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Family Guy Quotes

Quotes tagged as "family-guy" Showing 1-6 of 6
Seth MacFarlane
“This is life, the one you get so go and have a ball, because the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have my opening statement..sit ubu sit. Good dog.”
Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy: Peter Griffin's Guide to the Holidays

“Sir, I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I'm not sir, and that sir is an idiot.”
Peter Griffin

“At first I didn't believe in women and unicorns but that was before I knew about the power of chick stuff and before I knew Vageena Hertz.”
Peter Griffin

“With the heart at stake, right and wrong is a stake through the heart.”
Brian Griffin, Faster Than The Speed of Love

Stacey Ballis
“Dumpling is the kind of dog that makes people on the street do double- and triple-takes and ask in astonished voices, "What kind of dog IS that?!" His head is way too small for his thick, solid body, and his legs are too spindly. His eyes point away from each other like a chameleon. One side of his mouth curls up a little, half-Elvis, half palsy-victim, and his tongue has a tendency to stick out just a smidgen on that side. He was found as a puppy running down the median of a local highway, and I adopted him from PAWS five years ago, after he had been there for nearly a year. He is, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me.
My girlfriend Bennie says it looks like he was assembled by a disgruntled committee. Barry calls him a random collection of dog bits. My mom, in a classic ESL moment, asked upon meeting him, "He has the Jack Daniels in him, leetle bit, no?' I was going to correct her and say Jack Russell, but when you look at him, he does look a little bit like he has the Jack Daniels in him. My oldest nephew, Alex, who watches too much Family Guy and idolizes Stewie, took one look, and then turned to me in all seriousness and said in that weird almost-British accent, "Aunt Alana, precisely what brand of dog is that?" I replied, equally seriously, that he was a purebred Westphalian Stoat Hound. When the kid learns how to Google, I'm going to lose major cool aunt points.
Dumpling tilts his head back and licks the underside of my chin, wallowing in love.
"Dog, you are going to be the death of me. You have got to let me sleep sometime."
These words are barely out of my mouth, when he leaps up and starts barking, in a powerful growly baritone that belies his small stature.”
Stacey Ballis, Off the Menu