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“I made a gagging motion, shifted on my feet, then texted again.

Me: Seriously! Trapped! And your dick can't be the sick of that python on your arm because that would mean you actually impale women on a daily basis!

Colin: Just call me Dracula

I frowned.

Colin: Get it? The Impaler?

Me: Look at that, Basement Dweller can joke. He's got jokes. Meanwhile I'm going to starve to death in this pantry!

Colin: You mean, around all that food?”
― Rachel Van Dyken, Dirty Exes

“I dropped the bomb. "I'm a PI."

Colin burst out laughing and when my silence said it all, he choked out. "Oh! Shit! You're serious?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, counted like I always when I was stressed, and said, "Yes. Dead serious. His wife is having him investigated and i'm meeting with her in a few hours and I have no dirt on him! I need more info than what I currently have, which is that he hates cats and danced like the Beebs!"

"The man has hips."

"Right!?"

"Your lack of focus is extremely disappointing. He can dance. So what?" Colin sounded like he was yawning.”
― Rachel Van Dyken, Dirty Exes