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Lisa Richard > Lisa Richard's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    147347 likes

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  • #2
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    118275 likes

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  • #3
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64450 likes

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  • #4
    Jane Austen
    “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
    ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
    tags: aliteracy, books, classic, humor
    51364 likes

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  • #5
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37936 likes

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  • #6
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35225 likes

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  • #7
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34472 likes

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  • #8
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32097 likes

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  • #9
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30158 likes

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  • #10
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28752 likes

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  • #11
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    tags: humor
    26435 likes

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  • #12
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26784 likes

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  • #13
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24402 likes

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  • #14
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25625 likes

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  • #15
    John Green
    “Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
    ― John Green
    tags: humor, nerdfighters
    21644 likes

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  • #16
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23106 likes

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  • #17
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23376 likes

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  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21364 likes

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  • #19
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22436 likes

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  • #20
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21104 likes

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  • #21
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18540 likes

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  • #22
    Suzanne Collins
    “Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
    ― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
    tags: humor
    17895 likes

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  • #23
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19786 likes

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  • #24
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19769 likes

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  • #25
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    tags: humor, sinister
    18707 likes

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  • #26
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15568 likes

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  • #27
    Jane Austen
    “A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
    ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
    tags: humor, love, romantic, women
    17962 likes

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  • #28
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13756 likes

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  • #29
    Lewis Carroll
    “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
    ― Lewis Carroll
    tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday
    17356 likes

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  • #30
    Daniel Handler
    “A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.”
    ― Daniel Handler
    tags: humor, ignorance, lemony-snicket, library
    287 likes



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Tags From Lisa Richard’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
life
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
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