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“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”
― Eoin Colfer

“Giving evidence against one's employers was the first step to unemployment.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Opal Deception

“Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code