Gay Humor Quotes
Quotes tagged as "gay-humor"
Showing 1-19 of 19

“I was so happy to be out of there.
“Barabas, if you weren’t batting for the other team, I’d marry you.�
He grinned. “If I weren’t batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal."
You had me at ‘No comment.�
If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier.”
― Gunmetal Magic
“Barabas, if you weren’t batting for the other team, I’d marry you.�
He grinned. “If I weren’t batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal."
You had me at ‘No comment.�
If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier.”
― Gunmetal Magic

“As a general rule, you won't find the love of your life while you're on your knees under a table." -- Helios Dayspring”
― An Uncommon Whore
― An Uncommon Whore

“Because Clare had never let the fact that Mark didn't have a father in his life get in the way of sex education. She'd been showing Mark how to roll condoms onto bananas long before he'd known it was other bananas he was interested in.”
― Mark Cooper versus America
― Mark Cooper versus America

“...let me say, on behalf of the entire gay male community, we hate your fucking guts ’cause you landed him. Share, you selfish bastard.”
― Prey
― Prey

“At what point in your life did you decide you were the sort of guy who wanted to be fisted?”
― Mark Cooper versus America
― Mark Cooper versus America

“[Walt] Whitman would never get in the way of a boy trying to get off with another boy. Bros before prose.”
― Mark Cooper versus America
― Mark Cooper versus America

“What goes in your butthole is your business, all we care about is making sure Chipotle is what comes out of it." - Rodrigo Chipotle”
―
―

“What’s your name, Farm Boy?â€�
“Charlie Heggensford, ma’am.â€� He stuck out his hand and she smiled as she shook it.”
― Fluffers, Inc.
“Charlie Heggensford, ma’am.â€� He stuck out his hand and she smiled as she shook it.”
― Fluffers, Inc.

“Deacon grinned and raised his hand. There was a moment’s hesitation, a few seconds where Deacon wasn’t sure whether he could really do it. Then he brought his hand down, smacking the center of Mark’s ass. Mark’s breath hitched, but other than that, nothing much happened. The spot Deacon had slapped was barely pink. “Was that okay?â€� Deacon asked.
“Was what okay?� Mark asked, lifting his head.
“Uh, the way I did that?�
“Did you do something?�
“What do you mean?�
“I might be wrong, mate, but isn’t a spanking supposed to hurt a bit? You’ve got arm muscles; why don’t you use th—�
The crack of Deacon’s palm against Mark’s flesh made Deacon cringe—not out of sympathy for Mark so much as fear that the entire house had heard it. Mark bucked, and the pink patch that appeared on his right cheek was quite satisfying. “Better?� Deacon asked.
“God. Fuck. Yes. Better,â€� Mark said into the pillow.”
― Mark Cooper versus America
“Was what okay?� Mark asked, lifting his head.
“Uh, the way I did that?�
“Did you do something?�
“What do you mean?�
“I might be wrong, mate, but isn’t a spanking supposed to hurt a bit? You’ve got arm muscles; why don’t you use th—�
The crack of Deacon’s palm against Mark’s flesh made Deacon cringe—not out of sympathy for Mark so much as fear that the entire house had heard it. Mark bucked, and the pink patch that appeared on his right cheek was quite satisfying. “Better?� Deacon asked.
“God. Fuck. Yes. Better,â€� Mark said into the pillow.”
― Mark Cooper versus America

“...you would not believe what that man is packing in those tiny shorts. Seriously, it must be like the Tardis in there.”
― Dead Serious Case #1: Miz Dusty Le Frey
― Dead Serious Case #1: Miz Dusty Le Frey

“Evan saw a man across the kitchen, butt leaning against the counter, muscular arms folded over his broad chest. His blond hair was cut very short, and his eyes were bright blue sparks. Evan’s gaze locked with Paul’s, and a sudden sense of vertigo swam through his head. The conversation in the other room, the back and forth between John and Alden, the startling brilliance of Bill’s teeth -- all of that faded away as Paul stared back at him. Evan found himself inside a strange bubble that blocked all outside stimuli. He had never experienced a connection this intense before, especially with an initial look, and even though it terrified him in a thrillingly sexual way, he didn’t dare pull his gaze away from Paul’s for fear of breaking the timeless moment between them.”
― Plus Ones
― Plus Ones

“Charlie squinted in the glare of the sun. “Are you a member of the crew?â€� He stepped forward and shaded his eyes.
“In a manner of speaking,� the man replied. “I’m Rock Harding.�
“Oh, nice to meet you.”
― Fluffers, Inc.
“In a manner of speaking,� the man replied. “I’m Rock Harding.�
“Oh, nice to meet you.”
― Fluffers, Inc.

“Tiring of his questioning, I tell him adamantly that nothing's ever going to happen between Kahn and I.
"But you want it to."
"It doesn't matter what I want. It's never gonna happen."
"Does he know that you wear ballet shoes to bed?"
"I do NOT-"
He laughed, "That you're GAY-"
"Oh. Yeah- he knows THAT."
He asks if Kahn is okay with me being gay.
"HE LOVES IT."
"LOVES THAT YOU'RE GAY?"
"YEAH."
"Sounds PROMISING."
"That's what I thought. But Nadda."
"Nadda... YET.”
― Uninhibited From Lust To Love
"But you want it to."
"It doesn't matter what I want. It's never gonna happen."
"Does he know that you wear ballet shoes to bed?"
"I do NOT-"
He laughed, "That you're GAY-"
"Oh. Yeah- he knows THAT."
He asks if Kahn is okay with me being gay.
"HE LOVES IT."
"LOVES THAT YOU'RE GAY?"
"YEAH."
"Sounds PROMISING."
"That's what I thought. But Nadda."
"Nadda... YET.”
― Uninhibited From Lust To Love

“How shall we go about becoming the greatest empire on earth? Say, I know. Let’s have our manliest sport involve butt-slapping, shoulder pads, and prancing.”
― Mark Cooper versus America
― Mark Cooper versus America
“As if anyone in Paris would believe for a second that I was a top. Not only was I made for being manhandled, I was far too lazy to be anything but a bottom.”
― Les Recidivists
― Les Recidivists

“I forgot my balls,â€� Lucas said coming over.
“Your what?�
“My balls. Apparently I left them in this room somewhere, because otherwise I’d have had them in your office in order to tell you that you’re full of shit,â€� Lucas replied.”
― Sheik Down
“Your what?�
“My balls. Apparently I left them in this room somewhere, because otherwise I’d have had them in your office in order to tell you that you’re full of shit,â€� Lucas replied.”
― Sheik Down

“Please, you love being the center of attention."
"Says the guy who is literally at the center of every baseball game."
"I'm the pitcher," he defended, exasperated and a few of the guys on his team nodded at that
"Don't bring the bedroom into this!" I couldn't help myself.”
― One Little Word
"Says the guy who is literally at the center of every baseball game."
"I'm the pitcher," he defended, exasperated and a few of the guys on his team nodded at that
"Don't bring the bedroom into this!" I couldn't help myself.”
― One Little Word

“He was HOT. I sometimes forgot that since I'd been careful to shove him in the "boss box".”
― Bad Intentions
― Bad Intentions
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