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“You are real," she said to herself.

"Aye." His voice was deep and resonant, a caress in her ears. But then it cracked, as if he were in pain. "And you are with young."

"I am."

He closed his eyes again, but now it was as if he'd been struck by a body blow. "I saw you."

"When?"

"At the clinic. Nights and nights ago. I thought they had beaten you."

"The Brotherhood? Why ever - "

"Because of me." His eyes opened, and there was such anguish in them, she wanted to comfort him in some way. "I would never have chosen for you to be in this position. You are not of the war, and my lieutenant should never, ever have brought you into it." His voice grew deeper and deeper. "You are an innocent. Even I, who have no honor, recognized that instantly."

If he had no honor, why had he disarmed himself just now, she thought.

"Are you mated?" he said roughly.

"No."

Abruptly, his upper lip peeled back from tremendous fangs. "If you were raped - "

"No. No, no - I chose this for myself. For the male." Her hand went to her abdomen. "I wanted a young. My needing came, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to be a mahmen to something that was mine."
Those narrowed eyes closed again, and he brought up a callused hand to his face. Hiding his irregular mouth, he said, "I wish that I..."

"What?"

"...I were worthy to have given you what you desired."

Layla again felt an unholy need to reach out and touch him, to ease him in some way. His reaction was so raw and honest, and his suffering seemed rather like her own whenever she thought of him.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover at Last