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“I'm just a talking parrot baby, like you”
― Liam Payne

“Come on Barbie , let's go party , Ah ah ah , Yea”
― Niall Horan

“I sometimes cry at night when I realize my vasectomy is permanent.”
― John Cena

“Now I was moving to the kingdom of plants. Next would come minerals.”
― André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name

“I'm just a talking parrot baby, like you”
― Louis Tomlinson

“Don't use the word 'extirpate' too often.”
― Ron Padgett, How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide

“Know that the only perfect things are a 300 game in bowling and a 27-batter, 27-out game in baseball.”
― Ron Padgett, How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide

“Don't read the newspaper more than once a year.”
― Ron Padgett, How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide

“Sunset arrived with the punctuality geometry dictated.”
― Greg Egan, Dichronauts

“I'm not sure that humiliating the wealthy would work in my favor, Theo mused. I believe there've been a few occasions in history where that didn't turn out so well.”
― Greg Egan, Dichronauts

“Si un retrasado se puede volver inteligente, supongo que un imbécil puede aprender a ser agradecido.”
― Alethia Diaz Vazquez, Cinco Cosas

“I secretly put my microphone up my butt before I perform so I am one with the mic.”
― Beyonce

“„Ich fragte mich, wie sie denn aus dem Klassenzimmer fliehen wollten, wenn sie an der einzigen Tür vorbeigelaufen waren, doch in dem Moment zielte einer der Schüler auf die Wand vor ihnen mit seiner Hand, ein Feuerball kam aus dieser heraus und explodierte kurz, sodass in der Wand nun ein großes Loch war.

Ich war sehr froh, dass ich kein Bauarbeiter war.”
― Arden Skye, Crossroads -- March of Robots

“Jesus, in Your mercy, please protect fools like us. Amen.”
― Kevin Sands, The Blackthorn Key

“Ah, about that," she said, and shifted her wrist just enough for him to feel the blade she'd flicked free in the moment before she'd sensed his attack --- the steel now resting against his groin. 'Immortality seems like a long, long time to go without your favorite body part.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows

“Stilton is almost as good as goat entrails.â€�
“You’re wasted here,â€� I say. “You should be in marketing.”
― C.N. Crawford, Vale of Dreams

“Tana grabs the plate, staring at it. “I don’t eat it, but I can see the future in cheese. Especially if it’s ripe like this.â€�
“I’m just going to have a little nibble.� Serana grabs a piece and pops it in her mouth.
“Serana!â€� Tana yanks the cheese plate away. “You just ate the fate of the Italian military.”
― C.N. Crawford, Vale of Dreams

“So you're going to ask Ress and Brullo to just leave the back door open so you can sneak in?"
"Don't be so simpleminded. I'm going to walk in through the front door.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows

“I knew a psychic in Hollywood who suffered from dyslexia. She could only predict the past, but she was very accurate.”
― Mark Steven Porro, A Cup of Tea on the Commode: My Multi-Tasking Adventures of Caring for Mom. And How I Survived to Tell the Tale

“I gave my mother her first bubble bath in years, but she passed out in the tub. Great, I try to do a good thing and I kill my mom. At least she smelled good.”
― Mark Steven Porro, A Cup of Tea on the Commode: My Multi-Tasking Adventures of Caring for Mom. And How I Survived to Tell the Tale

“Somehow the conversation drifted to G-string bathing suits (or as I call them, “anal flossâ€�). We talked about their popularity and who would—or who should not—be jumping on that fashion bandwagon. Mom was completely in the dark. “What’s a G-string?â€� she asked.
The girls described them in detail.
“G-string,â€� Mom replied. “I’d need two Gs.”
― Mark Steven Porro, A Cup of Tea on the Commode: My Multi-Tasking Adventures of Caring for Mom. And How I Survived to Tell the Tale

“Mask Face, don't let the trees eat me.”
― Holly Alasti, A Dance of Restless Spirits

“That's not the right question, Chen Mu. The question is, why are you lying in a pile of rotting snake guts? It's a bit melodramatic, no?”
― Holly Alasti, A Dance of Restless Spirits

“Hold out your arms. I only have two hands. I can't heal all of you at once. And, please, stop with the demonic chanting, will you? I'm allergic to demonic chanting”
― Holly Alasti, A Dance of Restless Spirits

“I’m calm,â€� Rachel insisted. “Every time I’m around you, some monsters attack us. What’s to be nervous about?â€�
“Look,� I said. “I’m sorry about the band room. I hope they didn’t kick you our or anything.�
“Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.�
“Was it hard?â€� Annabeth asked. (The Battle of the Labyrinth)”
― Rick Riordan

“What's underneath the balcony?" Rio asked.
"What?"
"On the ground beneath the balcony. What's there?"
"Why do you want to know?" Paris replied warily.
"I think you know."
Paris glanced over at the area. "Bushes."
"Gently-break-your-fall bushes? Or scratch-you-up-when-you-hit-them bushes?"
Paris thought for a moment and said, "Way-better-than-a-Brazilian-prison bushes.”
― James Ponti, Mission Manhattan

“He laughed in response as if they were flirting. Was this how Fates flirted-- with accusations of murder?”
― Stephanie Garber, Once Upon a Broken Heart

“I don't want to be a vampire, but I do want to bite you.”
― Stephanie Garber, Once Upon a Broken Heart

“His favorite Herbie Hancock, 'Someday My Prince Will Come'."
I'm no prince, but when I'm buried inside Ivory, I will always come.”
― Pam Godwin, Dark Notes

“We had a saying in my old Italian neighborhood â€� Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I’ll kick your ass.”
― Jerry Il'Giovine, PAPA A Journey Back: Stories of Family, Friends & Life by an Italian American