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336 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1986
鈥�Half the time I think he doesn鈥檛 care what happens to anyone as long as he鈥檚 all right鈥� but then I find out how awfully kind he鈥檚 been to someone. Then I think he鈥檚 kind just when it suits him鈥攐nly then I find out he undercharges poor people.鈥�
鈥淎nnoyed?鈥� said Sophie. 鈥淲hy should I be annoyed? Someone only filled the castle with rotten aspic, and deafened everyone in Porthaven, and scared Calcifer to a cinder, and broke a few hundred hearts. Why should that annoy me?鈥�
鈥淲ell, he鈥檚 fickle, careless, selfish, and hysterical,鈥� she said. 鈥淗alf the time I think he doesn鈥檛 care what happens to anyone as long as he鈥檚 all right鈥� but then I find out how awfully kind he鈥檚 been to someone. Then I think he鈥檚 kind just when it suits him鈥攐nly then I find out he undercharges poor people. I don鈥檛 know, Your Majesty. He鈥檚 a mess.鈥�