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“I went to the doctor," said the woman next to Ethel. "I said to him, 'I've got an itchy twat.'"

[...]
She went on: "The doctor says to me, he goes, 'You shouldn't say that, it's a rude word.'"

[...]

"I says to him, 'What should I say, then, doctor?' He says to me, 'Say you've got an itchy finger.'"

[...]

"He says to me, 'Do your finger itch you all the time, Mrs. Perkins, or just now and again?'"

Mildred paused, and the women were silent, waiting for the punch line.

"I says, 'No, doctor, only when I piss through it.”
― Ken Follett, Fall of Giants

“The fantasy of life;
When I was a child, I said ‘I can’t wait to grow up�.
When I was adult, I said ‘I miss childhood adventuresâ€�.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“When I make love to you, Lanie, I want you to feel every inch of me buried deep inside of you, loving you, worshiping your body...”
― Flora Roberts, Just A Step Away

“Oh, I don’t mean to infer that you’re not a great guy. I’m sure you’re the exception to the rule.”
― Jaye Frances, The Cruise - All That Glitters

“Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!

When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.”
― M.C. Lavocat, Control

“Adulting is too hard. Let's play something else.”
― Tanya Masse

“I was momentarily stunned by his odd announcement and told him as much. "Let’s just talk about the fact that you composed a sonnet to my vagina, shall we? You are sending off some major stalker vibes, which is odd because you’re gay. You are gay, right?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and waved his hand in the direction of his 'muse' as he stated, "I don't want any part of that thing. I just want to honor it for being the only known thing in existence to be touched by the dick of a god.”
― M.C. Lavocat, Control

“I'm going to make love to you, Lanie. I'm not your first, but I will be the last.”
― Flora Roberts, Just A Step Away

“Treasure the beauty of youthful life and the wisdom of adulthood.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“Once we were young, now we are adult.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“Nenneke felt the wound, washed it and began to curse. He already knew this routine by heart. She had started on the very first day, and had never failed to moan when she saw the marks left by the princess of Wyzim's talons.

'It's terrible! To let yourself be slashed like this by an ordinary striga. Muscles, tendons -- she only just missed your carotid artery! Great Melitele! Geralt, what's happening to you? How did she get so close to you? What did you want with her? To mount her?'

He didn't answer, and smiled faintly.”
― Andrzej Sapkowski, The Last Wish

“For a split second, I wondered if he were some type of sexy sorcerer, who was able to remove my clothing by the force of his will alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the buttons of his shirt, willing them to pop off.

It didn’t work. Then again, it was pretty hard to focus while he was touching me, so maybe under different circumstances, I too could be a sexy sorcerer. Watch out world.”
― M.C. Lavocat, Control

“The only options I have are a four fingered shuffle and an aging vibrator whose batteries, the last time I looked, were leaking a sticky liquid.
I long to do the same.�
Time Was by Paul Adams”
― Paul Adams

“Speak kindly to with adult women as you would to your mother.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

“I get better everyday, everyday I get better.”
― Joseph C. Reyes, Private Sessions: and the Sweaty Sexy Stories Behind the Sprawling Walls of the World's Most Luxurious Gym

“Pathetically though, some full-fledged adult bodies are just disguised entities where thoughts and actions of babies are trapped, not for purity but for stupidity.”
― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1

“i'm like a mirror

if you're cool with me, i'll be cool with you.
if you're cold with me, i'll be cold with you.
if you're naked with me, i'll be naked with you.”
― Sathish #@zZy

“It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum! We made it to Hollywood, time to give these aliens the golden boot!" - Angel from the Thousand Years War”
― Angel Ramon Medina, The Thousand Years War

“As a parent and grandparent, it’s my belief that parents are always responsible for just about everything, including breakdowns in communication with their children and finding
innovative ways to build bridges over troubled waters. When there’s just lots of troubled water and no bridges in sight, my take is that the parent must put their hand up and take responsibility. It’s called being an adult!”
― Roger Macdonald Andrew