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“I care for you, darling, I love you,
the only reason I fucked L. is because you fucked
Z. and then I fucked R. and you fucked N.
and because you fucked N. I had to fuck
Y. But I think of you constantly, I feel you
here in my belly like a baby, love I'd call it,
no matter what happens I'd call it love, and so
you fucked C. and then before I could move
you fucked W., so I had to fuck D. But
I want you to know that I love you, I think of you
constantly, I don't think I've ever loved anybody
like I love you.”
― Charles Bukowski, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit

“When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided & Conquered

“Why had he done it? Why couldn't it just not have happened? Why didn't they have time-travel, why couldn't he go back and stop it happening? Ships that could circumnavigate the galaxy in a few years, and count every cell in your body from light-years off, but he wasn't able to go back one miserable day and alter one tiny, stupid, idiotic, shameful decision...”
― Iain M. Banks, The Player of Games

“Commitment is Circumstances”
― Leju Thomas

“Hatsumi had a pretty good idea that Nagasawa was sleeping around, but she never complained to him. She was seriously in love with him, but she never made demands.

'I don't deserve a girl like Hatsumi,' Nagasawa once said to me. I had to agree with him.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“I´m just not sending out the right vibe lately. Perhaps the fact that I wear stained sweatpants and free T-shirts is holding me back. I just can´t seem to get back into the intelligent-slut-for-hire outfits that lure men; even shoes with laces evade me. Plus my hair is Fran Lebowitz-esque. I think my eyes are getting closer together. I don´t know.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I know my vision is impaired and cannot be trusted with even the simplest tasks, much less dating. Not that I´ve come within talon distance of a man.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Claiming to love self, but willingly default to cheating at the first sign of trouble is nothing short of playing yourself. Your ego may feel avenged - temporarily - but your heart and soul, the true self, will suffer the long term affects of karma's justifiable sting.”
― T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph over Death and Conscious Encounters With the Divine Presence

“This does not escape my notice, it is a context. I resent the fact of a context; my social status has shifted and no one is going to acknowldege it, that´s certain. I´m expected to be Brave and Rise Above. I dress for the role; I must look far better now that I did when I was married. I must look pulled together into a nice tight Hermès knot of self-containment. I don´t make the rules; I just do my best to follow them.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“There is that, and there is also the Irreconcilable Differences line. It seems so catchall, so vague. You could say that about anyone, any man and woman at all. Jesus and Mary Magdalene: "Irreconcilable Differences." JFK and Jackie, anyone at all. It´s built into the man-woman thing. What kind of paltry reason is that? "Insanity" is another box to be checked on the divorce petition, the only alternative to "Irreconcilable Differences." I would like to check it.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?"
Seeing someone else? How on earth could that explain any of this? Why would seeing someone else necessitate bringing home a middle­-aged woman, a teenaged punk and an American with a leather jacket and a Rod Stewart haircut? What would the story have been? But then, after reflection, I realised that Penny had probably been here before, and therefore knew that infidelity can usually provide the answer to any domestic mystery. If I had walked in with Sheena Easton and Donald Rumsfeld, Penny would probably have scratched her head for a few seconds before saying exactly the same thing.
In other circumstances, on other evenings, it would have been the right conclusion, too; I used to be pretty resourceful when I was being unfaithful to Cindy, even if I do say so myself. I once drove a new BMW into a wall, simply because I needed to explain a four­-hour delay in getting home from work. Cindy came out into the street to inspect the crumpled bonnet, looked at me, and said, “You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?� I denied it, of course.
But then, anything â€� smashing up a new car, persuading Donald Rumsfeld to come to an Islington flat in the early hours of New Year’s Day â€� is easier than actually telling the truth. That look you get, the look which lets you see right through the eyes and down into the place where she keeps all the hurt and the rage and the loathing... Who wouldn’t go that extra yard to avoid it?”
― Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down

“You get what you give," we will tell his sorry, selfish ass." The Betty Lady has spoken. I detect a Bronx accent.
"But," I demur, "it will make the other woman say, ´See? She IS a jealous and paranoid and pushy wife.´"
The Betty Lady rips open a cell phone statement with a nail file and, without looking up at me, says, "Let me tell you something, honey. In my experience? The only thing they care about is what they see in the mirror each morning and WINNING...or their perception of winning.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I was the other man, basically. The OB â€� which is lingo for “original boyfriendâ€� not obstetrician â€� was just ridiculous looking. ”
― Chase Brooks

“I´ve blown it, the whole grisly charade.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Maxim 31:
Only cheaters prosper.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”
― Howard Tayler

“The Earth is God's pinball machine and each quake, tidal wave, flash flood and volcanic eruption is the result of a TILT that occurs when God, cheating, tries to win free games.”
― Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

“To keep myself from harming or calling N and to stave off the rage and despair, I focus on my extraordinary son, drink midrange Chardonnay every night after he is asleep, and make a barrage of late-night mail-order retail purchases placed from the couch. The couch has officially become my second battle station. I am angry and I have credit And I´m all blackened inside; I should wear a pointy witch hat around Larkspur as I go to the bank and drop A off at day care. It would be more honest.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“He should in humility have asked her why it was that he was naturally a cuckold, why two women of different temperaments and characters had been inspired to have lovers at his expense. He should be telling her, with the warmth of her body warming his, that his second wife had confessed to greater sexual pleasure when she remembered that she was deceiving him.”
― William Trevor

“It had all seemed as inevitable as sunset. Instead it was the beauty of the sun glinting upon the scythe.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I think: I would like to take N back to a story right now, like a rake.
I would say, "Oh, this rake is uneven. Do you have any where the tines go straight across?"
I would like to do a straight exchange.
But there are things that cannot be returned. Errant husbands are one of them. Wives are not. Wives can be exchanged; I have always known this.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“People told me not to get married; I didn´t listen. No one ever listens, it seems to me now. Perhaps people should stop trying to communicate. N was not a communicator; early on, I´d insisted on communication. Now I see his point acutely. I would love to have him back to not communicate with me. I would never ask for communication again, I would simply go elsewhere for the deep fish. Also, I´m not at all sure I want to hear what he has to say in this new vista. This works out well.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“What was she going to do with two Drustans?
A kinky part of her proposed something unmentionable and rather fascinating. Really, if they were both him, it wouldn't be like she was cheating on anyone.”
― Karen Marie Moning

“For me, it´s sloth," I say. "Hedonistic sloth and escapism.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Each man takes care that his neighbor shall not cheat him. But a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbor. Then all goes well - he has changed his market-cart into a chariot of the sun.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Naturally, I do blame Françoise. I blame her for having N in the first place. She was young, she was beautiful, she was married to a doctor, and she was intelligent. She could have abstained from producing her first son. It was wrong on a variety of levels.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Although I notice there is never a truly good time to have a nice long chat with one´s mother-in-law, unless you are having an extraordinary life and marriage and your mother-in-law is, say, Maureen Dowd, or Indira Gandhi. Someone of that ilk.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“When you struggle with fear and trust issues, be aware that you may not trust yourself. You are the first person you must learn to trust.”
― Tracy Malone

“Très, très, triste...”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Thank God (my wife) and I were both born poor
so the concept of fidelity was allowed to take root in us.”
― Allan Wolf, The Watch That Ends the Night

“She had thought he was dead, or at least not totally alive, and you could not still be dating someone you believe had an autopsy, so it was not really cheating.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, Danse Macabre