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“Though I do not believe in the order of things, still the sticky little leaves that come out in the spring are dear to me, the blue sky is dear to me, some people are dear to me, whom one loves sometimes, would you believe it, without even knowing why; some human deeds are dear to me, which one has perhaps long ceased believing in, but still honors with one's heart, out of old habit..."
--Ivan Karamazov”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“I don't think-"
"Clearly. Why start now?”
― Leigh Bardugo, Siege and Storm

“There is something spiteful and yet open-hearted about you”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“But what about me? I suffer, but still, I don’t live. I am x in an indeterminate equation. I am a sort of phantom in life who has lost all beginning and end, and who has even forgotten his own name. You are laughing- no, you are not laughing, you are angry again. You are forever angry, all you care about is intelligence, but I repeat again that I would give away all this superstellar life, all the ranks and honours, simply to be transformed into the soul of a merchant’s wife weighing eighteen stone and set candles at God’s shrine”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“I, for example, quiet plainly and simply insist upon annihilation for myself. “No,â€� they say, “you must go on living, for without you there would be nothing. If everything on earth were reasonable, nothing would ever happen. Without you there would be no events, and it is necessary that there should be events.â€� Well, and so on I drudge with unwilling heart so that there be events, and bring about unreason by command. People think toute cette comedie is something serious, all there unquestionable intelligence notwithstanding. There lies there tragedy. Well, and they suffer, of course, but â€� al the same they live, they live in reality, not in fantasy; for suffering is also life. Without suffering what pleasure would there be in it? Everything would turn into one single, endless church service: much holy soaring, but rather boring. Well, and I? I suffer, but even so I do not live. I am the “xâ€� in an indeterminate equation. I am one of life’s ghosts, who has lost all the ends and the beginnings, and even at last forgotten what to call myself. You are laughing . . . No, you are not laughing, you are angry again. You are eternally angry, you would like there to be nothing but intelligence, but I will tell you again that I would renounce all this empyrean existence, all these honours and ranks just in order to be able to take fleshy form in the person of a seven-pood merchant’s wife and set up candles to God in church.

‘So, you don’t believe in God either?� Ivan said, smiling with hatred.

‘Well, how can I explain it to you, if you are serious, that is . . . �

‘Does God exist or not?� Ivan barked, again with ferocious insistence.

‘Ah, so you are serious? My dear little dove, I swear to God I do not know, pour vous dire le grand mot.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“The centripetal force on our planet is still fearfully strong, Alyosha. I have a longing for life, and I go on living in spite of logic. Though I may not believe in the order of the universe, yet I love the sticky little leaves as they open in spring. I love the blue sky, I love some people, whom one loves you know sometimes without knowing why. I love some great deeds done by men, though I’ve long ceased perhaps to have faith in them, yet from old habit one’s heart prizes them.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what’s irrational because I am commanded to. For all their indisputable intelligence, men take this farce as something serious, and that is their tragedy. They suffer, of courseâ€� but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it?”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“Look, suppose that there was one among all those who desire nothing but material and filthy lucre, that one, at least, is like my old Inquisitor, who himself ate roots in the desert and raved, overcoming his flesh, in order to make himself free and perfect, but who still loved mankind all his life, and suddenly opened his eyes and he saw that there is no great moral blessedness in achieving perfection of the will only to become convinced, at the same time, that millions of the rest of God's creatures have been set up only for mockery, that they will never be strong enough to manage their freedom, that from such pitiful rebels will never come giants to complete the tower, that it was not for such geese that the great idealist dreamt his dream of harmony.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“A nice God you've got, if man created him in his image and likeness.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“. . . you see, I'm an amateur and collector of certain little facts; I copy them down from newspapers and stories, from wherever, and save them . . . certain kinds of anecdotes. I already have a nice collection of them.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“In the splendid auto-da-fé
Evil heretics were burnt.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“Listen, Alyosha," Ivan began in a resolute voice, "if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet. Is that enough for you?”
― Fyodor Dostoyevski, The Brothers Karamazov

“Just so. But hesitation, suspense, conflict between belief and disbelief- is sometimes such torture to a conscientious man, such as you are, that it's better to hang oneself at once.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevski, The Brothers Karamazov