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“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

“There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
― Mark Twain

“It is not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, but the fight in the dog that wins.”
― Arthur G. Lewis, Stub Ends of Thought and Verse

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
― Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle

“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”
― Robert J. Hanlon

“Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”
― Frank Scully

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.”
― Edgar Wilson Nye

“Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.”
― Mark Twain

“Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
― Anonymous

“A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.”
― Ossip Gabrilowitsch, Sedition