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“It occurred to Susan that men were always waiting for something cataclysmic--love or war or a giant asteroid. Every man wanted to be a hot-headed Bruce Willis character, fighting against the evil foreign enemy while despising the domestic bureaucracy. Men just wanted to focus on one big thing, leaving the thousands of smaller messes for the women around them to clean up.”
― Bonnie Jo Campbell, American Salvage

“You want to pray to someone, pray to Bruce Willis in Armageddon.”
― Ben H. Winters, The Last Policeman

“Matthew, this is Bruce Willis. Call me back, or I'll burn your house down and break both your knees and arms and you'll be left with just the stubs for hands and feet for the rest of your life.”
― Matthew Perry, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing