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“Whoever had said in the guidebooks that the bum bag was a sensible device against theft had lied; no single item of dressware ever invented cried out "mug me" more than a pouch of zip-up plastic suspended by your groin.”
― Kate Griffin, The Midnight Mayor

“Your orange fanny pack reminds me of my Leftover Meatloaf Holder. I wear it when I work out or make love. My incredible level of romance can be rented by you for the unbelievably low price of $14.95 per hour.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“fanny-pack: (v.) to put on a few extra pounds during the holiday season.”
― Sol Luckman, The Angel's Dictionary