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“In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”
― Eoin Colfer, Half Moon Investigations

“Excuse me, Tex," the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits.”
― Eoin Colfer, Half Moon Investigations

“You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.
'Nope,' I replied.”
― Eoin Colfer, Half Moon Investigations

“She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the moment of impact? I'm writing this short story--'
'Put that away, Hazel,' hissed Mam. 'The poor boy is in pain.'
Hazel persisted. 'Would that be a white-hot pain? Or more of a dull throbbing pain?”
― Eoin Colfer