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Gamz > Gamz's Quotes

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#1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

147265 likes

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#2

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9757 likes

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#3

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

tags: humor, work

8148 likes

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#4

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain

tags: decisions, humor, mind

1192 likes

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#5

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34476 likes

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#6

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

tags: humor

26434 likes

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#7

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28751 likes

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#8

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6690 likes

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#9

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: humor

2745 likes

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#10

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

tags: absurd, beauty, conceit, humor, love

1798 likes

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#11

“I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
― Rudyard Kipling, Under The Deodars

tags: humor, justification, mistakes, pretexts

696 likes

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#12

“This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.”
― Ben Elton, Bachelor Boys: The Young Ones Book

tags: humor, violence, vyvyan

390 likes

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#13

“There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

tags: fluke, humor

395 likes

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#14

“It's hard to be a bright light in a dim world.”
― Gary Starta

tags: dim, light, prolific, shine

346 likes

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#15

“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”
― Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

tags: humor

207 likes

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#16

“It'd Be a Lot Cooler If You Did.”
― Matthew McConaughey

tags: humor

112 likes

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#17

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
― C.E.M. Joad

tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased

13063 likes

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#18

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9083 likes

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#19

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
― Lily Tomlin

tags: humor, life, rat-race

1679 likes

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#20

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”
― D. J. MacHale, The Quillan Games

tags: clowns, humor, people

1399 likes

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#21

“When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
― Herman Wouk

tags: danger, humor

1193 likes

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#22

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
― George Bernard Shaw, Immaturity

tags: family, humor

1392 likes

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#23

“As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.”
― Tad Williams

tags: humor

436 likes

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#24

“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
― Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor

462 likes

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#25

“I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.”
― Flannery O'Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O'Connor

tags: humor, wit

1132 likes

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#26

“Everything not forbidden is compulsory”
― T.H. White, The Once and Future King

tags: absurd, government, humor, totalitarianism

223 likes

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#27

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32094 likes

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#28

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
― Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity

12691 likes

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#29

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn鈥檛 know.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, knowledge

6883 likes

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#30

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: humor, reason

2513 likes

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Tags From Gamz鈥檚 Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
inspirational
work
decisions
mind
cats
women
death
life
absurd
beauty
conceit
love
justification
mistakes
pretexts
violence
vyvyan
fluke
dim
light
prolific
shine
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
politics
rat-race
clowns
people
danger
family
wit
government
totalitarianism
deadlines
humour
writing
insanity
knowledge
reason