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352 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 1986
�Half the time I think he doesn’t care what happens to anyone as long as he’s all right� but then I find out how awfully kind he’s been to someone. Then I think he’s kind just when it suits him—only then I find out he undercharges poor people.�
“Annoyed?� said Sophie. “Why should I be annoyed? Someone only filled the castle with rotten aspic, and deafened everyone in Porthaven, and scared Calcifer to a cinder, and broke a few hundred hearts. Why should that annoy me?�
“Well, he’s fickle, careless, selfish, and hysterical,� she said. “Half the time I think he doesn’t care what happens to anyone as long as he’s all right� but then I find out how awfully kind he’s been to someone. Then I think he’s kind just when it suits him—only then I find out he undercharges poor people. I don’t know, Your Majesty. He’s a mess.�