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“I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it this once, because even now I want you to see it. I don't love you anymore, of course I don't, but there's still something I can show you. You know I want to be a director, but you never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.”
― Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

“The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?”
― Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

“I’m writing it in this letter, the whole
truth of why it happened. And the truth is
that I goddamn loved you so much.”
― Daniel Handler, Why We Broke Up

“She: We broke up.
Male Friend: You okay? You need to talk? Shoulder to cry on? You want to come over? Go to dinner? Sleep with me finally?”
― Nitya Prakash

“When I broke up with my unfaithful ex, no one in the family was bothered about my feelings. It was all about trying to make us stay together so my child could be happy.”
― Steven Magee

“I thought it was really weird when my girlfriend broke up with me because she was changing gender! I later realized she was working a toxic job.”
― Steven Magee