the one thing I simply can’t abide by in either real life or fiction is an extramarital affair. I mean it’s just so easy to NOT have one, you know???? And judge me all you want for being holier than thou, but I can’t personally think of a justification of why it would ever be okay. But really nothing is so much of a dealbreaker for me that I won’t continue reading a book and I am so glad I did.
Affair aside, I loved this novel. The “mommy issues� � the intergenerational friendship � the soon-to-be empty nester middle-age leading lady, and even the “things we never get over� made for an absolutely fantastic read. And Jules� ended up being someone I loved and totally could relate to for the most part . . .
“You want to get some dinner? What are you in the mood for?�
Xanax. An entire pack of cigarettes. Several horse tranquilizers.
I ended up reading Sandwich right after this by pure coincidence. They shared many of the same themes and I’m disappointed in myself to report they both . . . .
Highly recommend each of them.
March 31, 2024
I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH - 500 STARS
Claire Lombardo is a magician. I wasn't sure how she was going to match The Most Fun We Ever Had (which is one of my favorite books ever - I enthusiastically read all 500+ pages twice), and don't worry, folks - she KILLED IT. In Same As It Ever Was, she captures every complicated, messy emotion of marriage and family life and friendship and motherhood so perfectly. I feel like all of these people are real, and that some of them might be me. I laughed and cried and never wanted this book to end. I'm already looking forward to reading it again when I pick it for bookclub.
This was one of my most-anticipated books of 2024 and is absolutely one of my favorites. READ THIS!
* thank you so much to Doubleday for the NetGalley review copy. SAME AS IT EVER WAS publishes June 18, 2024.
Claire Lombardo is a magician. I wasn't sure how she was going to match The Most Fun We Ever Had (which is one of my favorite books ever - I enthusiastically read all 500+ pages twice), and don't worry, folks - she KILLED IT. In Same As It Ever Was, she captures every complicated, messy emotion of marriage and family life and friendship and motherhood so perfectly. I feel like all of these people are real, and that some of them might be me. I laughed and cried and never wanted this book to end. I'm already looking forward to reading it again when I pick it for bookclub.
This was one of my most-anticipated books of 2024 and is absolutely one of my favorites. READ THIS!
* thank you so much to Doubleday for the NetGalley review copy. SAME AS IT EVER WAS publishes June 18, 2024.
June 23, 2024
I spent hours reading this and just had to stop at 25%. The MC was just ugh. I wished she would just go away because all the other characters were great. A joyless time suck.
May 1, 2024
3.5â� (rounded up) My first book by Claire Lombardo and I enjoyed it. It was a long one, so I took my time. It's a family saga, and the story of a middle age mom, Julia, with two grown children and a seemingly happy life. Yet she deals with struggles of her own. You'll read about her relationships and challenges with her marriage, her children and her own mother. This is more about Julia and character driven than about the plot. It's very realistic and I felt so sad for Julia in parts of this book. I enjoyed reading about Julia's relationship with her children and the problems she's dealt with in her marriage. Like I said though, this book definitely was on the long side and I feel it could've been shorter. I do think the audiobook would've been a big help with this one. But overall an interesting family story.
June 27, 2024
DNF at 35% (where she decided to go with the guy to the lake house).
It’s not easy being in the MC’s head, watching her making one stupid decision after another without any good justification (other than whatever her mum did?), granted I’ve never been good with unlikable characters.
Then she decides to go to the lake house, I just thought that’s enough�.
It’s not easy being in the MC’s head, watching her making one stupid decision after another without any good justification (other than whatever her mum did?), granted I’ve never been good with unlikable characters.
Then she decides to go to the lake house, I just thought that’s enough�.
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